


Caught in Between

by mycatcanwrite



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 61,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycatcanwrite/pseuds/mycatcanwrite
Summary: With the coronavirus crisis seeming to be under control in Canada, Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue are caught off guard when they're caught in the middle of a shelter-in-place order.Forced to live together in her house in London, they confront truths about themselves and their relationship-- both good and bad.Will their friendship survive? Or will they realize they're both with the wrong partners?Nothing is easy when you're caught in between.
Relationships: Scott Moir & Tessa Virtue, Scott Moir/Tessa Virtue
Comments: 223
Kudos: 252





	1. Maybe We Can Stay & Wait It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been floating around in my head for months, and after the NHL announced a decision about resuming their "season", I started to make it more concrete.  
> This is fiction-- which means many of the events surrounding the pandemic in Canada are not real nor are they probably realistic.
> 
> I have to give credit to @rookandpawn... one morning I wrote to her and told her I had written this, but I was too scared to post it. She offered to read it. She gave me her feedback and told me to go for it.  
> I have tried my best to be fair to all parties involved. My own feelings on pairings have been put to the side, because I wanted to create something for all fans. I hope you like it.

Tessa ran her hand over the soft fabric of the hoodie and swallowed back the tears threatening to spill over. She hadn’t felt like this except the few times when she was standing on the second tallest podium at a competition. But, why did this feel like a loss now?

Morgan was headed to Toronto to start practice for the truncated hockey season due to the pandemic. An agreement had been reached for a 24-team playoff scenario with teams heading to two hub locations to play games without fans. There was nearly three months of practice and then the games in the Fall. Players had to isolate from their families the entire time, so Tessa decided to head to London for a few weeks to reconnect with her family and then eventually move on to Toronto.

”Tess, have you seen Maggie’s yellow ball?” Morgan shouted from the kitchen.

She exhaled a shaky breath, sniffled and steeled herself before she answered, “Yeah, I think it’s in your office. She snuck in during your team call.”

She heard his muffled ‘found it’ as she wiped her nose with the cuff of her sweatshirt.

”Hey, wanna go for a walk and then do takeout from Amici? A little pasta and some wine?” Morgan walked into the bedroom.

Her stomach still did flip-flops when he looked at her. When Elisha first introduced them more than a year ago, she wasn’t interested. At least that’s what she told herself. She was reeling from Scott and realizing she had messed that up and missed her chance. But, Elisha was persistent. 

_”Tessa, I’m not asking you to marry the guy. Just exchange numbers. He’s super sweet. He’ll be fun.”_

She acquiesced. Morgan was different from Scott. The biggest difference: Morgan was available. And, interested in her. But, the truth was Scott had been interested in her. She just wasn’t ready.

”I’d love that,” She looked up at him, her eyes watery.

”Hey.” He pulled her up and close to him.

”Gnnna miff ew.” She breathed into the hard planes of his chest. 

For the first time in her life, she was in love. With another man. 

  


******

”Hi...”

”Hey babe. How’s work?” Scott asked Jackie over FaceTime.

”Tiring, but good.”

Scott raised his eyebrow at her, he knew better.

”I lost another patient. He was 58. His family couldn’t be with him. He was a teacher. Loved golf. My dad’s...” Her voice trembled.

Scott nodded. He was proud of his fiancée. As soon as they arrived back from Florida, she searched the various local hospitals’ websites. London Health needed help in their respiratory department. She applied for the job and after three weeks in quarantine and an emergency physician assistant’s license, she began her 12-hour-a-day shifts. She’d come home most nights, weary to the bone, and profoundly sad. She recognized some of the last names on her rounds; people she went to camp with, elementary school, or high school. She even saw her neighbor, Mr. Cotter. He was lucky; he had a mild case of it and recovered in a few days. 

”What are you up to today?” The toll of her hard work evident in her voice.

”Clearing some logs off the property and the tile for the guest bathroom came in.”

”That sounds fun.”

Scott could hear a voice calling for Jackie in the background.

”You gotta go?”

”Yeah, sorry. Make sure you eat. I love you.”

”Love you too and you make sure you eat, too.”

  


_A week later…_

The medical staff gathered around the nurses’ station. Margaret Collingswood, the charge nurse, waited for the chatter to quiet down. She looked out at the 25 or so tired faces of her amazing team; nurses, physician assistants, and nursing assistants. She had asked so much of them already, and now she was about to ask for a huge sacrifice. The situation had grown worse and they needed to implement extreme measures for everyone’s safety.

”Alright everybody, here’s the deal. Please listen. These last 48 hours have been a game changer. We need to get a handle on this. So, Dr. Martin and Dr. Lockwood have made a difficult but necessary decision. As of now, you are on lockdown. I am so sorry. I know the burden this places on you and your families. But, we have no other choices. We can’t put our patients at risk or the public. The case numbers have grown exponentially over the past week; other hospitals are seeing the same rise.”

Jackie looked around at her colleagues, everyone was exhausted and scared. She knew her face reflected the same. She swallowed back her tears.

“This means you cannot go home so we have secured hotels. If your last name begins with the letter A through J, you will head to the Radisson. If your last name starts with K through Z, you will be at the Residence Inn. We will pay for your meals. You are not allowed to have guests. I must emphasize you are not allowed to go home. You can only go to the hotel and take the shuttle to the hospital. I’m sure many of you have questions, we will do our best to answer them.”

The staff nodded their heads and Margaret spent the next 15 minutes answering questions. When she was finished, she locked herself in her office and cried.

  


Scott edged the tile into the cutter and scored it once. His cell phone buzzed. He grabbed it off the counter and saw Jackie’s face. He swiped open and hit speaker.

”Hey.”

”Hi.”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

”They put the hospital on lockdown. We can’t go home. They’re making all staff stay at hotels. We can’t see our families. I can’t see you. I can’t…” She hiccupped back a sob.

”Okay, okay. Slow down—I’m right here.”

”Scott. I—“ Her voice broke.

”Jax, don’t cry. I know. I know, babe. It’s heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine. It’s okay, I’m right here. Did they say for how long you’re on lockdown?”

”At least two weeks, probably longer.”

”Okay. What can I do for you?”

”Nothing. It just—tell me about your day. Distract me.”

”You got it.” He slumped against the hallway wall and shared his adventures in tiling. Before long, Jackie was laughing.

  


******

Tessa sipped her lemon water and looked over the latest request from Bon Look. They wanted one final collection from her before she dove fully into her Executive MBA studies in August. Her FaceTime pinged.

”Hey Jord, wasn’t enough to torture me an hour ago with that barre class—“

”Just wanted to check on you.”

”Or did mom ask you to check on me?”

”Noooo, I wanted to. I had to hang up yesterday before we really had a chance to talk. Whatcha doing today?”

”Working on some designs for Bon Look. Do you think black, oversized cat-eye frames are wintery?”

”I think they’ve been done before,” Jordan snarked.

”Fine.”

”How’s Morgan?” Jordan studied her sister’s face.

”Good. Practice is rough but he’s happy to be back.”

”He must be excited.”

”Yeah, I just miss him.” A twinge of sadness punctuated her comment.

”I know. But, soon school will start and you’ll be super busy and then before you know it, you’ll be reunited. Mom said there were a lot of new coronavirus cases in London. You’re being careful?”

”Yeah. I think I read something like another 25 cases this week. I’m headed to Loblaw’s today. I need a few things.”

Jordan tilted her head.

”I have my mask.”

”Fine. What else do you have on your to-do list?”

”I was thinking of calling Scott. I was going to see if he wanted to grab a coffee or maybe lunch.”

Jordan opened her mouth but Tessa cut her short.

”He’s been in quarantine and isolation for more than a month. I’ll be fine.”

”Okay.”

They chatted for a few more minutes and as soon as Tessa hung up, she called Scott.

”Hey T.”

”Hi, how are you?”

”Go-od.” His voice sounded far away and strained.

”What are you doing?”

”Sorry, I’m tiling the guest bathroom.”

Tessa smiled. She remembered how he oversaw the backyard landscaping at her home after the Olympics. He’d come over in the morning and hang out while the workers planted bushes and redid her back patio. She’d been so busy with her sponsorships she didn’t have time to properly supervise. She was grateful to have him around and it turned out spectacular. 

”What’s it look like?” She asked.

”Unfinished.”

Tessa laughed, “I meant-“

”I know. I’ll send you a photo.”

”Or you could show me the photos in person. I was wondering if you wanted to have coffee or maybe lunch?”

”Uh—sure. When?”

Tessa hesitated. “You can bring Jackie. Does Friday work?”

”Jackie’s on lockdown at the hospital. They had a bunch of cases and so she can’t come home. She’s been at the Residence Inn for three days now.”

”Oh Scott, I’m so sorry. I read about that, but I wasn’t sure if she was part of it. Is she managing okay?”

”Yeah, mostly. It’s just hard because her patients are really sick and then she’s isolated. And, I feel badly ‘cause I can’t do anything for her.“

Tessa bit her lip. The question wiggling its way to her mouth.

”She’s really worried about the wedding. I mean I don’t see how it can happen.”

”I’m sorry.”

”Me too,” He paused. “So, how’s Morgan? How’s practice?”

”Good. He’s good. He’s happy to be back on the ice and the team is happy to see each other. They’re anxious to start playing.”

”Me too. The Jackets won’t be easy, but I’m counting on him and the boys. Anyhow, Friday works for me. I can grab us food and come over to your place.”

They talked about what he would bring for lunch and how their families were doing and hung up.

Tessa’s phone pinged a few seconds later and there was a photo of Scott showing off his partially-finished tile job. He had a goofy grin and his hair was growing out. He looked fit and happy. Her heart skipped a little and she wasn’t sure why. She found herself grinning back at his photo. He still made her smile. She texted a smiley face emoji and a construction worker. 

  


******

Tessa straightened the vase of peonies sitting on the island. She checked the clock on her microwave. Scott would be arriving soon. She wasn’t sure why she felt so nervous. They hadn’t seen each other in six months, but they had gone for long absences before, the normal ebb and flow of their relationship. Her doorbell rang.

”Hello!” She flung open the screen door, a little more enthusiastically than she meant.

”It’s meeeee you’re looking for!” He sang back to her.

A giggle escaped out of her as he wiped his sneakers on the mat and stepped into the entryway. He placed the bag of food on the floor and looked at her.

She reached her arms out and they hugged. She squeezed him tighter and he reciprocated.

”Missed you, Kiddo. So much.”

”Missed you so much, too.”

He pulled back and gave her a once over. She looked good; rested and beautiful. Isolation agreed with her. Everything agreed with her. Except falling for him. 

”You look great.”

”So do you.” She reached up and ran her hand through his waves. “Growing it out?”

”Eh, haven’t had a chance to get a haircut so I’m letting it do its thing.“

”Come on in, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

Scott untied his shoes and left them at the door and followed Tessa to the kitchen. He placed the brown takeout bag on the island and emptied it while Tessa grabbed plates.

”Want water? Or?”

”Water’s good.”

She filled glasses and snuck a look at him. He was wearing a faded Hip t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. Same old Scott. 

He opened a container and dumped some fries onto the lid of her salad container. She smiled fondly at the decades-old tradition. A pang shot through her heart as she thought about their fans and the horrible things they said about him and their relationship. She understood their frustration, but it all went too far. She didn’t know how to address it publicly without sounding like she was reprimanding them. Of course, their relationship had changed. But, he wasn’t cruel or abusive. He had a new woman in his life and he was being respectful to her. Their lives had taken different turns. She wanted to pursue sponsorships and business deals. He wanted to coach and settle down. The only incident she could place blame on him for was not telling her he was engaged. He had apologized. And, they both knew why he kept it from her. He was protecting her. It was another decades-old tradition.

If the fans only knew how many times Scott called her to congratulate her on a new sponsorship or professional accomplishment. He was her third call right after her mom and Jordan when Barbie wanted to honor her with a doll. She didn’t know who was more excited between the two of them. His robust ‘yeehaw’ and whoops of joy filled her heart. 

Every nasty tweet, every snide remark, every cruel joke at his expense—they did nothing but shame her. Did they think she would have spent 22 years by this man’s side if he was abusive? She was not that weak nor did she think that little of herself. Some of it she had to laugh at and some of it made her cry. Her least favorite fan narrative: she was perfect. She wasn’t. Far from it. She made mistakes. Her biggest one happened after the Olympics. 

All the years being told not to fall in love with each other, to tamp down ‘non-partnerly’ feelings, and believing their own excuses they were very different people off-ice, all of that came to a head.

Because it’s hard not to fall for the person you trust more than anyone else in the world. 

Neither wanted to admit it. Instead, they dealt with their feelings by flirting and touching and dancing around it, literally. The comeback was a playground ripe with innuendos and a chemistry that left everyone wondering about the nature of their off-ice relationship. Then, at the PyeongChang games after three steamy, romantic performances, came a near-kiss on the gold medal podium and a playful answer by Scott as to the status of their relationship, all of which only encouraged speculation.

She and Scott raised the heat level during the ‘Stars on Ice’ tour with smoldering looks and wandering hands. They destroyed scripted choreography and went all in, prompting more than a few exasperated side glances from Jeffrey Buttle and their cast mates, not to mention the fans. From her fake proposal in Hamilton to Scott’s inability to keep his hands off her body, the fairytale ending seemed imminent.

Off ice, it wasn’t any less fraught with fiery implications. Scott supposedly telling a fan ‘he had to get back to Tessa’ after playing in a charity hockey game and Tessa posting a photo of sexy lingerie on that same day. Breakfast dates at ‘The Bag Lady’. The Great Canadian Kitchen Party trip which started off with their own little sightseeing adventure for two. 

While they both refused to acknowledge their feelings in a direct and meaningful way to each other, it was obvious there was a shift and a seismic one at that. But, Tessa’s inability to slow down and take stock of her life would prove to be her undoing. She was tense all of the time, she was stressed, and she was starting to fray. Scott tried so hard to help keep her together. In the end, it wasn’t enough.

Now, they were both happy. Scott found love and was ready to commit in the greatest way possible to another human being. And, for the first time, she felt that way about her own life. Morgan felt right. But, life has a funny way of taking your plans and upending them.

”So how’s school prep going?”

”It’s going.” She speared a piece of salad. “I hate math.”

”I know you do.”

”You were always better at it.” She admitted.

”You’re better at Literature. English. French. Like literally everything else.”

”I’m also funnier.”

”Not so fast there, Virtch.”

She giggled.

”Actually, I did pretty well with Stats. I surprised myself. I mean I’m never gonna love it, but it wasn’t too bad.”

”Good for you.”

”So, how’s the bathroom? Did you finish tiling?”

”I did. Here—“ He slipped his phone out of his pocket and showed her photos.

He had done a great job. The tile was something she would have chosen. Simple gray extra-large rectangles. The vanity was white Shaker cabinets and two under-mounted sinks. 

”It looks so good, Scott.”

”Thanks.”

”I’m impressed. But, you’ve always been pretty good with your hands.”

Scott raised his eyebrows at her.

Tessa playfully rolled her eyes. ”How far along are you with coaching certification?”

”I have a few more tests to take, but I really need to get more on-ice hours. Paul Mac was gonna help with that, but with the rinks closed, that’s obviously on hold.”

”Have you thought more about Mike’s offer with Skate Canada?”

”It’s a really great offer but it also means a lot of travel and if we want…” His voice trailed off.

”It’s not a family-friendly job.” She finished.

”Yeah. And, then Patrice called before Worlds.”

”To coach?”

”Yeah, he wanted to pitch me again when we came to Montreal. Zach and Marjorie.”

”Would you ever consider it?”

”Jackie doesn’t want to live in Montreal. Besides, I’m not sure I’m ready for a team like that. They’re Seniors.”

”Nonsense. You’d be an excellent coach for them. You have a keen insight and unique perspective. They’d benefit tremendously from you.”

He blushed a little and fiddled with his sandwich.

”Maybe. What about you? When you start school, will you still do all your sponsorship stuff?”

”I’ve told Russell I want to ease up a bit. But, I do have some new projects.”

”And, will you—“ He scratched the back of his neck. “—make Toronto your home base?”

Her eyes landed on his flexed jaw, a telltale sign he was holding back. 

”It makes sense. For Morgan and me.”

”Yeah. I mean he might just put a ring on it.”

”I don’t think we’re quite there yet.”

She noticed his jaw relax.

They spent the next few hours catching up. It always amazed her how quickly they fell back into a rhythm.

  


”Do you need to get home right away?” Tessa asked as she checked the time.

”Nope. Jackie works that overnight shift so I’m usually just alone watching Netflix. Why?”

”Wanna go for a walk? Get out and get some fresh air? And, maybe you could stay for dinner?”

”Sure.”

  


For the third time in 30 minutes, Jackie texted Scott. She silently cursed her fiancé’s lack of ability to communicate. It was 5:15 and there was no way he could still be at Tessa’s. Especially given what was going on in London and the surrounding areas. She sighed and finished drying her hair for work.

Tessa unlocked her door. “So, I’ll get the wine and you decide what’s for dinner. Though, my vote is for Thai.”

”So, we’re having Thai is what you’re saying.”

Tessa’s phone rang.

”Hi Mum.”

Scott could hear Tessa telling Kate they had gone for a walk when she suddenly let out an alarmed half-shout about a lockdown.

He quickly headed to the kitchen to find Tessa wide-eyed. She held up a finger and mouthed that she was okay.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He slipped it out and saw his mom was calling. The coincidence couldn’t be a good sign.

”Scott? Where are you?”

”At Tessa’s.”

”Have you seen the news?”

”We went for a walk. What happened?”

”Mayor Holder declared a shelter-in-place order in London for two weeks. Mayor DeViet said she’s going to do the same. No one can leave their homes.“

”Starting when?”

”Now. It’s in effect now.”

”So what does that mean?”

”It means you should have been home 32 minutes ago, Scott.”

Tessa was arguing with her mother that Scott could drive home because who in their right mind would arrest Scott Moir in Ilderton.

”You better head out, see if maybe you can get home,” Alma pressed.

”Okay, love ya, Ma.”

He saw Jackie had texted three times. He called her back.

”Hey, did you hear about the shelter-in-place order?” She asked him.

”Yeah.”

”You’re home, right?”

”Not exactly.”

”What’s that mean?”

”I’m still at Tessa’s. We went for a walk and we just got home and we didn’t know about the order until now.”

”Great.”

”It’ll be okay.”

”How do you envision it being okay?”

”Tess thinks it might be fine if I drive home--”

She cut him off. ”Well if she says so—“

”Jackie.”

”What? It’s a frigging lockdown. Cops are gonna arrest people. We’ve had more cases at the hospital and three people died.”

Scott stayed silent letting her vent.

Jackie exhaled. ”I’m sorry, I know she’s just trying to help. I’m not mad at her. I’m just worried and exhausted. Maybe she’s right and you can get home or at least to your parents? Just-- be safe and _please_ don’t get arrested.”

”I won’t.”

”Okay, I need to finish getting ready for work. I love you. I’ll check in later.”

”Love you, too.”

Tessa waited for Scott to finish his call, she knew Jackie wasn’t happy and she couldn’t blame her. She was working an overnight shift and had been away from her fiancé and surrounded by so much sadness every day.

”Do you want to try to drive home?” Tessa tried to size up what he was thinking.

”Might as well.”

He grabbed his keys, threw on his sneakers without bothering to tie them and they headed outside. He hugged her tightly and promised to call when he arrived home. He pressed the disarm button on his key fob and opened the door to his SUV and started to slide inside.

”Scott. Scott. Scott!”

He glanced up at her as the siren sharply blared in three quick bursts. He turned towards the street as the police car pulled in front of the driveway, blocking him from leaving.

”Good evening folks.”

Tessa walked over to Scott’s side.

”Good evening officers,” Scott politely responded.

”You do know the town’s on lockdown.”

”Yeah, uh. I don’t live here. I live in Denton. I was just gonna head home, I swear. You could escort me if you wanted to. Or I could go to my parents in Ilderton. I’m really sorry.”

”I’m sorry, too. Can’t do it. It’s 5:45.”

”We didn’t know about the order until 30 minutes ago. Maybe you could make an exception?” Tessa asked sweetly.

”We can’t. We’re under strict orders.” The cop relaxed his stance. “Here’s the thing, this looks like a very nice house. A couple of weeks inside of it won’t be such a bad scenario. What would be a bad scenario is if we had to arrest an Olympic gold medallist. Or two.”

So they did recognize them. Tessa sighed.

Scott nodded, “Okay.”

The second officer looked at Scott. “Sir—we’ll be patrolling this neighborhood every couple of hours. If we don’t see your car here the next time we come by or any time we come by, we will find you and arrest you. Trust me; jail is not as nice as hanging with her.” He gestured towards Tessa.

The police officers drove off leaving Tessa and Scott in the middle of her driveway.

”Shit. Sorry, Scott.”

”It’s fine. It’s not your fault, T.” He clucked his tongue. “So, two weeks? Guess I need to order some underwear. Can I borrow your laptop?”

Tessa barked out a laugh, “Yes. Order your underwear and then we can make dinner.”

  


”Tessa how do you literally have no food?”

”I have food. I went shopping a few days ago.”

Scott waved his hand in front of her open pantry. “You have chocolate bars, tea, and a can of tomato soup. Not even the chefs on Chopped could make this into something.”

”I also have pasta and a jar of sauce.” She replied indignantly.

”How old is the sauce?”

”I don’t know. It has an expiration date?”

”Everything has an expiration date.”

”No, seriously? Pasta sauce has an expiration date?”

Scott lifted the jar out and turned it around looking for the date.

”December.”

”See, it’s still good.”

”2018.”

”No. I don’t believe you.”

He handed her the jar.

”Is it a hard date? I mean like is it more of a guideline perhaps?”

”No, it’s a hard date. No perhaps.” He jokingly shook his head at her.

”I do have a few ‘Hello Fresh’ meals in the fridge.”

”And how old are those? From 2013?”

”No, smart ass. I ordered them the other day.” She opened her refrigerator. He slipped in beside her as she began pulling items out.

”Whatcha got?”

”Skirt skate tacos. I mean, skirt steak tacos.” She laughed at the tongue-twister. “Grilled veggie burrito bowls. Or grilled fish tacos with a mango slaw.”

”Sensing a theme here… how about fish tacos?”

”Mmm. Yum.”

Scott organized the food pouches and leaned the recipe card against an earthenware bowl on the island. 

”Okay, I’ll do the fish. You handle the slaw.”

Tessa mewled.

”Are you seriously gonna make me cook everything? What happened to the whole ‘I’m learning to cook in quarantine’.”

”You know cooking’s not my thing.” She shot him a pouty look.

Scott gave exaggerated looks over his shoulder. “Do you see Rielly around here? I’m sure that shit works on him. Not me. You gotta earn your dinner.”

”He knows I have other skills. Things I’m good at.”

”I’m sure he does.” He winked and handed her the scissors to open the slaw bag.

She sighed. “Fine. But, I’m sure I’ll mess up this slaw.”

”It’s slaw, Tess. You can’t mess it up. Everything is pre-measured. Read the instructions.” He pointed at the recipe card.

”You’re lucky I like you or I’d kick you out of my kitchen.”

”And then you’d starve.” He bopped her on the nose.

Tessa fired up her indoor portable speaker and put on some music. She danced around the kitchen island and announced music made her a better cook. 

Scott cut open the seal on the fish pack and rinsed them off and patted them dry. He got out a skillet and turned the gas burner on and added the two tablespoons grapeseed oil provided.

”We need margaritas,” Tessa remarked.

”Finish the slaw and I’ll make the margaritas.”

Scott fixed up a batch of margaritas and handed one to Tessa. He grabbed his glass and reached across the space.

”To?”

”Staying at home with friends,” she proposed.

”Quarantine. Virtue-Moir style.”

They clinked glasses and each took a sip.

”Can I ask you a question?” She looked at him over the rim of her glass.

”Boxers.”

”I know that.”

”You know that _now_. You didn’t know it on Ellen. 20 years of friendship T— and you got that wrong.”

”Whatever. Since when are briefs _just_ for work?”

”Because they’re briefs. They’re the workhorse of the underwear world.”

”If it’s a workhorse you’re after, you should try wearing a dance belt.”

”I do. Most of the time.”

She snorted, “The fans would argue that.”

”In my defense, I think Mathieu cut some of my pants weirdly. Didn’t matter if I wore two dance belts, I still looked like I had a fucking moose knuckle. Same for Poj and Max, by the way.”

”Oh, that makes sense. It was the cut of your pants and not the fact that you skipped a dance belt.”

He dodged her right foot as she tried to playfully kick him. 

”Keep that up and the foot’s mine.” He retorted as he sprinkled the spice mixture on the fish.

Tessa smirked at him behind his back and eased her foot into the air. She was inches away from her target when he whipped around. She shrieked and grabbed the edge of the counter. He was practically on top of her gripping her foot tightly to his chest.

”Scott!” She tried to be stern.

”Tessa!” He mimicked.

”Give me back my foot.”

”You gonna behave?”

He adjusted his hold and snuggled her foot in the crook of his arm. They stayed frozen just staring at each other, neither breaking eye contact. The sound of the fish popping in the pan, and Billie Eilish’s ‘Bad Guy’ thumping around the room. Reality danced across them. He dropped his hand to his side. She slowly dragged her leg back.

”You should finish the slaw.” His voice edgy and full of nerves.

She nodded and dumped the mango on top of the shredded cabbage. She grabbed a lime wedge and added the juice. She tucked her hair behind her ear and noticed her hand was shaking. She admonished herself. They hadn’t done anything wrong. She jumped when she felt his hand on the small of her back.

”Sorry. I just need a lime wedge.”

She smiled and stirred the slaw ingredients. 

”Might be easier with tongs?”

He opened her utensil drawer and pulled a pair out.

She pulled the rubber circle at the bottom and they sprang open and she tossed the slaw.

”How’s it taste?” He asked.

They reached their fingers into the bowl and snagged some. 

”Mmmm. Good.” She nodded.

”Sure is. Look at you, champion slaw maker.”

She placed the bowl in the refrigerator and headed to her living space off the kitchen. ”Do you want ‘Office’ reruns or ‘Modern Family’ or something new while we eat?”

”Surprise me.”

She flipped the television on and sank down onto her comfortable grey sectional.

What was wrong with her? With him? With them? It’s like they couldn’t help themselves. Innocent teasing turned into carnal undertones in the blink of an eye. Madison Hubbell called her on it once.

They had been at Gadbois for about six months. Marie-France and Patrice had an exercise where at the start of a group warm-up, they would have teams switch partners. She and Scott refused to, telling Marie-France and Patrice they didn’t see how it would benefit them. 

_”What’s the deal with you and Scott? Why don’t you ever switch partners?”_

_”I don’t know. Why switch?”_

_”Zach and I used to be like that. When we were fucking each other’s brains out. Now, I don’t give a shit.”_

_”I like skating with Scott. I don’t want to skate with anyone else. And, he feels the same way.”_

_”I’ve noticed. He also doesn’t like any guys talking to you either. Really staking his claim.”_

_”It’s not like that. Zach and you are protective of your partnership, too.”_

_”Yeah, our work partnership. Not our ‘partner’-ship. Tessa, every time you’re on the ice, you and Scott look like you want to fuck, have already fucked, or are thinking about fucking.”_

  


”What did you decide on?” He popped into the doorframe.

”How come you never wanted to skate with anyone else?”

Scott wiped his hands on a dish towel. “Is this a trick question?”

”When we were at Gadbois, and Marie-France and Patch wanted everyone to switch partners at practice. We always said no.”

”Because. Why would I skate with anyone else? You’re my partner.”

”It was just a warm-up.”

”Why didn’t you want to skate with someone else?”

”Madi said—“

He cut her off, “Madi’s a shit-stirrer. I love her, but the girl’s hardly the poster child for healthy relationships. She and Zach raged fucked for years and now they’re doing some weird menage-a-quatre with Adrian and Olivia.”

Tessa couldn’t stop laughing. He was right. Even if he was butchering the French language. She certainly didn’t understand how the foursome made it work.

”I didn’t like holding anyone else’s hand on ice,” his voice barely a whisper.

”Wha-t?” Her giggles dying down.

”I only wanted to hold your hand. You’re the reason I skated in the first place. Maybe it was me being an asshole, but I didn’t like the idea of another guy getting to share the ice with you.” He fidgeted with the towel. “You know all this. We went over it with J-F. Whether I was super nervous or hyper, once you put your hand in mine, everything just slowed down.”

Scott looked down at the towel and shrugged. ”I didn’t even like it on tour when we’d have to switch partners. It never felt right. Skating with Kaitlyn or K-O or Megan. Chiddy said it was like I was Goldilocks. Too hot, too cold. Tessa’s just right.”

”Love that Patrick compares me to a bowl of porridge.”

”Dude’s an asshole, eh.”

They both laughed at the absurdity that their friend could be anything but kind-hearted.

Scott watched Tessa as she laughed, the setting sun making her green eyes almost glow and highlighting the smattering of freckles down the bridge of her nose. Her nose she had fixed. A nose he thought was perfectly fine. Her new one always gave her a ‘cute-as-a-button’ appearance. He didn’t try to talk her out of the surgery. He always thought she was beautiful. As she approached her twenties, she lost her ‘innocent little girl’ look and gradually morphed into the gorgeous woman sitting in front of him. He loved this Tessa, makeup-free and carefree. A laugh always on the surface ready to bubble up. His heart twisted and turned. She still owned him. He would never be able to wash her off him. Even in his most intimate moments with Jackie, he sometimes thought about Tessa and he felt like the world’s biggest jerk. 

He loved Jackie. They made sense. The engagement had been a shit show of epic proportions. He didn’t regret it though. His mother was so angry. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Jackie; she just thought it was all too sudden. He could still hear the slightly deflated way she congratulated them. His dad told him to make sure this was what he wanted. The less than enthusiastic response only made him dig his heels in and refuse to budge.

”You know what I miss?” She stared blankly at the television screen.

”What’s that?”

”6am practices in a grungy rink. Just you and me.”

He twisted the towel around his hand and let it go.

”Is that weird?” She asked, looking for affirmation.

”No.”

”I loved the quietness. Just our blades on the ice. We didn’t have to say anything. We just knew what the other was thinking.”

”Yeah. I’ve never had that with anyone else, where I just know what they’re thinking. Like a superpower.”

”I’m sure you have that with Jackie.”

”Kinda. I mean I know how she’s gonna feel about something. I know her likes and dislikes. I’m getting to know more about her every day. But, I don’t think I’ll ever know anyone the way I know you.” He laughed a little.

”Yeah. Like you said, I know Morgan’s likes and dislikes. I just was thinking how I’ve spent nearly my entire life with you. I could tell people your intimate, private thoughts. The ones that are buried way below the surface. But, I couldn’t tell them what music you’re listening to right now or what you had for breakfast today.”

”F-G-L and Eric Church, whatever Jackie plays. Bowl of Raisin Bran.”

Tessa’s phone rang from the kitchen. She got up to answer it. Scott could hear her talking. Her voice sounded sweet and loving. It had to be Morgan. He stepped down and into the living area and took her space on the couch, still warm. On the television, Phil and Claire were on a Valentine’s Day date, pretending to be strangers hooking up at a hotel bar. Their alter-egos, Clive and Juliana. The irony.

”It’s not a big deal.”

Scott lowered the volume as he heard the change in Tessa’s tone. Pangs of guilt swirled in his stomach, but he couldn’t stop himself from eavesdropping. He wanted to know.

”Are you mad?”

Scott winced.

”I miss you too. I’ll tell him.”

Her voice dropped lower and Scott could only make out a few words. He didn’t want to interrupt her conversation, but he also didn’t want their dinner to burn.

”Scott? The fish.”

He walked into the kitchen. Her phone was face down on the island and she was holding a spatula for him.

He lifted the edge of a piece and checked it. He flipped the pieces over.

”Everything okay?” He tried to sound casual.

”Yeah. Morgan had a bad practice. And, he’s worried about us.”

Scott was worried too. Worried about Jackie. Telling her he was stuck at Tessa’s would not be easy. She wasn’t a jealous woman, but she certainly wasn’t going to like the idea of him being at Tessa’s for two weeks. Past girlfriends had not understood his relationship with Tessa and it caused trouble. He had separated himself from Tessa once he and Jackie became serious; it was a necessary move for the health of their relationship. He still hadn’t figured out how to have a life partner and Tessa at the same time. He might not ever.

”He knows I’m a terrible cook but I told him you’ve got it handled. He said to tell you, hi.”

Scott’s focus turned back to Tessa as he realized Morgan wasn’t implying anything. Of course, he wasn’t worried about Scott and Tessa being alone for two weeks. He was confident in his relationship and trusted Tessa and by proxy, Scott. Morgan knew Scott was engaged and Tessa was not that kind of woman. But, for a split second, he liked the idea of the star hockey player jealous of him and _that_ worried him. 

Tessa grabbed two plates out of the cabinet and forks. Scott placed four soft corn tortillas in the microwave. The whir of the machine’s fan brought memories flooding back of Montreal and cheat days.

  


_December 2016_

”I love pasta bake.” Tessa enthusiastically announced as Scott cut the top off the bag of shredded mozzarella.

”I know. Your favorite cheat meal.”

”Favorite cheat meal you make. I’d actually kill for that chocolate verrine from Foxy.” She tapped his butt with her foot. “Extra cheese, please.”

He swatted behind him. ”Watch it or I won’t give you the surprise I have for you.”

”A surprise? Is it chocolate?”

Scott ignored her prying and set the timer. “It’ll be ready in 35 minutes. I have to do some work for Paul on the shop, if you’re okay with that.”

”That’s fine. I brought my laptop. I have to finish approving some stuff for Hillberg and Berk.”

They settled down on the couch with their computers. Within minutes Scott’s phone vibrated three times in quick succession.

”Ya wanna get that?” Tessa asked without looking up from her computer.

”It’s fine. It can wait.”

His phone vibrated again.

”Scott. Maybe it’s your mom?”

”It’s not.”

Another buzz.

Tessa looked at him. He kept typing.

”Who is it?”

”It’s Lindsay.”

”From B2Ten? What does she need?”

He gave her a look.

”I thought we agreed.”

”We agreed we wouldn’t date anyone seriously. We’re not dating.”

”I can leave—“

”You’re not leaving Virtch, it’s fine. I told you, we’re not dating.”

His phone vibrated.

”Does she know that?”

Scott’s phone rang.

”You need to answer that. Don’t be rude.”

He sighed. “Hello.”

Tessa continued to work while Scott explained to Lindsay he wouldn’t be able to see her because he was spending a quiet evening at home. At first he left out the quiet evening involved Tessa, but once he mentioned her, Tessa could hear the anger pouring out of the other woman. Significant others, friends with benefits, one-night stands, even family and friends. It didn’t matter. No one understood Tessa and Scott. He hung up with a clear understanding that Lindsay would no longer be coming around because she didn’t enjoy just being a “fuck buddy” and “maybe his partner could ride his cock”. Their next session at B2Ten would be awkward, to say the least.

Tessa peered at him over her glasses.

”Stop judging me.”

”Stop eating where you shit.”

Scott flinched. A common misconception was Tessa never cursed. In fact, she did. It always sounded funny coming out of her mouth, but she cursed as much as anybody else. 

”I told her what it was.”

”If you need to get off so badly, go to a bar and pick someone up. Please stop trolling the hallways of our off-ice performance team headquarters.”

”Some of us can’t use a vibrator.”

”Don’t be a dick to me because you screwed up.”

”I’m not.”

”And, just so you know, I manage without a vibrator.”

Scott stopped typing. Tessa was seeing someone and he had no idea. She never mentioned anyone. Not that they talked about that sort of thing, but he figured he would have noticed.

”Who is it?”

”A guy.”

”I assumed. What’s his name? Where’d you meet him?”

”It doesn’t matter.”

”Does he have a friend for me?” Scott joked hoping to lighten the mood. His classic move when Tessa was angry. Make her laugh.

”He’s part of the Young Philanthropists Circle. He’s an architect.”

”Huh. Good for you.”

”He’s 35 and divorced. No kids. We’re done, though.”

”Why?”

”Because he felt like I was using him. We’ve gone to dinner a few times. But, mostly I just go to his place and get what I need. And, I guess that’s not enough for him.” She shrugged her shoulders.

”I’m sorry.” His tone conciliatory.

”For what?”

”I shouldn’t have slept with Lindsay. It was easy. But, it was wrong.”

Tessa nodded. Had she given it more thought, she would have realized the resemblance between her and Lindsay. Dark hair, green eyes, and pale skin. Not Scott’s usual type. Had he given it more thought, Scott would have revealed the reason he picked Tessa’s doppelgänger. It was the only way he knew to get her out of his dreams. Dreams that had plagued him for 18 years.

After cleaning up their dinner plates, Scott returned to the couch with a small box and two spoons.

”I got this for you today.” He handed her the box.

She immediately recognized the black takeout container.

”Ohhhh!” She squealed at the chocolate and hazelnut verrine from Foxy.

Scott grinned like a little boy. The same grin that had enchanted her since they were seven and nine years old and he surprised her with a Marvin the Martian pillow for their long car rides or the flower at the Ilderton Fair, or the follow-up kiss, or the bucket of rice she held so dear, or the countless ‘just-because-it’s-Tuesday’ cards, and all of the other ways he made her feel special.

”Thank you.”

”Of course, Virtch Dog.”

She smiled at him and felt that familiar tug. But, she bit her lip and he quickly broke eye contact and looked down at the dessert. And once again, their moment slipped from their grasp.

  


Scott woke up and stretched his arms over his head. It was dark and the television was on. He looked around and was momentarily confused as to his location. He fisted his eyes and stretched again. His foot hit a soft mound. Tessa was on her back, mouth slightly open, gently snoring. If their fans could see their perfect princess now, he laughed.

The clock on the PVR read 11:30. He swung his feet to the floor and sat for a second before pushing himself up. He shuffled into the kitchen and checked his phone. A text from Jackie telling him she loved him. He texted her the same and told her he was heading to bed. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard.

_Change of plans. Couldn’t get home. Am at Tessa’s. All’s good. I love you. Call me._

”Hey—“

Scott pressed send and looked over at a sleepy Tessa. Hair falling out of the bun, eyes half-closed, and her t-shirt riding up exposing a sliver of her stomach.

”Hey… we should probably go to bed.”

”Yeah. Let me set the alarm. Do you need a glass of water or anything?” She asked as she walked past him.

”I got it. Go lock up.”

Scott waited for Tessa and handed her a glass of water and followed her up the stairs. She stopped at a small closet in the hallway and gave him towels.

”The bed’s made. I’ll get you a toothbrush.”

”Thanks.”

The guest bedroom was inviting and relaxing. The bedframe Tessa’s grandfather had built years ago that she painted white sat between two large windows. They were south-facing so the morning sun wouldn’t wake him too early. He knew how comfortable the mattress was from all the nights he had spent there. He set the alarm on his phone. He pulled his shirt off and his shorts and dropped them on an upholstered chair in the corner.

”Oh sorry. I didn’t know you were—“

”It’s fine.” He turned around.

Tessa allowed herself more than a passing glance. His lean, sinewy muscles had turned to solid, thicker ones. His chest was broad and he had the faint outline of abs. He was still hairless, except for that small trail above the waistband of his striped boxers. The vee-shaped muscles he had in PyeongChang were back, sort of. The curves of his biceps were prominent. But, it was his hands that always nearly undid her and it was still true.

Despite years of tours with quick change rooms where they shimmied in and out of costumes and their trips to Miss Pat their seamstress and eventually Mathieu, Tessa had never really seen Scott fully unclothed and he could say the same about her. She wasn’t sure bathing suits counted.

But, she could describe the feel of the rise and dips of his muscles under her hands like a topographer recreating a mountain range, the softness of his hair as she carded through it, and most of all, the tantalizing feeling of his hands sliding all over her body, her breasts, her abs, squeezing her inner thighs, his mouth inches away from her most private area. Her friends would ask and she would always answer, it was their job to touch. It didn’t mean anything. In the beginning, as young kids—touching one another was an awkward dance of prepubescent emotions. As they became older, the touches felt more routine, grounding. At the end, she craved his hands on her, used it to her advantage with the judges and the crowd and to satisfy something inside of her. A full-body frisk during practice by him or a gentle rub of his ear by her at the end of a pose said more than they ever could. Touch was how they communicated. And, their conversations were legendary.

”I don’t have any extra toothpaste so you’ll have to come borrow mine. But, I have an extra phone charger and some soap for your shower. And, shampoo and conditioner. I can probably find a t-shirt or sweats for you, if you want.”

”Nah, I’m good. Just let me know when I can brush my teeth.”

”Okay.”

Scott put his towels and toiletries in the guest bathroom. He peed and washed his hands and face.

”I’m ready,” She called to him.

Scott clutched his hand towel and toothbrush as he tentatively entered Tessa’s room. It felt strange, almost like an intrusion. 

She was leaning over the counter applying eye cream. He watched her from the doorframe. Her back muscles flexing in the thin tank top, her butt cheeks barely covered by the pajama shorts.

She slid the toothpaste tube towards him as she patted under her eye with her ring finger.

He squirted some out and quickly ran the brush under water.

Tessa went through the same routine. They watched each other in the mirror, both foaming at the mouth. Tessa started to giggle. Scott shook his head and tried not to laugh. 

”Ooofhf!” She giggled and held her hand under her mouth to catch the falling toothpaste.

Streaks of white foam dropped onto Scott’s bare chest. He scooped them off with his pointer and dumped them in the sink. He rinsed his mouth out.

He gave her an enormous grin showing off his teeth and she rolled her eyes. 

”So...” She spit and rinsed her mouth. “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

He leaned against the counter. “I dunno, what do you feel like?”

”If you wanna work out, the Peloton’s in the basement. And, the treadmill. Jordan’s teaching a barre class at 10:00. You could do that with me, if you want. I have some work I need to do. Really, it’s up to you.”

”Okay. I’ll probably hop on the Peloton first thing in the morning, as I’m sure I’ll be up before you. I need a few things so I’ll have to borrow your laptop again. Other than that, I’m up for anything. You don’t have to entertain me.”

”Sounds good. We’ll just play it by ear.”

”I’ll be here.” He leaned in and pulled her to him for a hug. “Sleep well, T.” He kissed the top of her head.

He crawled into bed missing the feeling of Jackie curled next to him. He pulled the covers up and laid in the dark thinking about the next two weeks.

Tessa opened her laptop and waited for it to power up.

She typed an email to her contact at addidas and explained the situation and provided sizes. On Amazon, she bought some puzzles and then ordered a few books from Indigo and meals from Hello Fresh including the steak dishes Scott loved. She closed the laptop with a satisfied click and picked up her book to read for a few minutes, but her mind kept drifting back to Scott.

These next two weeks would either break them or change them. There was no in between.


	2. Can't Help Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __
> 
> Tessa and Scott settle into the rhythm of isolating together, but not everyone is happy about the arrangement.  
> Scott makes a surprise purchase that reminds Tessa of a special trip.  
> And, a blockbuster confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments...  
> You sure know how to make a gal feel special.
> 
> Thanks to Rook for giving this the thumbs up...
> 
> I look forward to reading your comments on this chapter.  
> It really is such a pleasure writing for you...

If anyone asked Scott Moir what he remembered about that moment, it wouldn’t be the deafening roar of the crowd, or the bright lights, or the flood of adrenaline that coursed through his body. 

It would be Tessa.

Her green eyes shining with tears of elation, her hands tinged red from the cold and exertion covering the smile taking over her face. How her body felt pressed against his when he finally regained the use of his legs and skated back to her and scooped her up in his arms. Her breath in hot bursts against his ear as he whispered how proud he was of her, to be able to do with this her, and finishing with ‘we did it, Kiddo’.

On the podium as they waited for their gold medals, his arm wrapped around her waist as she clutched the small white tiger, Soohorang, a souvenir of their efforts, he looked into her eyes—with pride and love-- and leaned towards her. She leaned back and away. 

Their fans speculated for years about that missed gesture. He didn’t even know he had done it. Until his friend Dave, who had made the trip from Ilderton to Korea, brought it up that night when they were partying at the Dutch House.

”What’s going on with you and Tessa?” Dave asked as he took a swig from his cup.

”Nothing—why?”

”Looked like you were goin’ for it. Ya know when you were getting your medals.” He eyed Scott suspiciously in the way good friends do when they know the answer is bullshit.

”What are you talking about?”

”Look, I know you say you and Tessa aren’t like that. And, she’s not your type. Because gorgeous and smart is not your type. But, maybe she is.”

_  
_

******

__

_  
_

Scott pushed harder, his leg muscles burning from the routine created by some woman named Lia, who was encouraging him and the roughly 16-thousand other Peloton-enthusiasts to dig deep and ride through the fire. He pedaled like he was running away from something. Or perhaps he was riding towards something. Rather than feel like a cliché, he focused on breakfast. He thought he had seen frozen fruit in Tessa’s freezer and protein powder in the pantry. He had ten more minutes left in this ride to hell.

__

Two flights above him, Tessa lay in her bed. She grabbed her phone and checked her messages. A text from Morgan saying he missed and loved her and he would be busy most of the day and would try to FaceTime her later. 

__

She texted back a heart emoji. She heard clanging in the kitchen and for a split second thought someone had broken in before she realized it was Scott. She had managed to finally fall asleep at one am, but not before she made a list in her head of the pros and cons of her and Scott isolating together. The pro list was much longer and that troubled her but not as much as it should have, if she was being honest. 

__

She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and checked herself in the mirror. She redid her bun and then swiped on some clear lip gloss for the simple reason her lips were dry and not all because of the man currently making a ruckus in her kitchen. 

__

”Good morning.”

__

”Morning sleepyhead.”

__

She smelled sweat and the edges of his hair were damp. “Did you ride the Peloton?”

__

”I did. Someone named Lia led the bike ride to hell. She hurt me, T. Can we sue?”

__

Tessa giggled as she watched him scoop protein powder into her blender. ”Oh, she’s tough. How’d you do?”

__

”I’m alive.”

__

She raised an eyebrow.

__

”1,204. Out of 16-thousand. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Guess math-wise it’s not bad, like top 10 percent.”

__

”It’s good. Very good.”

__

”I’m making a smoothie. I wasn’t sure if you liked to eat before Barre class.”

__

”I do.”

__

”I found some frozen berries and this protein powder. All you have is almond milk though. Where’s the regular milk?”

__

”I prefer almond. Sorry.” She scrunched her nose.

__

He pressed the button and the Vitamix sprang to life. She wondered if he planned on doing the barre class with her. When she invited him last night, she hadn’t clearly thought it through. Jordan liked her students to keep their cameras turned on during the class so she could correct them, if necessary. That meant if he joined her, the class would see him. 

__

”Are you going to do Jordan’s class?”

__

”It’s not really my thing, but I got nothing else to do so I thought I’d try it out. Is that cool?” He handed her a glass.

__

”Ye-ah. Sounds great.” She sipped. The smoothie was the perfect blend of berries with no chemical taste of the protein powder. His kitchen skills were very much appreciated after three months of takeout and her and Morgan’s feeble attempts at cooking. 

__

Scott leaned back against the counter. ”So prepare me. Like how hard is it? On a scale from one to Olympic conditioning class where does it fall?”

__

She thought for a second. “Hmmm. Remember the time Mike got mad at us for joking around that his rope training wasn’t all that hard. And, we had to do those power sprints and burpees. Two minute drills?”

__

”I’m out.”

__

”No, no. It’s not quite that bad. It’s maybe a few levels below that. It’s really more about balance and engaging muscles you haven’t in a long time. You’ll be fine. Though, you did just do the Peloton so I’m not exactly sure if-“

__

”Eh, if I can’t hang, I’ll go watch tv. Or you. Hey, can I borrow your laptop real quick?”

__

”Sure.” She chose to ignore the idea that he had suggested watching her work out.

__

Scott ordered a few items from Amazon and placed a delivery order from Loblaw’s. If he was spending two weeks with Tessa, he would need something besides smoothies and poached eggs. 

_  
_

__

******

__

_  
_

”Now if you get tired or it’s not your thing…” Tessa turned on the television hanging on a wall in her basement.

__

”T, I’m fine.”

__

”Jordan can be a bit bossy.”

__

”I’m well aware of how bossy the Virtue sisters are.”

__

”I’m not bossy.” Tessa snapped as she opened the zoom session on her laptop and it appeared on the television screen.

__

”Excuse me, I meant persuasive.”

__

Tessa side-eyed him and was about to disagree again when Jordan popped up. 

__

”Good morning everyone. I’m Jordan for those of you who don’t know me. I’ll be teaching today’s class. So, I think I see a few new faces.” She scanned the boxes and landed on Tessa and Scott. Her eyes widened slightly and Tessa gave her a ‘don’t say a word’ smile as Scott waved at her enthusiastically.

__

Halfway through the hour long session, Scott was ready to call mercy. He was drenched in sweat and his thighs were shaking. He was convinced Jordan was not an attorney, but some kind of Black Ops agent whose specialty was torture. At least Tessa was also sweating. And not her typical glow, but actual droplets on her chest and her back.

__

Two years after the Olympics she was still in great shape. Her stomach was flat, her abs still pronounced, although her breasts had definitely filled out. She and Jackie couldn’t look more different from each other. Tessa wasn’t tall by any means, but Jackie was barely five foot. Tessa’s body was lithe from years of skating, training, and dancing. Jackie was muscular from CrossFit. Tessa had cut her hair into a bob and Jackie wore hers long. When they stood next to each other, which maybe had happened three times, Tessa was the one with the glamorous presence—always with a media-ready smile while Jackie who was very pretty, looked more like the girl next door. He definitely had a type if you looked at most of his girlfriends—light-haired, short, athletic build. The opposite of his partner. Not that he was oblivious to Tessa’s beauty. He thought she was gorgeous. He said it a lot. In interviews. To his family. To his buddies.

  
_September 2013_  
  
_Scott fired the shotgun into the air, the kickback nearly landed him on his ass. He cursed and shook his head ignoring the smart ass remarks from his friends. A weekend away from the rink and training for Sochi was exactly what he needed to recharge. 72 hours without Marina’s constant nagging, and the smug looks Meryl shot across the ice. It was a cool autumn day, perfect for a visit to his friend Corey’s farm to shoot at clay pigeons while Cassandra and her friend watched, and the production crew from the docu-series filmed it for an episode._

”If you fuck like you shoot Moir, maybe I should offer my services to Cass.” Will Carney shouted from his perch on the back of the pickup truck.

__

”Please don’t call what Scott just did shooting, Carney. It’s a fucking travesty.” Steve joined in knowing the teasing bugged Scott.

__

”Why don’t you fucknuts learn to skate, then we can have a real competition, eh?” Scott fired back.

__

”Only if that hot partner of yours is teaching.”

__

”Fuck it, Carney—you know he’ll never let that happen. Keeping Tessa all to himself. We all know why after those Sportsnet photos.” Corey teased as he loaded another shotgun cartridge and pulled back on the grip and slid it forward.

__

”Watch it. Both of you. There’s a reason I don’t bring her around you guys. You don’t know how to fucking act properly.”

__

”Did you hear that boys? We don’t know how to act around Tessa. Or maybe it’s that you don’t want us to see how _you_ act around her?” Will snapped his hips back and forth in a crude attempt to simulate sex.

__

”Fuck you-- you fucking dick. My girlfriend’s over there.” Scott whispered as he handed the gun to Steve and walked off. 

__

Scott unzipped his jeans and peed on the tall, dry grass. He loved his friends but the teasing about Tessa bugged him. It wasn’t jealousy. There was no way Tessa would date any of his friends. Tessa Virtue with a farmer? Not unless she hit her head and wound up with amnesia and stumbled into a small town like in one of those Hallmark movies that Cassandra made him watch. But, he’d discover the real reason the teasing upset him in a breakthrough session years later with his therapist. 

__

”Hey baby.” Scott pushed back Cassandra’s hair and kissed her neck.

__

”Hmm. Nice shot.” The sarcasm hit its target.

__

”I’m more of a lover than a fighter.”

__

”Yeah sure you are.” She winked.

__

”What’s Tessa doing this weekend?“ Her friend, Rebecca, asked, not bothering to disguise her dislike for a woman she never met, but considered a threat to her friend.

__

”Dunno. She said she might go golfing with her dad and brother.”

__

The rest of the group began to gather around the farm cart finished with shooting. Will tossed Scott a beer. Scott tossed it back.

__

”Can’t, Carn. Water only.”

__

”Hey Scott. If I give you my copy of Sportsnet magazine, can you get Tessa to autograph it? And none of that typical shit like ‘to my favorite fan’. I want something like ‘Scott who? Love you Tessa’. On the bikini photo.” Corey cracked open his beer.

__

Scott tensed his jaw and quietly seethed. 

__

The guys whistled and laughed. Cassandra stiffened causing Scott’s arm to fall off her shoulder. Steve shot Scott a look and raised his eyebrows. His relationship with Cassandra was in deep trouble and he couldn’t or wouldn’t see it.

__

Soon, they were loading up the trucks and Scott walked over to help Steve pack up the ammo boxes.

__

”Hey, you and Cass good?”

__

Scott nodded. “Yeah. We’re fine, why?”

__

”I dunno man. Me thinks she might have a jealousy problem.”

__

”Jealous over what?”

__

”Tessa.”

__

”She’s not. She knows what the deal is with me and Tess.”

__

”You’ve seen the photos?”

__

Scott rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

__

”And?”

__

”And what?”

__

”Scott, it’s me. We’ve been friends since first grade. Tessa looks goddamn smoking hot and you know it. Your jaw’s gonna split in two if you keep getting pissed at us teasing you.”

__

”She didn’t even tell me she was doing the shoot.” Scott admitted, sounding more put-off than he meant.

__

”Is she supposed to get your permission?”

__

”No. But, it would’ve been nice to know.”

__

”Give me those shells first.” He pointed to the box. “Why do you care?”

__

”Because we’re partners. It sucked that I found out only ‘cause you all are fucking texting me every two seconds. Denny said he wanted to be reincarnated as her bike seat. Fucking perv.”

__

”What do you think of the photos?”

__

”She looks good.” He said matter-of-factly and then paused. “Gorgeous. It’s Tess.”

__

Scott wasn’t about to admit to his friend he had stared at the photos more than he should for a guy in a relationship and in a supposedly platonic relationship with his ice dancing partner.

__

A month later he and Cassandra broke up, sort of. She still had tickets to travel to Sochi so she went and even sat with his family in the stands as he and Tessa skated to a silver medal. He barely spoke to her and even found a new girlfriend at the Games, a curler. 

__

  


__

  


”Now lie down on your back, legs slightly apart, arms relaxed and close your eyes. Let’s do a few deep breaths and remind yourself how strong you are and what you accomplished.”

__

Tessa’s fingers accidentally brushed against Scott’s. She felt him grab for her hand and she laid it in his palm. He threaded his fingers through hers and squeezed. She squeezed back. Neither said anything.

__

The rest of the day passed quickly. Dinner was grilled cheese sandwiches and beer followed by a few episodes of House Hunters and then they said goodnight and went to their respective bedrooms.

__

Tessa knew looking at the computer before she fell asleep was a bad idea, but she wasn’t tired and she kept reading the same page in her book over and over. She needed a distraction to quiet the voices in her head. Her phone buzzed as Morgan’s face popped up. 

__

”Hey…” She answered quietly.

__

”Hey baby. How are you?”

__

His hair was wet from a shower and his reddish-brown scruff made him look older than his 25 years. 

__

”Good. You? How’s practice?” She smiled.

__

”Better today. It’s weird to be on the ice with just three guys at a time but you get used to it. I’m sore, that’s for sure. I’m thinking we should’ve worked out harder that last month in Vancouver. Or at least I should’ve.” He snorted.

__

”You’ll find your footing in no time. Muscle memory’s amazing.” She tried to make him feel better.

__

”We’ll see, right? What did you do today?”

__

”Barre with Jordan. Work.”

__

”How’s Scott?”

__

”Good. He did the barre class with me.”

__

”How’d he do?”

__

”Really well, actually.”

__

Something flashed across Morgan’s face that left Tessa wondering if he was as “okay” as he claimed to be with Scott’s presence in her house.

__

”So what are you up to tomorrow?”

__

”I have to finish some work stuff. I have a call with Russell.”

__

”Be sure you take time to relax, Tessa. Just because I’m not around doesn’t mean you have to work all the time. Relaxation’s not a bad thing.”

__

”I am. I just have a few things to do, but I will make a point to take a break. I should probably go to bed. You too.” She didn’t feel tired, but rather something else she couldn’t quite explain.

__

”Okay, sleep well. Love ya.”

__

”Me too.”

__

  


__

Jackie’s shift had ended at seven pm and she had the next two days off and she needed to rid her mind of the unbearable sadness she had witnessed during the last ten hours. It was too late to call Scott and truth be told, she didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to hear about his isolation adventure with Tessa. Not when her days were drastically different, so she jumped at the chance to hang out with some of the other medical staff in a nurse’s hotel room. They ordered pizzas and alcohol. It resembled a high school party with the gallon size vodka and gin bottles and the half empty juice containers. Used red Solo cups scattered around the room leaving behind rings of condensation on the furniture and the ice melting in the bathtub under cases of half-drunk beer. Someone had put on music and it seemed like a normal hotel party and not a ‘we just survived the ER/ICU shift in the middle of a pandemic’ gathering. But, there was no missing the bruises from wearing a mask for an entire shift, the dry hands from the constant sanitizing and the bloodshot eyes from too little sleep and too much sickness and death.

__

Jackie mixed herself another vodka cranberry and stirred with her finger.

__

”Does it taste different if you use your finger and not say a… spoon or whatever people use to mix drinks?” Casey asked as he reached for the vodka.

__

”Mmmm. Kinda.” She smiled at the ER doctor.

__

”So, what do you say to eating some pizza with me?”

__

”Sure.” 

__

Jackie liked Dr. Casey Rollins—he was her age and had been assigned to the hospital from Toronto to help offset the shortage of doctors. She had worked on a few of his patients and discovered he was quick-witted, caring, and compassionate. They had eaten dinner together a few times at the hospital, standing in the small break room chatting about their lives—which in his case included a girlfriend, who was an attorney at a large firm.

__

”What do you plan to do with your days off?” He bit into his pepperoni slice.

__

”Sleep. Watch movies on my laptop. Sleep. And, sleep.”

__

”Yeah. I hear ya. So, how’s Scott? Did he finish tiling? It was the bathroom, right?”

__

”Yes. He did finish. He’s uh—he’s good. How’s Tara?”

__

”She’s good. Busy at work.”

__

Whether it was the alcohol or her exhaustion, Jackie felt more relaxed than she had in weeks. Casey understood what she was going through and somehow when he talked about the inane moments of his day it didn’t bother her, it was comforting. Like they were on the same team. She missed Scott desperately; the smell of his skin after a shower, the goofy faces he made to get her to laugh, how he always called her his life partner like they were the only members of an exclusive club. But, a part of her was having a hard time forgiving him for getting stuck at Tessa’s house.

__

”You seem distracted.” Casey tossed his paper plate onto the side table next to him. “Is it work?”

__

She shrugged her shoulders. “Personal stuff.”

__

”You don’t have to tell me. But, for the record, I am a good listener.” He sounded genuine.

__

”I know.” She paused unsure if she should trust another person with her insecurities. And, then the floodgates opened.

__

Jackie shared her discomfort over Scott’s derailed plans and having to isolate with Tessa. She was somewhat surprised to learn Casey had no idea Scott was Scott Moir of the famous Virtue-Moir duo. He confessed to watching their gold medal winning skate from PyeongChang with his girlfriend. He commented on how unbelievably talented they were, and acknowledged he thought Scott and Tessa were an item.

__

”I know there’s nothing for me to be worried about—he loves me and I love him. I know Tessa is serious about Morgan. I just—they do share a history. They have a language. They have a past.”

__

”But, you guys have a future,” Casey said quietly.

__

Jackie chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn’t thought of it that way before, it did make sense.

__

”If I may…” Casey raised his eyebrows. “I think what you’re most upset about is that it seems like Scott chose Tessa over you. He was at her house, went for the walk with her, and then wound up stuck with her. He made those choices. And, while it’s not his fault … it feels like it is. Human nature is to place blame and you want to blame someone. So you blame Scott.”

__

”Well, I can’t blame Tessa. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

__

”He didn’t either. Let me ask you this. If he was isolating right now with a buddy instead of Tessa, would you still be as upset?”

__

Jackie held her cup to her mouth and contemplated what to say. She already knew the answer, but was afraid to say it out loud.

__

”I’m not going to judge you, Jackie.”

__

”Then… no. I wouldn’t care. I can admit I care because it’s Tessa. She’s gorgeous. And she’s smart. She’s really the total package.”

__

”But, Scott and her were never a couple. So what does that tell you?”

__

”He’s a fucking idiot.” She laughed. “I don’t know. I can’t say she’s not his type. I know he loves her.”

__

”As a friend. Like a sister.”

__

”No, not like a sister. He made that very clear when we started dating. He told me most of his relationships failed because he couldn’t handle his relationship with Tessa and a relationship with a girlfriend. He feels guilty. So, he basically distanced himself from her.”

__

”And?”

__

”And, their fans hated him for it. Blamed him for ruining their partnership. And me. Said he tried to erase her from his life when in fact… I think he’s a little bit in love with her.” Tears threatened to spill over and Jackie quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand.

__

”Do you really believe that?”

__

She sniffled. ”Have you seen the way he looks at her? I know I sound so stupid. It’s just the way he looks at me…yes, it’s sweet and loving. But, the way he looks at her. It’s like he’s seeing the ocean for the first time or snow.”

__

”Are you sure you’re not seeing something you want to see—by the way, that’s pretty profound. Seeing the ocean for the first time? How many vodka-cranberries have you had?”

__

”Shut up. I read it somewhere. And, this is only my second one.” She smiled.

__

”So, I have this friend—we went to uni together and med school. Dave. And, he was best friends with this girl, Mari. They met in Orientation. She’s great. Like one of the sweetest gals. Very pretty. Come to think of it, she kinda resembles Tessa. Long dark hair, blue eyes. She and Dave were inseparable. Nothing ever happened. They just were great friends. But, their significant others never understood the friendship. We used to tease Dave all of the time. Like what was wrong with him—Mari was perfect. He always said she didn’t think of him that way. Fast forward, we’re all in med school. Mari gets this boyfriend. Dave gets a girlfriend. They’re all really serious. Like engagement serious. And, Dave starts backing off. He wants to give Mari space so she and the new boyfriend can get somewhere. Mari winds up getting engaged.”

__

”Well, that makes me feel better. It all worked out.”

__

”Not really. Mari realized she actually loved Dave and called off her engagement and she and Dave are together now. It’s a crappy example.”

__

”It’s a shitty example.” Jackie barked.

__

”It really is. I’m sorry. I’ve had too many vodka lime sodas. I think the point is… Scott picked you. He didn’t pick Tessa. He could have picked her. But, he didn’t. You trust Scott. Trust in your relationship.”

__

”But, what if…”

__

”Jackie, we deal in ‘what ifs’ all day. What if I give this patient more medicine or less? What if I had operated sooner? What if I had asked them that question instead? It’s an awful game with no winner. You can spend your days wondering and asking ‘what if’, but I guarantee the answer you get will never be satisfying. If Scott is in love with her, there’s nothing you can do. It’ll fucking suck and you’ll get hurt. So, may I suggest instead of letting your mind wander around, you just ask him.”

__

”I’m not sure I want to know.”

__

”Then, I’m pretty sure you already know the answer and you have a decision to make.”

__

When Jackie got back to her room, she didn’t call Scott. She fell into bed and had a dream about a wedding in the countryside, but she wasn’t the one getting married.

__

  


__

Just after breakfast, Tessa’s doorbell rang. A stack of boxes were tucked alongside her entry way. As she lifted the top one, she noticed the delivery driver was pulling a large box from his truck.

__

”Scott!” 

__

”Yeah?”

__

”Come here!”

__

He trotted out from the kitchen.

__

”Did you order something big?” Her tone sounding too parental for his liking.

__

”Define big, Virtue.” He cocked his head at the large box sitting on the floor with her name clearly printed on the label.

__

She pointed out the door to the driver walking up the pathway.

__

“This is the last box, ma’am.” His voice muffled because of the glass storm door.

__

”Thank you so much. Have a good day.” She waved at him.

__

Scott’s eyes lit up. She knew that look; a combination of mischief and childlike happiness. She waited for him to share what was in the mysterious box. Instead he told her he was moving it to the backyard.

__

She watched him suspiciously through the back door as he hauled the box up the porch. Her phone rang.

__

”Hi Mum.”

__

”Hello honey, how are you?”

__

”Go-od.”

__

”Did I catch you at a bad time?”

__

”Nooo.” She answered distractedly. “What in the world?” She couldn’t hide her annoyance.

__

”What?”

__

”Scott.”

__

”What about him?”

__

”You’ve got be kidding me!” 

__

”Tessa—“

__

”Sorry. It’s just that Scott ordered something and it’s a ginormous box and-- you have to see this, Mum. I’m gonna FaceTime you.”

__

Scott pulled the packing tape off and the cardboard flaps back. He reached in and yanked the bright blue item out.

__

”OH MY GOD! Is that a…. he bought a pool!”

__

”A pool?” Kate echoed.

__

Tessa flipped the camera on her phone.

__

”Well, look at that! That’s nice.” Kate’s enthusiasm was not rubbing off on Tessa.

__

”No, it’s a monstrosity. What was he thinking?”

__

”Tessa, calm down. It’s not that big.”

__

Tessa clucked at her mother who always took Scott’s side. From the moment Scott Moir entered Tessa’s life, he had utterly and thoroughly charmed Kate Virtue. She adored him and he knew it. He never took advantage, but he certainly encouraged it.

__

”What are you doing?” Tessa asked him as she got closer.

__

”Perfect timing, T. Look! I bought us a pool!”

__

”I see. Why did you buy a pool and where do you think you’re putting it?”

__

”Is that Kate? Heyyyy Kate.”

__

”Hi Scott.”

__

”I bought a pool for me and Tess. Pretty cool, eh?”

__

”It certainly is.”

__

”It came with a pump. Says it inflates in 20 minutes and takes 30 minutes to fill with water. It’s three feet deep, perfect for us to lounge in.”

__

”Scott, I can’t believe you bought this without asking me and plan to put it in my yard.”

__

”Well I can’t put it in the living room.”

__

Kate giggled. Tessa rolled her eyes; she was not surprised her mother was once again siding with Scott. But, he was doing that thing with his eyebrows and Tessa couldn’t help but smile. He knew he had her.

__

”T—it’s fine. It’s gonna be so awesome. You’ll see. Once you’re in the water sipping a gin and tonic, no worries.”

__

”But, it’s not even hot enough for swimming.”

__

”Well, technically the pool’s not big enough for swimming. And, if you’re gonna be that way, you can’t come in my pool.” Scott tried his best to sound insulted.

__

“Just make sure you put the hose away when you’re done.” Tessa softened her tone. Turns out Kate wasn’t the only Virtue woman Scott could charm.

__

”Tessa.” Her mother admonished her once she stepped back into her house. “You’re going to have to be less rigid or it’s going to be a long isolation.”

__

”I know. It’s just… who buys a pool when it’s 15 degrees out. Also, why do you always take his side?”

__

”I don’t take anyone’s side. You have to see where he’s coming from too, he’s trying to do something nice, to feel more normal—he’s not at his house, he’s not with his fiancée…”

__

Tessa didn’t even hear the end of her mother’s sentence; she was stuck on the word ‘fiancée’ and how easily it rolled off her mother’s tongue. She never referred to Jackie as his fiancée. She only called her Jackie. Anything else seemed foreign to her ears and her heart. 

__

”Tessa… think about what I said. Be open-minded and open-hearted and work with him. Like you always have, you know how much happier you both are when you’re working together not against one another.”

__

Tessa sighed, “Yes, Mum. And just so you know, I got him some things because I knew being cooped up here was going to be a challenge.”

__

”That was very nice of you, Tessa. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

__

Tessa looked out the window and watched Scott hook up the pump and the pool slowly inflated. The pool _was_ a nice gesture. She couldn’t stop the grin spreading across her face as he attached the hose to the spigot and dragged it across the lawn. He was the more adventurous one, always encouraging her to try something new. 

__

  


_Antwerp was slowly becoming one of her favorite places. The cobblestone streets, the opulent architecture, the museums, and most definitely the waffles and chocolate. She read the address out loud._

”I think it’s two blocks that way.” She pointed.

__

”Okay, and after we check it out, I promise I will take you shopping.” Scott made a criss-cross over his heart. 

__

”And, for waffles.”

__

”And for waffles,” he repeated.

__

The Cathedral of our Lady cut an imposing and striking figure, the spire rising 400 feet into the air. Scott stared at it in wonder. Tessa backed up and snapped a quick photo of him admiring the building. She glanced down and smiled at her handiwork. When he first suggested they come to Antwerp a few days before their GKP trip, she hesitated. Not because she didn’t want to go, she was afraid of being alone with Scott. They were in a really good place in their friendship and it felt, at times, like there was something else bubbling just below the surface. And, it was getting harder to ignore it.

__

”Hey, you coming?” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

__

”Yep.”

__

Inside, the cathedral gave off a reverent atmosphere—long wooden pews with a wide aisle dividing them into two sections and a massive altar at the front. They separated and took their time wandering around and reading bronze plaques detailing the cathedral’s storied history. They met back up at a pew and sat down. Neither was particularly religious, though Scott had been raised Catholic.

__

He reached for her hand and she slotted her fingers through his and curled them over. He closed his eyes. 

__

”I’m so glad we did this, Virtch,” His voice barely a whisper but the building’s acoustics made it louder.

__

”Me too.”

__

”Wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.” He opened his eyes and looked at her.

__

She held his gaze as her bottom lip twitched. Since December, they had been on a wavelength—with more than a few moments like this one where the electricity between them was undeniable. If either one of them gave even an inch…

__

”Excuse me, are you Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue?”

__

Tessa broke eye contact and looked up at the intrusion. A young blonde girl, about 19, was standing next to Scott.

__

Tessa nodded. “Yes, yes we are.”

__

”Oh my god, I knew it. I told my friend Danika—“ She turned towards a brunette hovering nearby.

__

Tessa pulled her hand back discreetly and immediately missed the connection. Scott went into full fan mode—warm smile, goofy remarks that had the two girls laughing, and a gracious attitude.

__

Two hours later after a robust shopping excursion including stops at a shoe shop, a flower stall, and a tutu shop, they went in search of a treat. Scott shifted Tessa’s bags to his other hand and opened the door.Tessa walked inside and stopped short. Scott almost crashed into her.

__

”Tess—“

__

”Look…” Her mouth dropped open as she stared at the glass cases filled with the most extravagant chocolate concoctions she had ever seen.

__

Scott laughed. If there was one thing Tessa Virtue took seriously besides skating, it was chocolate. She practically floated towards the sweets. 

__

”Can I help you?” The older man behind the counter asked.

__

”Oh, thank you. I’m just looking right now.”

__

”Which means she’ll be sampling and buying everything,” Scott interjected.

__

”What flavors do you like?” The man inquired

__

”She likes everything.”

__

Tessa rolled her eyes and knocked Scott with the side of her body.

__

”What? It’s true!”

__

”Whatever you like, you can try. Pick something,” the man encouraged.

__

Tessa scanned the rows. She couldn’t decide. Caramel-filled, ganache-filled, nuts or no nuts. It was becoming overwhelming. That happened a lot lately. Any kind of decision making was becoming too much for her. Scott sensed it and jumped in.

__

”She likes caramel or ganache.”

__

Tessa nodded as she felt Scott’s warm hand tracing circles through the back of her jean jacket. She finally relaxed. But, he still kept his hand on her back.

__

The man handed over the samples and Tessa took a bite of the ganache one first. Her eyes closed and she let go of a low moan that bordered on obscene.

__

”There are families in here, Virtch.” Scott teased her.

__

She opened one eye and giggled. “Try it. It’s absolutely divine.”

__

He snagged the other half. He had to admit she was right. Scott didn’t have a sweet tooth like Tessa but this chocolate was insanely good. A few more samples and Tessa finally decided on four truffles to take with her for later.

__

By the time they got back to the hotel, it was raining. They were pretty soaked and Tessa was looking forward to a hot shower.

__

”We should go swimming,” Scott announced on the elevator ride.

__

”It’s raining out. And, it’s late.”

__

”It’s an indoor pool and it’s 9. What are you? Eighty-five? C’mon. Get your suit and I’ll come by and pick you up in fifteen minutes.”

__

She was going to protest but she knew it wouldn’t matter. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

__

Scott pushed open the door to the swimming pool area; one side was all glass and offered a view of the hotel’s lush gardens and the night sky, but all that was visible was the pounding rain and the occasional streak of lightning.

__

Tessa dropped a few towels on a double lounger and placed her phone on a side table. Scott laid his phone next to hers and reached for the back of his tee and pulled it over his head. Tessa noticed his obliques were still pronounced and his chest was filling out. She untied the hotel robe she had snagged from her room and let it slide off her shoulders. She knew Scott was watching her and she liked it. She had worn the bikini because of him, royal blue. Her breasts were still practically flat but the top gave them a little boost and the bikini bottom was much smaller than something she would normally dare to wear. She heard him mutter under his breath and felt smugly satisfied. 

__

”Ready?” She asked as he flexed his jaw and made a fist and then relaxed his hand.

__

The water was warm and felt good. They floated around unrushed as the storm grew in strength.

__

”So everyone arrives tomorrow.”

__

”Don’t sound so happy.” She winked.

__

”It’ll be fun, I’m just—kinda enjoying hanging with you, T.”

__

She swam over to the bench near him. “Me too. This was a good idea to come early and explore.”

__

He paddled over and sat next to her. She studied his profile as he ran down the list of activities for the next few days. She truly loved his aquiline nose and the sharp edge of his jaw. The glint of his grandfather’s necklace nestled against the base of his throat. He swooped his hair out of his eyes and laid his head back against the pool deck.

__

”We should probably get out.” Scott said as he stood up and reached for her hand to help her up.

__

Tessa faced him, her hand still in his and words—life changing words she had always wanted to say but couldn’t-- stuck in her throat.

__

Scott finished drying off first and lay down on the double lounger. She knew he was pretending not to watch her as she took her time patting the towel over her body. She should be embarrassed, acting this way. They didn’t do this. But, she didn’t care. He tapped the spot next to him. She slipped the robe over her bathing suit and joined him. 

__

”Just a few more minutes. Just us.” He told her as she settled in next to him.

__

  


__

  


”So, 30 minutes to fill the pool, a few hours in the sun and then we can take a dip. Or should I say I can take a dip” Scott teased, as he grabbed a water from the refrigerator.

__

Tessa rolled her eyes playfully. ”You wanna open your other boxes?”

__

Scott opened the medium-sized box first and removed three packs of boxer shorts, a package of white undershirts, and a pair of swimming trunks. 

__

Tessa pushed the larger box with her foot towards Scott. “Here, I got this for you.”

__

”You did? Thanks T. You didn’t have to do anything.” He sliced through the tape.

__

Tessa watched him as he carefully removed the packing paper. A huge grin spread across his face.

__

”What is all this?” He excitedly asked her as he read the enclosed note. “Aw shit, Tess! This is really sweet of you. Thank you!”

__

”You’re welcome. I know you don’t have any clothes here. Obviously.”

__

”They sent a whole damn store!”

__

Scott was right. Jenny, her contact at adidas, had gone above and beyond. She had sent at least five track pants and three sweatpants along with t-shirts, shorts, sweatshirts, hoodies, and socks. He lifted up a small bundle and handed it to her. Jenny had also included a few things for her.

__

”They sent us sneakers, too.” Scott held up a box. “C’mere Virtch.”

__

She stood up and he embraced her tightly. “Thank you. This was really amazing.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled back.

__

Tessa smiled and cast her eyes downward suddenly feeling bashful. “No problem. I just asked; they delivered.”

__

“Seriously. Thank you.” His hand traced the curve of her neck and down her shoulder and landed on her upper arm.

__

”I-- have to look over some ideas for BonLook.” Her voice trembled slightly.

__

”Sure. I’ll clean up here and then check on the pool. I was thinking leftover pad thai for lunch.” He smiled.

__

Tessa spent the next hour working, but she kept getting distracted remembering Scott’s hand on her neck. She pressed her hand to the spot as she swallowed a wave of guilt. 

__

”Hey…”

__

She jumped at the sound of his voice. “Oh!”

__

”Sorry... I was ready to heat up lunch unless you want it cold?”

__

”Sure.”

__

”Which?”

__

”Which what?”

__

”Who’s on first?” Scott laughed. “How do you want your pad thai?”

__

”Oh,” Tessa giggled. “Warm it up, please. But, if you want to wait I can help you.”

__

He inched closer into her office. “Is that… are those your new designs?”

__

”Uh, yeah.”

__

”I like the tortoiseshell frames. And, I like those.” He pointed to a pair of oversized black sunglasses.

__

”Thanks.” She was quite proud of her hard work.

__

”Those are kinda? I dunno, they’re not… substantial? Does that make sense? Especially if you’re sticking with that color.” He was talking about the pair of deep rose colored sunglasses that she wasn’t crazy about either.

__

”Yeah?” 

__

”But, if you like them, T. I’m certainly not a fashion expert…”

__

”I’m not crazy about them either, to be honest. I think you described the issue I have with them quite well. If they were a thicker frame, would you like them better?” She asked.

__

”I wouldn’t wear them, but I think they would look better.”

__

Despite his fondness for promotional t-shirts and workout gear, Scott did have an eye for fashion. This was the same man who picked out a Tom Ford tuxedo and Louboutin shoes for their ‘Walk of Fame’ ceremony and always matched his socks to her outfit without ever meaning to—and impressed Mayumi during the Vogue photo shoot with his ability to select photos.

__

”Lunch’ll be ready in 10 minutes.”

__

”Thank you… I’ll be there.”

__

After lunch and a call with Russell, Tessa decided to call it a day and found Scott on the couch reading a book. 

__

”So, I was thinking…” She began.

__

”Yes…” Scott rested the book on his chest.

__

”What if we got into our swimsuits, made some gin and tonics and enjoyed that lovely pool you were so kind enough to purchase.”

__

”I would say I accept your apology and I think it’s a great idea.”

__

Tessa stood in her closet debating which suit to put on. She wasn’t even sure why she cared. She reached for the pink polka-dotted bikini she had purchased for her trip to France in 2018. 

__

”Ladies first.” Scott gestured.

__

She dropped her cover-up and lifted her leg up over the side while he held her hand to make sure she didn’t slip. The water was lukewarm and suddenly Tessa wasn’t sure a dip was such a good idea.

__

”It’s not that warm yet.”

__

”Hang on.” He joined her in the pool. ”Okay, so it’s not perfect, but it’s in the sun and we have drinks.” He adjusted his ‘Detroit Tigers’ baseball cap.

__

He sat down and let go of a giant ‘whoo’ as the water hit his bare skin. 

__

”Fuhhhckkkk. S’cold…”

__

Tessa stood above Scott watching him squirm. 

__

”It’s not bad once you’re in it.” He didn’t sound very convincing.

__

She eased down into the pool regretting every second. She leaned back and tried to relax.

__

Scott reached over to a small table he had placed next to the pool and turned the outdoor speaker on. Seconds later, a Birds of Bellwood song kicked in.

__

”What should we do for dinner tonight?” She asked.

__

”You want a steak and potato or that tomato tart?”

__

”Ohhh. Tomato tart!”

__

”Okay...” He chuckled at her enthusiasm.

__

”I got us some jigsaw puzzles and board games, too. We could do one after dinner. It’s mindless fun. Morgan and I did puzzles and—“ She stopped herself. She felt weird talking about Morgan with Scott. 

__

”And?”

__

”I was just going to say they helped pass time. That’s all.”

__

”Tessa, you can talk about your boyfriend. He’s not a secret.”

__

She had to bite back a stinging retort about his engagement. Instead she took a large sip of her drink. He had made it strong, but it was refreshing.

__

”Have you spoken to Jackie today?”

__

Scott exhaled. ”For a few minutes this morning. She sounds tired, but a little less stressed than before. A few of the nurses and doctors got together after their shift in someone’s room and ate and hung out.”

__

”Aren’t they worried about maybe getting sick from each other?”

__

”She says they get tested. To tell you the truth, I’m not crazy about the idea, but she says it makes her feel better, more normal. What do I know? I’m the selfish asshole Olympian who risked people’s lives by leaving Florida during the pandemic to come back to Canada.”

__

Tessa winced. Fans had roasted him after he made a video explaining his decision to stay in Florida from March to May. It didn’t matter that he had stayed because Jackie wanted to work and he wanted to support her.

__

”I flew to Vancouver. What does that make me?”

__

”On a private jet. That makes you way more responsible than me. Look, I get why everyone was so upset. I do. Should I’ve made the video? Probably not. But, I got tired of all the fucking shit being said. I’m tired of being accused of being a shitty human being. I’m not perfect. Believe me, the list of all the reasons I suck is long.”

__

”That’s not true. And, you should have let me say something.”

__

He shook his head emphatically. “No way was I going to let you try to tell our fans to lay off me.”

__

Tessa’s gaze drifted to the water. When the backlash of the video started, she had called and told him she wanted to post a defense of him to her twitter and Instagram accounts. She wanted to stick up for him. He flatly refused. He told her she didn’t need to put her reputation and business deals on the line for him. He would be fine. Besides, she had so much more at stake. Morgan agreed with him, and it had caused a small rift. 

__

  
_Tessa couldn’t believe Morgan was being so defiant. They had smaller dust-ups, usually over meals or what to watch on Netflix, but this was different._

“He’s being attacked and I want to defend him.”

__

”Your heart’s in the right place, but you have sponsors to think about. It doesn’t look good that he’s in the U.S. during a pandemic and is coming back now. I know he’s being safe but like our Media trainer always tells us—optics is everything to the fans.”

__

”We flew here in the middle of a pandemic. Why do we get a pass?”

__

”We flew private. He’s a big boy, let him handle it.”

__

”I think—“

__

”Tessa, leave it alone. You asked for my advice. I’m giving it to you. I happen to agree with Scott. He told you to leave it alone. And so am I.”

__

”I don’t care about the sponsors, Scott did nothing wrong.”

__

”Listen to me. I get the desire to protect your teammate, believe me. But, sometimes you just gotta let people fight their own battles.”

__

”You and your teammates always defend each other, so please tell me how this is so different?”

__

”Every situation is different.”

__

Tessa sighed. Maybe Scott and Morgan were right. She watched Morgan pull on his sneakers.

__

”Where are you going?” She tried not to sound annoyed with him.

__

”Out for a quick run. Do you wanna come?”

__

”You know I don’t run.” She gave him a look.

__

He popped up from the chair and pecked her lips. “Love you. Back in 30.”

__

Why did she feel like she was being dismissed? She knew Morgan wanted the best for her, he had been very understanding about her relationship with Scott. He never questioned it, never got jealous that she knew of—in fact, he was quite supportive. She couldn’t ask for anything more. Or could she?

__

  


__

”I also bought chess. You told me you would teach me when we did ‘Stars on Ice’. But, you never did.” Tessa shifted in the water so was facing Scott.

__

”I can do that. Also, my mum said she and my dad and Carol and Paul have been playing euchre online. It’s an app. They invited us to play.”

__

Tessa smirked. When they were younger, Scott’s parents had taught her and Scott to play the card game. What made them spectacular ice dancing partners translated into spectacular euchre partners. Their unspoken thoughts were so in sync, more often than not, they beat the elder Moirs. 

__

”Thought you might like that.” Scott winked and flicked water at her.

__

”Dooon’t!” She giggled. 

__

But, the mischievous little boy in Scott couldn’t stop, he cupped his hand and squirted her with water as she tried to bat him back, splashing him in return.

__

Her hand slipped and instead of a light splash, Scott’s face was dripping. 

__

”Ohhhhh! Scott—I’m so sorry.” She giggled and covered her mouth.

__

”T…”

__

”No, no. Please.”

__

”You should’ve thought of that before you soaked me.”

__

”Scott!” She held a finger up. “Do not even think about it. I mean it.”

__

A sprinkle hit her face and she blinked rapidly. Then another. She barked out for him to stop. She turned away from him and her laughter carried across the backyard. His hand was on her ankle and she went sliding across the pool and he held her tightly to him as he flicked the water into her face as she squealed and screamed in laughter. 

__

”St-aahhhhp. My neighbors will think you’re murdering me.” She sputtered out.

__

“Never! Do you know how popular I am with Mrs. Baker?”

__

Tessa’s neighbor, Mrs. Baker, was an older woman who loved her dearly and thought Scott was the perfect young man. After PyeongChang, he had spent quite a number of days and nights at Tessa’s house and Mrs. Baker never failed to make a comment, usually to Tessa’s mother which caused Kate to wonder if their friendship had shifted into something more intimate. It was no secret to Tessa that her mother and Alma had often wished for something to develop between their youngest children. They claimed to have given up on the idea, but Tessa knew her mother would have been thrilled if it happened.

__

Scott loosened his grip and Tessa splashed him one last time and scooted back to her side.

__

He handed her a drink. “So how’s Russell?”

__

”Good. He doesn’t have any residual issues from the stroke which is wonderful.”

__

”That was scary.”

__

”It was. And, now he’s itching for a new project.”

__

”He’s always looking for something new. Speaking of that, how’s your book coming along?”

__

She nodded as she sipped. “I’ve written some chapters. I hop all over the place with it. It was so much easier when Steve just asked us questions. I’m struggling with getting the proper words onto the paper. I know everyone’s going to judge what I say and how I say it so I really want to get it right.”

__

”You can’t worry about that too much, T. So many little girls… and boys too, and women look up to you and for good reason. You’re amazing. You just need to get out of your head.”

__

She smiled at him. They were always good at that, making the other feel like they could do anything. No matter how she felt in the changing room or even as they waited to get on the ice, once Scott held her hand, she knew she could do it. She had faith in herself, but the faith he had in her made her feel limitless.

__

”Thank you. You always give me too much credit.”

__

”That’s what partners are for, eh?” He grinned.

__

”I know we would never do it again, but sometimes I do miss training for the Olympics. Having that purpose every day. I worry I may not find that same fulfillment again.”

__

She secretly wondered if he missed things the way she did. She didn’t have an urge to skate again, she really just missed having a partner in crime.

__

”Me too. I miss the structure. That drive to be better each day. To have that tangible measurement. And, I miss you… us.” He snuck a glance at her.

__

She chewed on her bottom lip. “I miss us most of all. Getting to see you and planning our new programs. Practicing over and over. Just having the comfort of someone else going through what I’m going through. It’s weird to me to be alone.”

__

”It’s funny, sometimes I can feel you in my hands still. I can’t explain it. Or I smell your shampoo out of nowhere. I do know how creepy that sounds.”

__

Tessa snorted quietly. “I get it. I smell you too. It’s comforting in a way. We spent our whole lives together. You can’t just let that go.”

__

”Look at us. Isolating. Drinking G and Ts in a blowup pool. The fans would go nuts if they knew.” Scott wiggled his eyebrows at her trying to lighten up the moment, his defense mechanism when things got too serious.

__

”Can you imagine? They’d have a whole story laid out on tumblr in no time.”

__

Scott laughed and leaned back and tipped his hat forward to shield his face. Tessa reached over the side and grabbed her phone. She snapped a photo of her hand outstretched holding her drink. She posted it to her Instagram account with the caption ‘summer days, summer ways’. She never noticed that she had managed to get Scott’s left foot on the edge of the frame. 

__

”You should put on some sunscreen.” Tessa tapped Scott with the sunscreen bottle.

__

He applied a generous layer all over his arms, chest, and face. 

__

They relaxed for a while as the sun began to set and finally got out to make dinner.

__

”Okay so puzzle or game?” Tessa asked as Scott poured them more wine.

__

”Puzzle.” Scott surprised her.

__

She laid a tablecloth down on her dining room table and placed the puzzle box on top. Scott ran his hand over the box, an image of Brabo Fountain in Antwerp. 

  
_Every cell in his body wanted to kiss her. Just once. Just to see what she tasted like. A mixture of Nutella and the buttery rich waffle with a hint of coffee. She had a smear of the hazelnut spread on the outer edge of her top lip. It would be so easy to lean in and lick it off and then properly kiss her. Instead he reached over and swiped at it with his finger as her eyes opened wide and her laugh danced between them._

”You eat with your whole ass face, Virtch.”

__

”It’s so good.” Her tongue darted out to make sure he had removed all of the chocolate.

__

He cut a piece of his waffle and dragged it through the strawberry compote. She caught his eye. He shook his head and held the fork out and she wrapped her lips around it. He told himself to behave like a gentleman. They had shared a moment in the church earlier and he found it increasingly difficult to brush away these electricity-filled pauses. 

__

”So what do you want to do next?” Tessa asked as she finished chewing.

__

He clenched his jaw to stop the words from bursting out of his chest. To kiss you. To kiss you and never stop. To kiss you and whatever else comes next. 

__

”I promised you shopping.”

__

”Best. Partner. Ever.”

__

”Ditto, kiddo.”

__

__

  


”I love that city.” Scott admitted. 

__

”You love the beer in that city.”

__

”True. But, I also love the architecture, the museums, and that bike ride was amazing.”

__

Tessa opened the box and dumped the pieces out.

__

”Do you remember our second day there before everyone else arrived? We went to the Cathedral, had waffles and then I dragged you all over to go shopping. Every shop. And, then after dinner-- it started to storm and you convinced me to go swimming in the hotel pool.” Her voice light with just a hint of annoyance.

__

”I sure do. One of my favorite vacations ever.”

__

Tessa stopped flipping pieces over and swallowed. She reached for her wine. 

__

He sat down and began helping her sort the pieces. The first few notes of a Rob Thomas song echoed from the kitchen.

  
  
_It's funny how a word might save your life. And I'm saying a lot right now…_  


  


She forged ahead. ”And, the tour of the champagne vineyards in France and that old monastery that made cheese and wine.” 

__

”Why do you think I asked you to go Antwerp early, just the two of us?” He pressed. Two glasses of wine and he was ready to play a dangerous game.

__

She connected two edge pieces together. ”Because we never had a chance to relax after PyeongChang. We just launched right into ‘Stars on Ice’ and then the Japan tour.”

__

”Tessa. There’s no way you believe that.”

__

”I think we need to do the edges first and then we can move onto the middle.”

__

Scott knew Tessa wasn’t about to delve into the Jenga game that was their personal relationship. There was no good way to examine one piece without the risk of bringing the entire relationship crashing down. Better to leave it alone. 

__

”Solid plan.” He said, not really meaning it.

  


  
_But I don't wanna fight. I don't wanna cry. I don't wanna leave. I don't wanna be here, be here now…_  


  


They worked in silence to build the edges of the puzzle, their fingers occasionally brushing as they reached for the same puzzle piece. Her mind was racing with what Scott really meant about Antwerp. She didn’t need this confusion in her life. She also didn’t want to confront the truth.

__

”Do you want a snack?” Tessa stood up. “I want a snack.”

__

”Sure.”

__

Tessa braced herself against the countertop. This isolation was a terrible idea. Alone with Scott for two weeks. She wanted Morgan. She wanted to burrow into his broad chest and lose herself in his embrace. Fall asleep while he played with her hair. She did not want Scott. She didn’t want to fall into his arms and feel the comfort of two decades. Or ease the longing of two decades. She cursed him for testing her. For not being able to handle his liquor. For the insinuation about their Antwerp adventure. How dare he. She had a wonderful boyfriend who loved her, who allowed her to be her quirky, goofy, brilliant self. He had a fiancée that he loved. He was practically married. He had a future. He let her go. No take backs. 

__

The microwave beeped and she dumped the popcorn into a bowl. She found Junior Mints, Milk Duds, and gummi bears in the cupboard. She mixed them together in a separate bowl.

__

”Hey—“

__

She looked up as he left his wine glass in the sink and grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator.

__

”I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Tess.”

__

”This is going to be a long two weeks if you can’t hold your alcohol.” She said harshly.

__

”I can fucking hold my alcohol just fine.”

__

”We should just work on the puzzle.” She gave him a tight-lipped smile and stepped past him.

__

He grabbed her arm. “You know I’m right. About Antwerp. I won’t apologize for that.”

__

She met his eyes. “Being right doesn’t make it right.”

__

He let her go and she walked into the dining room. 

__

When he didn’t join her, she thought he wasn’t coming back-- until she heard the downstairs toilet flush. She bit the head off a gummi bear and chewed it furiously. What would Susan their couple's therapist say? "Talk it out. Find the focus. Express your concern or fear. Tackle it together. You’re stronger on the same page."

__

He placed a water bottle next to her and sat down. He scooped up some popcorn and shoveled it into his mouth.

__

”Here’s another corner.” He handed it to her.

__

”Thank you. Look that… the sides are almost complete.”

__

So what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

__

She always marveled at how they could compartmentalize after a tense situation and move forward, ignoring the elephant in the room in favor of showing unity. It didn’t mean they wouldn’t solve the problem, they just both always understood they needed time to process their feelings. Maybe it was time to confront everything in their personal relationship, and hash it out. They had spent so much time building and rebuilding their work partnership. When it came to how they felt about each other personally, they always fell to the default position of ‘real love’ just not ‘romantic love’. But, it sounded like a very media-friendly answer used to dismiss any talk of something deeper between them. Neither wanted to cheapen what they felt for the other, but it was so complicated and they never wanted to ‘do’ complicated and maybe that was a mistake.

__

”I do have some work to do. I may try to write a little. You?”

__

”I gotta study for my next coaching test.”

__

”Do you need help?”

__

”Yeah, maybe if you have time you can quiz me?”

__

”I’d be happy to.”

__

”Also, I want to make pretzels.”

__

”What?” She chuckled at him.

__

”I placed an order with Loblaw’s and it’s coming tomorrow. I ordered flour and yeast. I wanna make pretzels.”

__

”O-kay.”

__

”Are you mocking me, Virtch?”

__

”I’d never mock you.” She grinned. “I fully support your pretzel making enterprise. Especially because I get to eat the pretzels.”

__

An hour later and Scott could barely keep his eyes open. They closed up the house and headed upstairs. As Tessa brushed her teeth, she thought about Scott’s confession about Antwerp. Was it really a confession? What did he mean about the ‘real reason’ he asked her to go to the city early? 

__

It was a spectacularly bad idea. One of her worst ever, she thought as she crept towards his bedroom careful not to step on the creaky floor planks. Don’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer. She could hear his voice, low and slightly angry through the door that was ajar. Go back to your room, she told herself, but she couldn’t. She paused and listened—betraying him. 

__

” Jackie, I’m not jealous of you hanging out with some doctor. I said I didn’t think it was smart. I can’t help my situation. They’re totally different.”

__

__

He must be on FaceTime because she could clearly hear Jackie’s response.

__

”So, I’m supposed to be okay that you’re living with her?”

__

”We’re not living together. We’re isolating.”

__

”Yes. That’s right, isolating… because you couldn’t be bothered to get home.”

__

”Now the truth comes out. You’re pissed. It’s not my fault.”

__

”I am pissed. She posted a photo to Instagram. You’re in a pool together?”

__

”What are you talking about?”

__

”Courtney told me she saw a photo Tessa posted of a drink and she was in a pool and there was a guy’s foot in the photo. So, I looked—it’s your foot, Scott. She didn’t tag you, but it’s pretty obvious it’s not Morgan’s since he’s in Toronto. And, all of the comments are fans wondering if it’s your foot.”

__

”Who cares?”

__

Tessa felt sick. She didn’t even know Scott’s foot was in the photo. She should take the photo down, but part of her didn’t want to. Let people talk. She hated that she felt that way.

__

”I care. I’m here every day at this damn hospital and you’re day drinking in a pool.”

__

”I’m sorry. Should I just stay indoors doing nothing in solidarity with you?”

__

Tessa wondered if they argued like this often. She and Morgan rarely fought. They didn’t have much to argue over. Did that make them boring or compatible?

__

”Just have some self-awareness. God, Scott-- I don’t want to fight. I only get a 15-minute break.”

__

”I’m not fighting. You’re the one who started it. You think this is easy for me?”

__

”Honestly, yes. I think staying in a beautiful house with your former ice dancing partner is quite easy for you.”

__

Jackie had a point. Tessa was intrigued by the fight; it was markedly different from the way she and Scott used to argue when they were skating. They would just stop talking to each other. And, then one of them—usually she—would insist they talk it out. Tessa hated fighting with Scott and she knew he hated fighting with her.

__

”Jack, what do you want me to say? That it’s torture being here with Tessa? You know I wish I was with you.”

__

”We’ve talked about this before. I have no problem with Tessa.”

__

That’s comforting, Tessa thought. She waited for the ‘but’.

__

”But, I have a problem with the way you act around her. I told you-- on ice you can be as flirty and romantic as you want with each other—it’s all pretend. But, the way you act off ice… that affects me. It affects us. It makes me feel disrespected. I told you when we started dating two years ago; I’m not some substitute for her. I wasn’t a consolation prize because you couldn’t get the girl of your dreams. I’m supposed to be the girl of your dreams. I’m not here to compete with her.”

__

Tessa’s eyes began to fill with tears. She felt horrible for Jackie. And, she also couldn’t shake the idea that Jackie said Tessa was the girl of Scott’s dreams. Where did that come from? 

__

”There’s no competition.” Scott made it sound like the idea was preposterous.

__

Tessa recognized his tone; he was seconds away from shutting down. He knew he was wrong, he was hurt too and was running out of runway to explain his feelings. 

__

”You say that—but we both know that’s not true. You turn it into one. You can’t help yourself. In fact, you choose not to even recognize it. We’re supposed to be getting married next month and I—“

__

There was a silence. Tessa didn’t move. Did they lose their connection? And, then she heard it. The unmistakable sound of a woman crying. 

__

”Jackie- please don’t cry.”

__

”Do you even want to marry me? Seriously Scott—be honest. When you close your eyes and picture your wedding, not our wedding, but your wedding… who’s walking towards you? Is it me or her?”

__

”Jackie, don’t be ridiculous.”

__

Tessa swallowed thickly.

__

”Me or her?”

__

”I asked YOU to marry me.”

__

Tessa closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding, she felt hot and nauseous. She turned on the ball of her foot and as she made her way back to her room she heard Jackie tell Scott that wasn’t an answer.

_  
_

Tessa was up before Scott and on the Peloton by 7am. She finished her workout and headed to the kitchen. He wasn’t in there or watching television. She climbed the stairs, his door was open. She peeked inside and his bed was made. He wasn’t in the bathroom. As she passed by the kitchen window again, she spotted him sitting outside. She debated about whether to interrupt him. As she contemplated her next move, she made a pot of coffee. She poured them each a cup. 

__

”Morning.” She held the mug out.

__

He glanced at her and she could see his eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed.

__

”I can leave you alone….” She turned back to the house.

__

”Don’t.”

__

They sat quietly in the early morning surrounded by the greyness, sipping their coffee and listening to the birds and the leaves rustling. A storm was coming.

__

”I messed up.” Scott confessed, his voice cracking.

__

”What do you mean?”

__

”She wants to take a break. We’re supposed to get married in five weeks and she wants to take a break. How’s that supposed to even work?”

__

”I’m sorry.”

__

She looked over at Scott. Tears slid down his cheeks and he let them fall on his sweatshirt.

__

”You’ll fix it.” She reached over and squeezed his forearm hoping the gesture would be comforting.

__

”Maybe.”

__

”Of course you will.”

__

Tessa tried to sound hopeful, but she knew her words sounded empty and hollow. After all, Jackie had packed up her whole life in Florida and moved back to Canada for Scott. She had given up so much—her job, her friends, her home. And, what had he sacrificed? Scott was one of the most generous people she knew. He was equal parts kind-hearted and tender-hearted. It meant he often got hurt in relationships. Jessica used him as a pawn, but he was young and foolish and so he got over it quickly. Loving Kaitlyn nearly destroyed him; he lost himself in her because he was lost. And, now Jackie.

__

”I know you heard us. Jackie and me. Last night.”

__

”I—“

__

”You’re not as quiet as you think. Besides, it’s a hundred-year old house with hundred-year old wood floors.”

__

Tessa blushed. “I didn’t mean to. I was coming down to talk to you and the door was open and I heard you on the phone. I shouldn’t have listened. I’m so sorry.”

__

”I do love her.”

__

”I know. She knows that too.”

__

Scott harbored no illusions about his relationship with Jackie. Not anymore. The last thing she said to him was she needed a break from the Tessa and Scott show. That was the part Tessa had missed. It was happening all over again. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what he said, no matter what he did—there was always a Tessa Virtue-shaped silhouette in every one of his relationships. He tried to get it to fade, to blur a little—but it never worked. He knew it was his fault. That’s why he distanced himself from Tessa; he hoped it would show his commitment to Jackie. But, his image of Tessa wasn’t going to go quietly. At least his heart was never going to let that happen. 

__

Scott swiped at his face. “What did you want to talk about?”

__

”Huh?”

__

”You said you were coming to talk to me last night. About what?”

__

Tessa made a strained noise. “Nothing.”

__

”Tess?” He pushed her.

__

”We can talk later. It can wait. I promise. Did you eat breakfast?”

__

”No.”

__

”Why don’t we have breakfast and then you can study and I can write and then I’ll quiz you and as a reward, you can make us pretzels.” Tessa reverted to her “I’ve got this all under control” mode.

__

She stood up, coffee mug in hand, and waited for him to join her.

__

He looked up at her. “I fell in love with you when I was ten years old. And, I never stopped.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Tessa's reaction... and where do they go from here?


	3. Say You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott's big confession leads them down a road of twists and turns.  
> As they both grapple with their feelings for each other, a giant storm heads to London.  
> And, they are forced to finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certainly hope people are still up for reading this...
> 
> Many thanks to Rook for looking over this chapter--  
> She liked it so hopefully you all will too.
> 
> The title is from the song "Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware which was in my head when I started to write this chapter.

”I fell in love with you when I was ten years old. And, I never stopped.”

The words pinballed around her brain as images of them at eight and ten flashed into view like one of those old toys you hold up to the light and pull a lever to click through the photos on a disk.

_”Here.” Scott awkwardly shoved a small bouquet of flowers into Tessa’s hand. “I got these for you.”_

_”Thank you!” She knew he had stolen them from the container at the side of the rink, but she didn’t care. Her boyfriend had brought her flowers._

_”Tessa! Come, come—you’re up next.” Carol gestured for her._

_”I have to go.” She smiled._

_”Okay.”_

_”Will you watch me?” Her enormous green eyes pleading with him._

_”Sure.“ He wiped his sweaty hands on his skating pants._

_Scott leaned towards her, lips slightly pursed and eyes closed. At the last second, she turned her face and his lips landed on the corner of her mouth. He told her it was a good luck kiss._

_Years later, during one of those ‘how well do you know your partner games’ they were always forced to play during television interviews, he revealed it was his first kiss. It had been hers too, but she pretended like she couldn’t remember. She would never forget the hurt she saw in his eyes._

_”I didn’t think you’d really answer the first kiss question.” She admitted as they waited for the car to drive them back to the hotel._

_”Why not?”_

_”I guess I didn’t think you’d count it as a real kiss. You missed my mouth.”_

_”So you do remember.”_

A low rumble echoed in the distance, the storm was moving closer.

Tessa wasn’t sure how many minutes had passed since Scott changed her world with a confession he waited 22 years to divulge. And, she was at an even greater loss how to respond.

”You don’t have to say anything,” he told her.

Not say anything? Wasn’t that the problem between them? They never said anything. The idea Scott was in love with her had nestled into the back of her mind for years. Tucked away, safely hidden along with other memories of him in her mental hope chest. It was much easier to think he didn’t feel the way she did, easier for their partnership and easier on her heart. And, now when both of their lives were stable and heading in the right direction, he decided to blow the whole thing up. Fuck him.

His phone started to ring. He checked the screen and when he looked up, Tessa was walking back towards the house.

He hit the ‘ignore’ button.

By the time she reached the kitchen, it was starting to sprinkle. She filled a pot with some water, set it on the stove, and added a splash of vinegar. She grabbed four eggs out of the refrigerator and pulled her toaster from the cupboard.

The rain felt good on his face, like it was washing away his sins.

_Lust._

_Envy._

_Pride._

Scott paused, his hand on the doorknob. He exhaled and stepped inside. The scent of toast reminded him he hadn’t eaten breakfast.

Standing in the doorway between the tv room and her kitchen, he watched her move around the kitchen.

“Whatcha making?” He asked.

“Poached eggs.”

He couldn’t read her tone, not that he would blame her if she was angry with him. He did just drop a bombshell into the middle of their relationship.

Tessa placed a plate on the island with two pieces of toast topped with poached eggs. She pulled a fork from the drawer and gestured to him. She had made him breakfast. At least that was a good sign.

He broke the yolk and dug in. The meal, simple as it was, tasted delicious. Despite her lack of culinary skills, Tessa was an expert at making poached eggs. He dipped the toast into the runny egg yolk.

She set a cup of coffee next to him and the creamer. ‘Short order cook’ Tessa was a woman of few words and gestures. He knew he fucked up.

“Thank you for breakfast. It’s delicious.” He praised her.

“Hmm mmm.”

They ate in silence. He was too afraid of saying the wrong thing. She was too afraid of saying anything.

“Tess—“ His voice sounded braver than he felt.

“I can’t.”

“Okay. But, at some poi—“

She cut him off as she stood up with her empty plate. “I know, but right now, I have work to do.”

Tessa closed the door to her office. Her entire body was shaking even her hands, until she realized that was actually her phone vibrating. Jordan’s photo popped up on the screen. She was going to ignore her, but she knew her sister would just keep calling.

“Hi!” She hoped she sounded happy.

“Hey you. How’s everything going in Casa de Quarantine?”

“Good. Everything’s good.”

The lie tasted bitter, but she couldn’t bear to tell her sister the truth. She wasn’t up for a ‘told you so’ and ‘what were you thinking’.

“How’s Scott?”

“He’s fine. I’m sorry, Jor— I just have a lot of work to do. Can I call you back later?”

“Sure. I wanted to let you guys know I’m teaching a barre class later today at 4, if you wanted to zoom it. Scott seemed to enjoy the class and was actually good at it.”

“Okay. Like I said, I have a lot of work, but maybe.”

Jordan clucked at her sister. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tessa gripped the phone tightly and squeezed her eyes shut hoping to hold back the tears that were seconds away from falling.

“I’m fine.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “Everything’s fine.”

“Alright, talk to you later. Love you.”

Scott ignored the words on his phone’s screen.

_Please call me._

_Are you okay?_

_We need to talk._

He pressed send.

“Hey!”

“Hey.” Scott got up and walked over to the French doors and stepped outside. The rain was falling steadily. He sat down on a loveseat.

“What’s up?”

“I fucked up, Dan.”

Danny Moir was one of two people on the planet who saw through Scott’s bullshit. The other was upstairs refusing to speak with him.

“Whadja do?”

“Did Ma tell you what’s going on?”

“You mean about the lockdown? Or the fact you and Big Hands are playin’ house?”

“We’re not fucking playing house.”

Danny chuckled. “What do Jackie and Morgan think you’re doing?”

Scott forced his tears away, but his voice still broke. “Uh…” 

Scott heard his niece in the background and Danny telling her that Uncle Scott couldn’t talk right now and the sounds of Danny’s family fading away as his brother found a quiet place in his house to talk.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” 

“Jackie wants to take a break.”

“A break? From what? You?”

“Yeah, I guess so. She’s been on lockdown at the hospital for almost two weeks now. It’s been really hard. And, she says she hasn’t felt properly supported by me. You know when I stayed behind in Florida, it was different. She got to come home every night. We were able to be together. I think--”

Scott dropped his head into his hand and cried quietly.

Danny gave his brother space before offering his opinion. “Listen to me. All relationships go through rough patches. This is a terrible situation for everyone. It’s fucked up. Give it a few days. She’ll feel better.”

“I told her I’m in love with her,” he sobbed.

“She knows that, little brother. She’s got a lot going on. See it from her—“

“Not Jackie.” Scott sniffed. “Tessa.”

He could hear Danny regulating his breathing, an indication he was holding back from unleashing on him.

“What the fuck?” Danny angrily spat.

“I had to.” Scott insisted petulantly.

“You had to? Why?”

“Because it’s the truth. And, she had a right to know.”

“Bullshit. She didn’t need to know. You needed her to know. What did she say?” Danny sounded furious.

Scott ran his hand through his hair. Every part of him hurt and his older brother’s disappointed tone didn’t help.

“Nothing. She won’t talk to me. At least not now.”

Danny sighed. “Can you blame her? You’re the one man in this world she could always count on. What’s wrong with you?“

“I didn’t call for a fucking lecture.”

“I’m not giving you one. But, I warned you when you started up with Kaitlyn after Sochi and again during your comeback. I told you that you needed to sort out these feelings. You told me I was wrong. And, when you and Jackie started to get serious, I asked you. I asked you if you were over Tessa. You swore to me it wasn’t like that. That it hadn’t ever been like that.”

Tessa crept down the stairs. She couldn’t believe she was afraid to walk around her own house. The idea of running into Scott and being forced into a conversation she was not ready for weighed heavily as she made her way to the kitchen. When she didn’t see or hear him, she assumed he was holed up in his room.

Scott was in love with her. No matter how hard she tried to distract herself there was no forgetting those words. She poured some water into a mug and heated it up in the microwave.

The rain hadn’t let up. If it continued like this, the pool would be overflowing by lunch time. The microwave beeped and she grabbed her mug and headed to the back door. Maybe a little rain-soaked air would clear her head.

“What do you want from me? It’s not like I don’t love Jackie. I wanna get married.”

Tessa stopped short and hid in the doorframe. Once again she was caught in the precarious position of an eavesdropper. Scott needed to stop using the speaker function on his phone.

“Just not _to_ Jackie.” Danny snapped.

“I never said that,” Scott retorted.

“Instead you’d rather be a fucking selfish piece of shit and hurt a woman who uprooted her entire life to be with you? A woman who agreed to marry you. Not to mention what you’ve done to Tessa who spent the better part of her life with you.”

Tessa wasn’t surprised Scott had called Danny. He idolized his eldest brother. And, though she wanted to feel sorry for Jackie, she was too caught up in her own headspace to even feel an ounce of pity.

“Don’t you think I know that? She’s literally the last person on earth I wanna hurt and now she won’t talk to me, so now what I am supposed to do?”

“Are you talking about your fiancée or the woman you’re in love with? Cause honestly I can’t tell.”

Danny’s words sliced through neatly. Not that Tessa didn’t agree with him, he just didn’t have to be so cruel.

“Fuck you, Danny. That’s not fair. You know I‘m in love with Jackie. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me.”

The silence sat between the two brothers.

“I know.” Danny’s tone softened.

“Besides it doesn’t matter about Tessa. I know she isn’t in love with me. She’s gonna end up marrying Rielly. He’s a good guy. He treats her well and is crazy about her. She really loves him. It’s all good.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

Scott’s voice broke. “I have to.”

Tessa slipped back into the house as Scott’s words sunk in and she was more confused than ever before.

_February 19, 2018_

_Tessa hadn’t stopped smiling in four hours. Not since the gold medal was placed around her neck. She smiled through the typically predictable media scrum, laughing when Scott jokingly scolded a reporter for asking about their relationship status. She had never been happier in her life._

_As they made their way into the small area where they could finally get a brief moment with their families, Tessa reached out her hand and stopped Scott._

_“What is it, T?”_

_“I –“ She paused._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Her heart was racing, she felt warm and her throat was scratchy. She thought it was her traditional post-competition cold rearing its ugly head, but it felt like something else._

_“I feel warm.” She furrowed her eyebrows._

_Scott reflexively reached out his hand and placed his palm on her forehead. Her eyes closed at the touch. He leaned over and placed his lips where his hand had been, and murmured she felt cool._

_“Maybe it’s your post-competition cold? You know how easily you get worn down, T. Let’s say hi to everyone and we’ll head back to the hotel and you can take a nap.”_

_“Okay.” She nodded as he threaded his fingers through hers and placed a kiss on top._

_“We won the Olympics, T! We did it!”_

_His typical exuberance overwhelmed the situation and she allowed herself to get caught up in it._

_“I know!” She grinned, the unsettled feeling evaporated._

_They walked through the doors as loud cheers erupted. Jordan hugged her tightly, happy tears streaming down her face. She hugged her mom again and turned to find Danny waiting to scoop her up._

_“Big Hands! You guys did it!” The faint scent of beer on his breath._

_“We sure did!”_

_A large crowd of fans gathered outside the room and were peering into the windows and open doorway. Security ushered the families away to a private conference room._

_Joe Moir began telling stories about Tessa and Scott as kids. Kate and Alma cried over the decades of memories. Danny and Charlie teased them about making it overly dramatic with the close finish._

_Tessa made eye contact with Scott. He winked at her and she felt her insides tumble around._

_Champagne and glasses of beer appeared. Joe raised a toast to “our kids” as everyone continued to celebrate._

_“How are ya doing?” Danny threw his arm over her shoulder._

_“Good. Excited. Thrilled. It feels so surreal, ya know.”_

_“I’m so fucking proud of you guys.” He kissed her temple._

_“Thank you.”_

_“I don’t think we would’ve made it to the Olympics.” He made her laugh with the reference to her first grade journal entry._

_“Mmm. You never know.” She scrunched her nose teasing him._

_“Eh, I’m not anywhere as good as he is or as good as he is when he’s with you.”_

_Tessa swallowed, the scratchiness in her throat was back._

_“We are good together on the ice.” She carefully replied._

_Danny held her eyes. And, in an instant, she knew._

_“Would you look at that? Asleep at his own party!” Charlie’s voice bellowed out._

_Tessa looked across the table at Scott in a chair, head lolled to the side, fast asleep. One of his many hidden talents was falling asleep wherever he was and it infuriated Tessa whose own restlessness made falling asleep difficult._

_Charlie tossed a bottle cap at Scott’s chest and it bounced off._

_“Leave him be,” Alma scolded._

_Danny squeezed Tessa’s shoulder and she called out to Scott. He didn’t flinch. She smiled at how peaceful he looked._

_This man who had given her so much during the last 20 years. From victory to heartache and every emotion in between. Scott was her rock. He was kind-hearted and strong. He was compassionate and funny. The baby-faced boy of her childhood had become a man—a handsome one. He’d never say so, but Tessa would. All of the men she had been attracted to in the past were tall and athletic, physically bigger than Scott. But, none measured up to him. None made her feel as loved or as special as he did. A brush of his hand on hers or the way he gently flicked an eyelash off her cheekbone, how he cradled her face when he kissed her after every skate, his hands firm around her waist in a lift or how he burrowed his nose into her neck every chance he got._

Tessa returned to her office in the converted attic space. Rain battered against the window. She shivered and wrapped her hands around her hot mug hoping the warmth would seep into her bones. Her statistics book taunted her. Math was never her strong suit. Morgan tried to help her when they were isolating, but every time he offered his assistance, they ended up making out or having sex. He was an enormous distraction. The best kind.

Honestly, she needed Scott. He was a whiz at math, always adding up their scores during competition like a computer. He earned a math award in grade 8. In high school, he explained Algebra and Geometry to her while she helped him a bit with English and Literature.

They would have to talk, there was no avoiding it. And, sooner rather than later. They still had at least ten days together in isolation. Longer, if the cases kept climbing. The idea of discussing all the what-ifs in their relationship made her want to cry. They couldn’t be together. Scott was getting married and she had Morgan. Their lives were the way they were supposed to be. They weren’t meant to be together.

_February 2020_

_“Thank you for doing this, Tessa.” Lilah hugged her. “Everyone will be so enthralled by what you have to say.”_

_“You’re welcome. I don’t know if enthralled is quite the correct word.” She laughed. “But I’m looking forward to it.”_

_“Coffee? Or Tea?” Lilah asked as she led Tessa into her kitchen._

_“Coffee would be great.”_

_The two sat down on the gray sleek yet comfortable couch in Lila’s living room. Tessa couldn’t help but notice Lilah’s decorating taste was similar to her own. Even Lilah’s personality was reminiscent of Tessa’s._

_Thirty minutes later and the interview was going well._

_“Who are you most yourself with?” Lilah raised an eyebrow._

_“My mom.” Tessa paused. “And Morgan.”_

_Lilah smiled and began delving into Tessa’s relationship with Scott._

_“I know you say you were never a couple. But, did you at any point ever think about it? Or discuss it?”_

_Tessa chewed on her lip. “No.” A split second of hesitation, almost like she was hiding something. Most people wouldn’t have noticed it. Lilah tipped her head slightly to the right, and moved on. She didn’t want to embarrass her friend, but the negative answer was hardly a declaration._

_An hour later, they were seated at a nearby restaurant enjoying small bowls of butternut squash soup._

_“So, was it horrific?” Lilah joked._

_“Actually, it was a lot of fun. You ask such thoughtful questions. I mean I’m not surprised as you are such a good observer, and are studying psychology. I felt so comfortable, more so than I usually do.”_

_“I’m so glad. My Social Psychology professor has been helping us extrapolate on the idea of authenticity and framing questions to illicit that.”_

_The server refilled their glasses and let them know their salads would be coming momentarily._

_“Tess, I hope you didn’t think I was prying into your relationship with Scott. I know you’ve been asked the question a million times. Lewis and I went through that in the beginning. Obviously not to the extent of you two.”_

_“Not at all. I know people are interested. I understand.”_

_“I must admit I was surprised by your answer.”_

_Tessa looked up from her bowl. “You were?”_

_“Yes.” Lilah set her spoon down. “I just assumed you and Scott had discussed the whole ‘should we pursue a relationship’ angle. To be honest, I thought that maybe during the comeback you were together and were just hiding it.”_

_“Why would you ever think that?”_

_“Well, you’ve always had superb chemistry on ice. I could watch the two of you skate for hours. But, off ice—“_

_Tessa tried desperately to maintain the neutral look on her face._

_“You two were very affectionate with one another. When you thought no one was looking. The way Scott acted towards you and you with him. It was familiar, but in a very intimate way. Perhaps it’s because you’ve known each other so long.” Lilah tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m embarrassed to tell you I asked Romain about it once, but he dismissed it. So, I finally worked up the courage to ask Patrice. I didn’t want to seem like I was gossiping.”_

_“What did he say?” Tessa already knew the answer._

_“Oh he laughed and said ‘je souhaite’. He admitted he had given up on you two ever coming to your senses, as he put it, and turning into him and Marie. And, then there was the Michael Marinaro rumor.”_

_“What rumor?”_

_“After the National Championships in 2017?”_

_Tessa shook her head._

_“So, after the banquet, everybody supposedly went to Patrick’s hotel room for an after party. Are you sure you want me to tell you? I feel a bit—“_

_“No. I mean yes. I want to know. It’s okay, go ahead.”_

_“So, at some point, the party moved to the pool.”_

_Tessa tried her best to recall the events. She and Scott had won their seventh national title and they probably went to Patrick’s room to celebrate, but she could barely remember what she did a week ago let alone three years ago._

_“Mind you, Madi’s the one who told me this. Michael told her Scott confessed to him that he was in love with you and that after the Olympics he was going to do something about it. You guys would be retiring from skating and you could open up that side of your life and see where it goes. Apparently it wasn’t the first time Scott confessed this to him.”_

_Tessa’s tongue darted out to wet her lips. She reached for her water and nearly spilled the glass._

_“Tess… I didn’t mean to upset you.”_

_“You didn’t Lilah, I promise. Scott and I—“ She opened and closed her mouth unsure how to proceed before finally settling on a direction. “We’re very close, as you know. We’re enormously proud of each other and there’s such love there for one another. But, it’s not necessarily romantic. I think we certainly find each other attractive, but we also recognized early on that if we wanted to be successful, a personal relationship would make things harder. I do love Scott and I know he loves me. We’ve decided that’s more than enough, it’s more than most people get.”_

_Lilah nodded. “I get it. Besides you’re both clearly happy. Scott’s engaged and you have Morgan. It all worked out the way it should, I suppose.”_

_“Yes, I suppose.”_

A quiet knock on the door drew Tessa out of her daydream. Scott was standing near the threshold looking unsure. She waved him in as she turned her face to wipe a tear off her cheek.

“I made you some tea.” He stood in front of her desk holding a mug out to her. The kind gesture nearly broke her heart and infuriated her. Why couldn’t he be like ‘old’ Scott who would ignore her when they argued until she went to him to resolve the issue? ‘New and evolved’ Scott was always willing to talk and work things out.

“Thank you.” She smiled. He noticed the mug already on her desk.

“Guess you already had some.”

“It’s probably cold by now.” She reached up to take the tea from him.

He looked around the space. The last time he was in here he hadn’t really explored. Tessa’s carefully curated aesthetic carried over into her work life. White walls and clean lines. The desk placed at the perfect angle near the window, flowers on top. Bookshelves artfully filled with knickknacks. A couch on the opposite side with an amoeba-shaped table anchored in front of it.

He stopped in front of the framed sketches for her ice dance costumes and decided to test the waters.

“I always loved that first moment getting to see you in your costume. You’d come out of the locker room and I’d be standing there and you would twirl for me. That little moment just for us.”

Tessa closed her eyes. How could he act so normal when she was in a tailspin? When she finally spoke, her voice came out in a rasp. “I loved going to fittings with you.”

Scott barked out a laugh. At least they could still reminisce, he thought. “Are you kidding? You liked to see me squirm. I just wanted something comfortable to skate in. Remember the velvet pants Marina insisted upon for Dream A Little Dream?”

“You loved those velvet pants.”

“They were super comfortable. And, my ass looked amazing in them.”

She giggled. “You looked amazing in the suspenders.

“What is it with you and suspenders, T?”

“I don’t know. I just really like a man in suspenders.”

“Favorite costume of mine?” He looked at her.

“Hmm. I did love Mahler, of course. Latch just because the fans loved it so much. Moulin Rouge, for sure. Oh, and the short dance for PyeongChang. You always could rock a deep vee.”

“That was _really_ deep.” He chuckled.

“I absolutely adored the little bowtie for Sway. The whole outfit from the vest to tuxedo pants. But, that little hanging bowtie? Mathieu outdid himself.”

“You sure have a lot of favorites, Tessa Virtue.”

He bent down to take a better look at the sketches.

“I know we need to talk.”

Scott was caught off guard by her bluntness.

“Ye-ah. We do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to or that I’m avoiding you. I just…” Her voice faded along with her confidence.

Scott didn’t want to spook Tessa any more than he already had so he just stayed quiet.

“I promise we’ll talk later.” She insisted.

“Okay, T. I’ll let you get back to work.”

Each of his footsteps on the stairs sounded like her past fading away or was it her future? She buckled down and completed her Statistics work and moved on to a few offers for new projects.

They managed to spend the rest of the afternoon without ever bumping into each other. It was nearly six in the evening. A second more powerful storm seemed to be kicking up. She shut down her laptop and headed downstairs.

Lightning bounced off the windows and thunder shook her house. She hated storms.

“Scott?”

“In the kitchen.”

The aroma made her stomach rumble and she realized she hadn’t eaten since early afternoon.

“Hey…” She found him at the stove.

“Hey, dinner’ll be ready in a bit.”

She raised her eyebrow.

“Doing a version of chicken Puttanesca with spaghetti on the side.”

For a moment, she thought about Jackie and how after a long day at the hospital, she’d come home to a beautiful meal cooked by her fiancée. The guilt washed over her.

“Smells delicious.”

“We’ll see. Usually I make it with chicken thighs, but all I could get was breasts which are not as flavorful.” He couldn’t help but smirk.

She rolled her eyes. “I just appreciate the meal, I’m sure it will be delicious. Can I do anything to help?”

“Nah, it’s all good.”

“I can’t believe it’s rained all day. And, now it looks like it’s coming back.” She peered out the window.

“Anthony says the storm’s supposed to be really bad. I hope the pool will be okay.”

Conversations about the weather. Is that what their friendship had come to? They were pathetic.

Tessa watched out the window, the lightning streaked across the sky and she could see the pool standing strong, but for how long?

“Should we try to move the pool closer to the house?” She turned to him.

“I mean we could try, but it’s filled with water, T. It’s probably super heavy.”

“I just am afraid what will happen to it, if we don’t.”

Her phone buzzed on the island.

She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s Morgan. I’ll call him back. Let’s try to save the pool.”

“No, take it. I’ll check on the pool.”

“Hi!” She answered while keeping an eye on him.

“Hey babe, how are you?”

“Good. How are you?” She was so happy to hear his voice. Steady and calm.

“Great. Did I call at a bad time?”

“No, no. I—Scott. You called at a perfect time.”

“So what did you do today?”

A loaded question.

_Nothing really. My first boyfriend who also happens to be my skating partner for the last 22 years, you remember him. Scott. He’s isolating with me. Well, he confessed to being in love with me this morning and I’ve avoided talking about it for hours. Years, really. But, other than that it’s been a typical Friday._

“I studied. Did some Statistics.”

“Oh? I miss helping you study.”

She giggled. “I miss my study buddy too.”

“Tess—you’re killing me here.”

“Sor-rrry.” The flirtation in her voice taking over.

“So, safer topic. What are you up to for the weekend?”

“I don’t know. It’s getting ready to storm again. So probably just hang out. Read. Watch movies.”

He groaned. “I miss you so much. Hey did you see the email from Trish and Rob?”

“Yes! She’ll be ready to come home with us in July. But, what if you’re not home yet?”

“I’ll be bummed, you’ll have to send me tons of photos. Are we still going with Zoë?”

“Yes, I want to. Are you okay with it?”

“She’s gonna be your dog, Tess. Whatever you want to name her, I’m cool with.”

“She’s our dog, Morgan.”

“I know. Big step.”

“Are you nervous?” She asked.

“A little. Not about us. But us and a dog. She’s always going to be ours.”

“That’s the point. She’s ours. We’re a little family.”

“I can’t wait.”

“I love you.” Tessa felt an overwhelming need to tell him.

“I love you.”

“Oh! Oh!”

“Tess? You okay?”

“Oh my God! Morgan, I gotta go. Scott’s trying to move our pool in the storm. He just fell.”

“What? What pool? Tess... Tessa!”

“I’ll call you later, I promise. Love you.”

She opened the back door and the gusting wind flung it back at her. She fought her way outside. This was a stupid idea. She had so many stupid ideas this week.

Scott had managed to tip the pool on to its side so he could drain the water out of it. Now, he was struggling to lug it back towards the porch. He was fighting not only the pool’s size but the powerful wind. Tessa ran to him.

“Scott! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. This was not one of my better ideas.”

“No kidding. Just leave it.” She felt wetness on her face and wasn’t sure if it was rain or the pool water.

“It’s fine. I can just hook my arm over the side and kinda drag it over to the porch.” He started sliding the pool.

“Let me help.” She imitated his hold and together they pulled the pool over to the porch just as the rain started to fall.

They stood under the porch roof. Tessa looked over at him.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Where?” He held his arms out and checked his legs, caked with mud and blades of grass.

“Your elbow. Let’s go inside and get you cleaned up. I’ll grab some medicine and Band-Aids. Just leave your shoes by the door.” She hid a small smile as she noticed he was already untying his laces.

Inside her bathroom, she searched for Neosporin and Band-Aids. She found a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide and silently thanked her mother for stocking her medicine cabinet.

“Will you check the chicken? I’m gonna shower.” He asked her once she joined him in the guest bathroom.

“After I take care of you.”

“T, it’s a scrape. I’ve had worse injuries.”

“Give me your elbow; it’ll take me no time.” She uncapped the peroxide.

He held his arm out and she gently gripped his forearm and turned his elbow to her. She dabbed the soaked cotton ball on his skin.

“Hssssss.” He winced at the sharp pain. “Shit!”

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” She blew on it.

“S’okay. Just stings like a motherfucker.”

“That’s what you get for running out there.”

Tessa took her time cleaning his wound. Probably more time than she needed. Scott watched her every move. She cursed the buzzing electricity between them and remembered “The Night Circus”. Celia and Marco whose chemistry made the lights flicker and the room grow warm whenever they brushed hands. He smelled so good, that unmistakable Scott scent—sweat, soap, and him. The stray hairs around her face fluttered every time he breathed out. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her hands shaking.

“There,” she whispered. “I’ll put a Band-Aid on it after you shower.”

“Thanks, T. You’re a good nurse.”

She stopped at the door. “Oh, what am I looking for with the chicken?”

“Just move around the pieces. Make sure nothing gets burned. And, put a pot of water on high to let it boil. By the time I’m done, I can add the spaghetti.”

Scott turned the shower faucet on and undressed. His thoughts were a mess like the weather. Why did he open his mouth and admit he was in love with Tessa? It’s like he wanted to sabotage his life. He stood under the stream of hot water angry at himself. Jackie deserved better. She deserved more. She trusted him and this was how he repaid that trust. Not to mention Tessa. He was always so selfish with her. His mind went back to his last conversation with his grandfather.

_February 2017_

_The assisted living facility had a warm and cozy feel to it. Still, it was obvious this was the final home for most of the residents living here. Irvin “Mac” MacCormack was a military man, who after serving his country, concentrated on watching his large but tight-knit family grow up and succeed beyond his wildest dreams. Scott was one of his thirteen grandchildren._

_“G-Mac!” Scott hugged his grandpa tightly. His mother had warned him the 90-year old was starting to fail and perhaps he should make a quick trip home from Montreal to see him before he left for his next competition._

_“Scotty!”_

_Scott looked over the older man in the wheelchair; he did seem frailer than the last time._

_“How are you, G?”_

_“Eh, can’t complain. Some aches and pains. Food here’s terrible. At least your mom and aunt bring me dinner once a week. How are you? How’s my Tessie?”_

_“Good. She’s good. Back in Montreal. We have Four Continents coming up.”_

_“You gonna win?”_

_“We’re certainly going to try.”_

_The two chatted about the family and the newest grandkids. Scott glanced over at the television which had been on mute._

_“Moulin Rouge. Ever see this movie, G-Mac?”_

_“No, is it any good?”_

_“Yeah it is. It’s with Nicole Kidman. She plays a prostitute. Actually, a courtesan named Satine. She’s supposed to be matched with a Duke but she ends up falling for that guy, Christian, who’s a writer. And, he falls madly in love with her. But, they can’t be together or the Duke will kill Christian. I don’t want to give it all away. Do you wanna watch it?”_

_“Eh, maybe for a little bit. When did you see it?”_

_“With Tess when it first came out.”_

_“Oh yeah?” His grandfather winked._

_No matter how many times he told his grandfather that he and Tessa were not dating, the older man would always wave him off. When Danny married his wife Tessa, his grandfather whispered to him at the wedding that Scott should be the one to marry a Tessa._

_They watched the movie for a while, G-Mac providing his own commentary about how pretty Nicole Kidman was even if she wore a lot of makeup, or that he liked the singing and the vibrant sets._

_“Scotty.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“I wanna give you some advice.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Now don’t get mad at me. I know you say you and Tessie are just friends. But, your Grandma Jean and I were friends too.”_

_Scott cut him off. “G-Mac…”_

_“Listen to me. I’m 90 years old, damnit. I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know. So let me just say this. You and Tessie have something real special. Not just when you skate. That girl is the best thing that has ever happened in your life. She’s smart, she’s beautiful, she’s kind. And you’re off running around with girls with half her talents and smarts. Now, I liked Kaitlyn, but that’s over. You and Tessie have been together almost your entire lives. You’re like…” He nodded over to the television. “You love each other and for some damn reason you’re either too stubborn or too dumb to see it. Now, I know you’re not dumb, grandson. So stop being so stubborn.”_

_“You done?” Scott raised his eyebrows._

_“Don’t you start with me.”_

_“I’m not. It’s just that Tess and I are not like that. I’ve told you that like a hundred times. We love each other, just not in that way. We’re just really good friends. We love skating together. We love…”_

_“Scotty, stop it!”_

_Scott froze. His grandfather had never raised his voice at him before._

_“Don’t get me upset. I know I don’t have a lot of time left. And, I’m not gonna spend it arguing with my grandson. A blind man could see you’re in love with her. Why won’t you tell her?”_

_Scott sat quietly for a moment. “I dunno. I dunno if I love her, or what it is.”_

_“Take it from me, you love her. And, you best do something about it before someone else takes what’s yours.”_

_“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t see me that way. That’s not an option for us.”_

_“The hell it’s not. You think this Christian fellow thought he would fall for the hooker?”_

_Scott started to laugh. “I hardly think Tess is…”_

_“I know, I know. I’m just saying we never know who we’ll fall in love with or why. But, life only gives you so many chances. Take yours. I’ve known Tessie since she was a little girl. She’s in love with you.”_

_“She’s way better than me and she deserves way better.”_

_“That’s bullshit and you know it. Better than you? You’re a gifted young man. Smart, kind, and handsome, despite that giant Moir nose. Your father’s fault. Trust me, Scotty. Don’t lose the chance you have. Don’t think she’d better off with someone else. Promise me.”_

_Two months later, Scott and Tessa won Four Continents and a few weeks later, his grandfather passed away. And, Scott never spoke of the promise he made him. Until this morning._

Tessa used a wooden spoon to shuffle the chicken breasts around the deep skillet. Her phone vibrated and she checked it, finding a new text from Morgan.

She snapped a photo of the chicken and sent it to him along with a chef emoji.

_Morgan: I know you did not make that._

_Tessa: Maybe I did._

_Morgan: Then you’re holding out on me._

_Tessa: I have to keep some things a mystery._

_Morgan: If you’re a world class chef, that’s not a secret you should keep. I almost starved living with you._

_Tessa: I fed you. In other ways._

_Morgan: Stop._

_Tessa: xoxo_

_Morgan: Love you._

“Hey, how’s cookin’?”

Tessa jumped at the sound of Scott’s voice. “Good!”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.”

“The water should be boiling soon. But, first give me your arm.”

“I don’t need a Band-Aid, T.”

“Yes, you do. You don’t want it to get infected.”

Scott playfully huffed and gave her his elbow.

Tessa squeezed out a bit of Neosporin onto her fingertip and delicately rubbed it on to his scrape. She carefully pressed the bandage into place.

“All done.” She assured him.

Scott twirled pasta onto his fork. “I spoke to my mom today and she wanted to know if we were up for a game of euchre tomorrow night.”

Sweet Alma. No matter what issues were going on between Tessa and Scott, his mother always found time for her. She never treated Tessa like anything other than a daughter. The whole Moir family exuded kindness towards her, although Cara was a bit cold to her now. She chalked it up to her looking out for her best friend, Jackie. It was Scott’s older cousin who re-introduced the happy couple. Scott was itching for a permanent relationship and to start a family. So who better than his former skating partner? Jackie had come home to attend her grandmother’s funeral and Cara took the opportunity to play matchmaker. In the midst of a slightly drunken evening at the cottage with Jordan, Tessa delivered an unflattering monologue about Cara and Jackie including how she thought it was tacky and a bit desperate to hook up during a family tragedy while still being married. Jordan pointed out Jackie was separated. Tessa, emboldened by her three glasses of wine, retorted that their father used the same tactic to explain away his taking up with a woman after leaving their mother.

“Euchre might be fun.” Tessa nodded.

“Did you have enough to eat?” Scott asked.

“Hmm mmm. I’m so full. It was delicious. Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” Scott got up to clear the dishes.

“I can do them. You cooked.”

“It’s fine. I got ‘em.”

They worked together to clean up the kitchen and Tessa poured them each another glass of wine. Liquid courage she would need to get through a life-altering conversation. Maybe they could just skip it and pretend nothing happened. There didn’t seem to be a good reason why they needed to confront these long buried truths.

Scott turned the television to HGTV. Ever since he began his home renovation in earnest again, he found himself watching more home improvement shows.

Halfway through the program, the recessed lights began to flicker overhead. Tessa nervously watched the storm outside. The rain fell in sheets against the house and the wind rattled the windows. A large clap of thunder reverberated through the house; each low rumble flowed into the next. It sounded like enormous bowling balls rolling around.

“S’okay, T.”

“I hate storms.”

“I know.”

A crack of lighting forked across the sky followed by a loud boom of thunder and they were plunged into darkness.

Tessa shrieked. Scott instinctively grabbed her to him as the sound of pellets hit the roof.

“Oh my god, is that hail?” She asked, afraid to open her eyes.

“Yeah it is. We should light some candles and get flashlights.”

Their phones went off simultaneously with storm warnings advising of heavy damaging winds, large-sized hail, locally intense rainfall and the sighting of a rotation in the thunderstorm indicating a possible tornado.

Scott rubbed Tessa’s back and started to stand up.

Tessa grabbed his arm. “Wait! Where are you going? I’ll come with you.”

Scott navigated the way to the kitchen and stopped. “Where do you keep the flashlights, T?”

She hesitated.

“Tell me you have flashlights.”

“I do. I just hardly am ever home. Let me try to remember where I put them.”

The storm continued raging outside.

Scott checked his phone. He was grateful he had plugged it in during dinner and it was fully charged.

Tessa began opening cabinets and with each search she became more defeated. She stood up and sighed.

“Maybe the garage?” She wondered.

Even in the dark, she could see the patience leaving Scott’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.

“It’s fine, Tess. I’ll go look and you stay here. Just give me an idea of where in the garage.”

“You can’t possibly go out there in this weather.” The detached space was at the back of her property.

“Do you have a better idea? We need flashlights. How much power do you have left on your phone?”

“About 85 percent. You?”

“Hundred percent. I charged it during dinner. Okay, I’m gonna run right out to the garage, look for the flashlights and I’ll be back.”

“Scott, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t want you to go out there. ”

“Aw, T. You care.” He tried to joke with her.

“Of course I do,” she sounded worried.

“I know. I was just joking with you. I’ll be fine. It’s just water.”

“Please be careful.”

Scott threw his muddy sneakers back on and opened the back door. The wind whipped the rain at his face, as he ran towards the garage; it felt like he was being stabbed by a thousand needles. Tessa anxiously watched him disappear into the storm. She should have gone with him. Add this to the list of dumb ideas they both had this week.

Scott opened the door to the garage and nearly slipped on the concrete floor. He shone the light from his phone onto the space in front of him and groaned. For all of Tessa’s ‘type A’ personality traits, neatness wasn’t among them. There was discarded furniture from her previous apartments and several boxes stacked against the wall. An old bicycle with two flat tires was propped against the boxes. Her gleaming white Acura SUV was parked in the middle. He found a storage closet and opened the doors. Inside were plastic bins of holiday decorations and a box marked “Scott and Tessa”. He pulled it out and gently nudged the tape strip off the side of the box and opened the top. Inside were gifts from fans; cards and small scrapbooks. He swept his hair back and carefully wiped water droplets off the plastic protecting the contents. He couldn’t bear to look anymore. He missed skating with her. Holding her in his arms, just the two of them in a grungy rink, the sound of their blades as they sped across the ice.

“Get a fucking grip.” He scolded himself.

He sealed the box back up and put it away. He found a box labelled hardware supplies that contained wallpaper samples and an old Arkells CD. Tessa’s organizational skills left something to be desired. He shut the doors and moved on to the workbench. He rummaged through a plastic box and nestled inside were two flashlights. He flicked the larger one on and miraculously it worked. He swept the light over the workbench and stopped on a small basket wrapped in plastic. He pulled it towards him. Inside were several dog toys, a small book about Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retrievers, a pink collar, and leash. There was a card inside imprinted with the words “Red Shadow Kennels”.

_Tessa and Morgan,_

_We are so excited to welcome you to the Red Shadow family. Zoë is a lucky pup to call you ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. She can’t wait to go home with you._

_Thank you and congratulations, Caroline and the team._

Scott swallowed. A dog. They were getting a dog. He stood there in her garage and fought back tears. A dog was almost like having a baby. He knew Tessa and Morgan were serious. He could tell when the four of them had a Zoom session back in April. The look in Tessa’s eyes. She was in love, probably for the first time in her life. Even Jackie remarked at how ‘gone’ Tessa looked. He should be happy for her, she deserved love. The kind of love that lifted her up, protected her, made her weak in the knees. But all he could feel was jealousy, envy, and utter sadness. If she—they-- he corrected himself, were getting a dog, there was no hope.

Tessa paced her kitchen floor. The storm was not letting up and the last few thunderclaps worried her.

Her phone sounded another alert. This one more ominous than the first.

Scott jumped when his phone alert went off again. This time the woman’s computerized voice warned a funnel cloud had been spotted in Arva and was moving southeast towards London. Residents were advised to seek shelter in basements.

Tessa panicked. Should she go get Scott or call him? She texted him to come back and to forget the flashlights if he hadn’t found them.

Scott placed the basket back where he found it and shoved his phone in his pocket to keep it dry. He found an old Loblaw’s plastic bag and put the flashlights along with several batteries inside of it. He opened the door and the wind nearly knocked him back into the garage.

He forced his way outside and locked the door.

Tessa checked her phone and chastised him for not responding. She looked out the window towards the garage but the driving rain made it impossible to see anything. Her heart was pounding. Why did she let him go out into this storm? Why didn’t she have flashlights in the house? If something happened to him, she’d never forgive herself. And, certainly Jackie never would. She knew she was being ridiculous. He was not going to get hurt, but still, she had an uneasy feeling she couldn’t shake.

Minutes ticked by. She tried calling him, but it went to his voicemail. She texted him again and then walked to the back door hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Lightning blinked across the sky and she could see just how dangerous the storm was—trees were bending and there were large puddles in her backyard. The wind began to whistle. She gave up on worrying her bottom lip and began to chew on her thumbnail.

Scott couldn’t see a foot in front of him. He stood under the small eave of the garage and waited. The last lightning strike lit up Tessa’s backyard. He knew she must be terrified. Ever since she was a little girl, Tessa was afraid of storms. Oftentimes in Canton, she would call him on the phone during a storm just to have him comfort her. And, when they moved to Montreal and wound up living two floors apart, he would walk down the few flights to her apartment and spend the night whenever a bad storm fired up. It’s how he knew she was restless when she slept.

Goddamn him. Tessa alternated between seething and worry. Scott had now been gone fifteen minutes. Soon, she would have to possibly head to the basement for her own safety, but she couldn’t leave him alone. She knew the garage was strong; she had built it back in 2015. But, was it strong enough to withstand a tornado? She was being melodramatic. This wasn’t Kansas.

The rain eased up. And so did Tessa’s anxiousness. It looked like the wind was settling down. All good signs. Surely, Scott would use the lull in the stormy weather to come back.

The alert went off again. She shrieked and laughed at her own jumpiness.

The voice warned again of a funnel cloud spotted in the Arva area heading southeast.

_“Residents are advised to seek shelter in a basement or a bathroom in the center of the house. Do not stay outside. Signs of a tornado include dark skies, often greenish. A wall of clouds or a swirl of debris. Hail without rain. Often before a tornado touches down, the wind abruptly stops. Please be aware of any warning sirens.”_

Tessa’s panic kicked into high gear as she looked outside. She swallowed tears. A low rumble of thunder and then a bolt of lightning.

And, then she saw him.

He was running across the lawn towards the house. She had never been so happy to see him.

Before he could reach the porch, she flung the door open. As soon as he got to her, she threw her arms around him. He hugged her back.

She squeezed him tightly.

“Tess, it’s okay.”

He could feel her shaking and held her tighter trying to soothe her.

She pulled back and swatted his shoulder three times. “I texted you! I was really worried.”

He held up the bag. “I’m sorry. My phone was in my pocket.”

She shut the door behind him and locked it. He toed off his shoes and handed her a flashlight. She grabbed a blanket off the couch. He stopped off in the kitchen and snagged four bottles of water and some candy. He figured chocolate would help calm her down.

Down in the basement, Tessa arranged the blankets on the couch. Scott set the waters and candy on a sideboard under the television. He opened one of the doors and saw board games. At least they’d have something to do besides worry.

He turned around. She was fussing with her wireless battery charger for her phone. Four large candles were lit. She looked up at him and offered him a small smile, but he could see the fear in her eyes.

“It’s okay, Virtch. We’ll be fine.” He walked towards her.

She didn’t want to hug him, to need him. But, she did. There was no way she could turn off her feelings for him. He was still her best friend. The person who knew her best.

He buried his nose in her neck the way he used to and felt her body relax.

“Let’s go sit on the couch.”

The soft gray unstructured couch came with two large ottomans that butted up against the front and made it more like a bed. It was not at all something Tessa would normally gravitate towards, but he convinced her to buy it.

_March 2018_

_“T, it’s way comfy. You need a comfy couch.”_

_“I have very comfortable couches.” She wiped her nose with a tissue, the last of her post-Olympic bronchitis._

_“You do, but this is for the basement. That’s more of a loungey, kick back and put your feet up area.”_

_“Loungey? Is that an interior design term I’m not familiar with?”_

_“Excuse me. I meant to say the aesthetic of your underground living room is more casual and guest-oriented.”_

_She laughed so loudly another customer looked over. Scott shrugged his shoulders at the woman who suddenly realized she was face to face with her hometown Olympic gold medallists. Her eyes grew wide and she did a half-wave. Scott waved back. She turned her attention to Tessa who was still laughing. Scott knew how it looked. The Canadian “sweethearts” shopping for a couch just a month after they melted the ice with their steamy routine and denied they were a couple._

_“Sit on it with me.” Tessa pulled him over._

_They flopped down. Tessa dragged the ottoman over and stretched out._

_“This is heavenly.” She sniffled._

_“Right? Told you so.”_

_“It’s not polite to rub it in.” She side-eyed him._

_“You know it would just be easier if you always took my advice.” He adjusted so his head was in her lap and hung his feet over the arm rest._

_“Comfy?” She looked down at him._

_He wiggled his upper body and settled down. “Perfect.”_

_Tessa combed her fingers through his hair, she envied its thickness. With his eyes closed, he resembled a contented puppy. She joined him and closed her eyes, but she kept playing with his hair._

_“Everything alright over here?”_

_They both jumped at the sound of the woman’s voice._

_“Oh yes!” Tessa answered. “Just trying it out. Sorry.”_

_“No, no. That’s why we have them out here so you can get a feel for how they’ll work in your home. How large of a space do you and your husband have?”_

_“Oh, we’re not…”_

_“It’s for a basement.” Scott cut her off and sat up. “I keep telling her we need something comfortable and casual, you know—a place to kick up our feet and snuggle.”_

_“Well, this would fit the bill. It’s an excellent snuggle couch.” The saleswoman agreed._

_“Didja hear that, T. Fits the bill.” He winked at her._

_“It’s on sale right now too, 30-percent off.”_

_“Even better.” Scott smiled._

_Tessa sighed. “Do you deliver?”_

_“We do.”_

_“Guess I’m buying a couch.”_

_“Whoo hoo!”_

Tessa tucked her legs and pulled the blanket up. “You tricked me into buying this couch.”

“I did no such thing.” He stretched his legs out. “You wanted this couch. You just needed a little encouragement.”

“It is very comfortable. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen asleep on it.”

“I’m an excellent shopping companion.” He waggled his eyebrows.

She giggled. “Yes, you are.”

The rain started to pick up again. Tessa turned her iPad on and found CTV. Reta Ismail was confirming the sighting of a funnel cloud but said it appeared to have dissipated.

_“We aren’t out of the woods by any means. There are still powerful winds in the area, and so you should follow the advice of Environment Canada and seek shelter in a basement and stay there. Another humongous storm is making its way across the area coming from the west hitting Ilderton, Komoka, Kilworth Heights, and into London bringing with it severe rain—in some parts up to seventy-six millimeters as well as damaging wind gusts of at least sixty to sixty-five kilometers per hour…”_

Scott texted his parents to check on them and to let them know he and Tessa were fine. He thought about reaching out to Jackie, but decided not to.

“Scott?”

“Hmm?” He finished typing up a response to his mother’s text, hit send and looked up.

Tessa knew if she put off talking much longer she would never do it. She would never have the courage. For some reason, the idea of a storm that could do severe damage was less frightening than talking to the man who had been by her side for most of her life.

She braced herself and asked the question that had been holding her hostage ever since he told her.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why now? When we’re both obviously so happy. What’s the point?”

Scott looked down at his hands. “I dunno.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“Believe me, T. I’ve asked myself that question a lot today. And, if I’m being truthful, not just today. I think I convinced myself a long time ago we weren’t meant to be. The longer we skated together and the more we won, it just made sense to not tempt fate.”

“So you said nothing for 22 years?”

Scott swiped his hand across the side of his neck. “Yeah. Well, I promise you I never meant to hurt you or screw up our partnership. It was incredibly selfish of me to even say anything at all. I’m engaged; at least I think I still am. You and Morgan are clearly headed that way.”

Tessa ignored the comment and played with her ring. “Does she know?”

Scott got up to grab a bottle of water. He handed her one and sat down on the ottoman in front of her.

“When we first got together, she asked me if you and I ever dated. I told her it wasn’t like that. I don’t think she believed me. But, as we got more serious, she realized she didn’t have to worry about us. Trust was a big issue in her marriage.”

“I’m just trying to understand why you would propose to a woman if you…”

“Would I’ve even had a chance with you Tessa? Would you have given us a chance?”

The basement had three long windows along the back wall, but the storm left the room dark and the candles only provided a minimal amount of light. Even though she was right in front of him, Scott could barely make out Tessa’s face, but he didn’t need to see it. Long ago, he memorized every freckle, every shade of green in her eyes, even the tiny gap between her front teeth.

“I knew. I think I’ve always known.”

The storm lashed against the side of the house. The dramatic punch to her confession, not that it needed one.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He volleyed back.

“The same reason you didn’t. Suze was very clear with us. Our partnership was the most important thing. We had to nurture that before anything else. I don’t know if we could have handled a romantic partnership and skating. I mean, look at Zach and Madi. Look what happened to David and Jamie.”

Scott raised an eyebrow. He had heard the whispers for years about Tessa being a homewrecker, a cheater, and worse. There were several times he told people to fuck off when they started up about it. He was not a fan of David’s, thought he treated Tessa like crap and didn’t step up when he should have and protect her. In fact, he told him so right after they won gold at the Vancouver Games. Scott wasn’t proud of the confrontation, he had been drinking, but David was an asshole and deserved it.

“I think not dating made our skating better, it certainly helped our chemistry. Because we couldn’t be together; we could pour that energy into our storytelling on the ice.” Tessa concluded.

“You never thought about it? Ever?” He pressed.

Now it was Tessa’s turn to sidestep the question. “Training and competition took up all of my time. It consumed me.”

“Susan would say you’re deflecting.”

“What do you want me to say? That every time you ignored me in favor of your girlfriends, it hurt. That every time I saw you with a girl, I was jealous. That when you’d talk about a girl you liked, I was envious and wished it was me. The truth is I liked making your girlfriends jealous. I knew I could always get your attention. And it made them mad and it made me feel in control.”

“Why do it?”

“I’d watch everyone else and see how they would fight and it seemed like such a waste of time. And, when the media and the fans took notice of us and started the whole ‘are they or aren’t they’, I thought why not. Part of me knew it helped with judging so I played it up. I’m not proud of the way I acted.”

“So you never thought what it would be like if we were together?”

“We’re totally different people, Scott. We approach life in very different ways. We make total sense on ice, we’re great business partners. But off ice, we’d drive each other crazy.”

Scott felt like he had been punched in the gut. He was so sure Tessa felt the way he did, but now she was telling him it was all an act, to sway the judges, to earn the Media’s attention, and to rile up their fans.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He held her gaze. “I know you. Better than anybody. Better than you know yourself. You’re not that good of an actress. You’re right. We are _very_ different people. But, what happened in Scotland, the comeback, everything after PyeongChang… none of that was fake. You got scared and you pushed me away. And, now you’re trying to make yourself feel better by saying you never even considered us. We both know that’s a lie.”

“Wait a second. You’re the one who hid how you felt for years. You told Anastasia you’d have to get away from me in order to have a proper relationship, to find a life partner. Because you can’t handle having a girlfriend and a friendship with me. And, I’m the one who’s scared? Talk about spineless!”

“How is that spineless? It’s the truth. My girlfriends were always mad about the amount of time we spent together and if you and I were having trouble connecting or we were fighting, I felt guilty like I was letting you down. I couldn’t win.”

“That’s a ‘you’ problem.” Her voice grew in strength. “Those are your insecurities. Don’t project onto me. I’ve never asked you for anything. Not a single thing.”

“No, instead you manipulated everyone’s emotions including mine.” His voice rose to match hers as he stood up. He needed space. On the verge of losing control and saying something he would regret.

“It’s not my fault you pick women who clearly have jealousy issues. Or maybe you just aren’t very good at making them feel like there’s nothing to worry about.” She spat.

Scott stood still. Tessa knew she had gone too far. But, she couldn’t take it back. And, that was the thing no one really knew about Tessa Virtue except for Scott Moir. She could be venomous when she wanted. It took a lot to drive her to that point but when she got there, she rarely missed her target. 

“I—I’m sorry.” She stammered.

Scott slumped against the credenza and wrapped his arms around his chest. “I deserved that.”

“No, you didn’t. You don’t.” She crossed the small space between them. “It was childish of me.”

“You’re getting a dog.”

“What? How do you know about...” She looked confused.

“I saw the basket in the garage. A toller? They’re great.”

“They are—“

“You’re in love with him, T. He makes you happy. You deserve to be happy.” His eyes filled with tears and he swallowed thickly. “I want you to be happy. I just wanted—“

Tessa reached up and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now what?
> 
> How will Scott react?  
> Will Tessa have a confession of her own?


	4. The Truth is I've Always Known

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott wrestle with their emotions and take a few trips down memory lane  
> A blockbuster confession leads to dangerous territory and a heartbreaking decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are!  
> A new chapter!  
> Thank you for your patience. I know a few of you are still reading so enjoy this chapter.  
> And as always, many thanks to Rook who said this was her favorite chapter yet. (I'm flying high after that compliment)

“You’re in love with him, T. He makes you happy. You deserve to be happy.” His eyes filled with tears and he swallowed thickly. “I want you to be happy. I just wanted—“

Tessa reached up and kissed him.

Scott’s brain needed a few seconds to register what was happening but once it did, he let himself have this one moment he had waited his entire life for before reality screamed its demanding head off and he abruptly backed off.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have--” She put her hands up as if that would be enough to stop her from doing it again.

The excuses came flooding out of her mouth in a torrent. “I don’t know why I just did that. I didn’t mean to. I…”

_Why wasn’t Scott saying anything? Why was he standing there staring at her?_

“Please say something.” She pleaded.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Scott whispered hoarsely.

“Anything. Say anything. Tell me you’re mad at me. That what I did was wrong.”

“I can’t.”

“Scott.”

“I only stopped you because it was the right thing to do. Not because I wanted to.”

“Okay, you can relax now, Mr. McElroy. You did really well. Your oxygen levels are up. And, your lungs sound better too. How do you feel?” Jackie asked her patient.

“Like I’ve been run over by a truck about a million times and then flattened by a bulldozer.” The older gentleman wheezed as he tried to joke with the pretty pulmonary therapist.

“I’m so sorry. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are getting better. It’s just going to take time.”

“That’s all I got right now.”

“Have you spoken with your wife today?” She asked as she checked his IV bag.

“Not yet. I wanna check on her because of the storm.”

Jackie looked out the window. “It does look pretty awful. There was a tornado spotting earlier, but it seems to be moving away from us.”

“What about you? You got a husband?”

Jackie smiled. “A fiancé.”

“Oh, what’s he do?”

“He’s uh… he owns a family business and he’s starting to coach. Ice skating.”

“Really? How’s that going for him?”

Jackie adjusted her mask. “He just started, but I think he’ll be really good. He’s a fantastic ice skater.”

“Is he as good as that Moir fella from around here that won the Olympics? Now, he’s good. So’s his partner, Tessa. I remember her. Coronavirus or no coronavirus.” He winked.

“Mr. McElroy, how are you doing?” A young female doctor interrupted them.

“Eh. I was just telling Jackie I feel like a truck ran over me. But, she says I’m doing better.”

The doctor finished washing her hands and removed her stethoscope from her neck and wiped it down with an alcohol swab.

“I think she may be right.” She smiled at Jackie as she listened to his lungs.

Jackie excused herself and left the room. She slipped her phone out of her pocket and checked to see if Scott had texted or called. She had told him she wanted to take a break, but she didn’t think that meant he would never speak to her again. His silence worried her. The storm did too. When she heard about the tornado and the power outages, she hoped he and Tessa were okay. She scrolled through her phone and sent a quick text to Alma.

_Jackie: Hi! Hope you and Joe are okay. Have you heard from Scott?_

_Alma: We’re good. No power. But, we’re managing. We headed to the basement and are playing card games. Scott’s good. He and Tessa are in her basement. No power either._

_Jackie: Okay, that’s good. Be safe. Gotta go back to work._

_Alma: Okay, hon. You too._

Jackie slumped against the wall. At least, Scott was okay. Of course, he was okay. He was with Tessa. He was always okay when he was with Tessa.

Morgan flipped the channel to Sportsnet and tried to ignore the fact his girlfriend basically hung up on him and the only communication between them in the last hour was a short text that simply said, ‘No power. Scott and I are heading to the basement’.

“Mo!” Auston shut the door to the hotel room. ”Whaddya wanna watch tonight?” He dropped onto the couch next to his friend.

“I dunno. What haven’t we seen?”

“Depends on what you’re in the mood for? Comedy? Action?” He leaned his head on Morgan’s shoulder. “Rom-com?”

“We need to get you a girlfriend, dude.”

“Maybe yours has a friend? Freddie was of no help when we were in Scottsdale.” Auston raised his eyebrow.

“Mine’s currently isolating with her skating partner in her basement.”

Auston looked puzzled.

“A storm knocked out the power.” Morgan waved it off.

Auston wasn’t buying his friend’s nonchalant attitude. “You got nothing to worry about.”

Morgan sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

Mitch pushed open the door. “What’s up?” He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge.

“We’re deciding what to watch and Morgan’s pretending not to be upset that Tessa’s isolating with Moir.” Auston shot Mitch a look.

Morgan shrugged his shoulders. “I just never had to share my girlfriend with another guy. I get that they’re business partners. And, I know they’re close and all that and they can’t help that they’re stuck together. I dunno. I think this bubble shit is getting to me.”

Mitch leaned forward in his chair. “This whole thing’s fucked up for all of us. I miss Steph like crazy. And, if she were isolating with another dude, I’d be pissed no matter who it was. I get it. But, it’s all good.”

Morgan grunted his agreement, but he wasn’t so sure. He trusted Tessa and Scott, but he also knew they had a two-decade long history. The longest relationship he had with a woman was his mother. He knew he had to push aside his feelings of doubt and be secure in his relationship. Easier said than done.

Tessa scooted into the corner of the couch and pulled her legs to her chest. Scott stayed across the room; he didn’t trust himself to sit next to her.

She had kissed him.

And, he kissed her back.

He should have been furious with himself, but all he wanted to do was kiss her again.

From the moment he met Tessa Virtue, he was captivated by her and he couldn’t understand it. He was not quite nine years old when she walked into the Ilderton Arena in her pink sweat suit and matching enormous gloves, and her hair in a bun. He pretended not to notice the seven-year-old even though he would always look for her on the ice.

A few months after Tessa first appeared, his cousins and their friend, Jordan, who happened to be Tessa’s sister, began making comments. He and Tessa had just started skating together.

_Isn’t Tessa cute?_

_You guys would look so cute together._

_You should ask Tessa to be your girlfriend._

It was all so embarrassing, but so was being the only boy in grade four without a girlfriend. So he decided to ask Tessa to be his girlfriend. She was really cute. Her hair was shiny and brown and she had the most amazing green eyes he had ever seen. She said yes immediately and that was the last time they spoke. For some reason, he always got nervous around her and tongue-tied. He knew what he wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Twenty years later and he still had the same problem. He managed to confess he was in love with her, but the reasons why—though plentiful—just wouldn’t come out. His brain was all jumbled with emotions.

Tessa could kick herself. What was she thinking kissing Scott? She had no clue why she did it.

That was a lie.

She was in love with him.

For years, she denied it. To herself and to anyone who asked. And even if they didn’t ask, she always made a point to mention how they were just friends. Her whole world was wrapped up in the cute Moir boy. Until it wasn’t. Scott always teased Tessa that she never remembered her life before him. She definitely remembered the first time she saw him.

_September 1997. She begged her mother to let her take ice skating lessons so that she wouldn’t be the only student in grade one who couldn’t skate on the class field trip. Her mother signed her up for lessons at the Ilderton Arena. She had heard good things about Carol and Alma Moir and it was close enough that Noni could take her and pick her up._

_The cavernous arena was freezing, the difference between the warmer late summer day and the inside temperature was noticeable. It even smelled cold. Tessa’s hands were starting to feel the effects of the chill. She was thrilled her mother had purchased mittens for her and she felt a sense of excitement as she slipped them on. She sat very still as Carol Moir laced up her skates even though her entire body was buzzing with excitement. Carol’s nephew, Danny, was hovering nearby on the ice practicing his figure eights and spread eagles. Tessa thought he was an amazing skater and very handsome._

_“Danny, tell your brother to stop fooling around and get over here. Class is starting.”_

_Tessa watched intently as Danny glided across the ice and chased after a young boy who was skating as fast as he could around the perimeter. Whatever Danny had said to him didn’t go over as well as the young boy shook his head no. Danny grabbed the boy’s shoulders playfully and steered him towards the group. As he came closer, Tessa nervously chewed on her lip. He was really cute. He wasn’t much taller than her; he had brown hair and brown eyes. He said something to a group of girls and they all giggled and played with their hair. One of the girls called him Scotty._

_Learning to skate wasn’t as hard as Tessa thought it would be, she’d caught on quickly and found that she enjoyed it. Carol complimented her several times. Scotty was a very good skater, but he was always goofing off. His aunt tried to keep him in line, but he was mischievous and loved to get a rise out of the girls in the class and they were only too happy to shower him with attention._

_A month later, Carol asked her to skate around the rink with Scotty. Several of the other girls had tried it already and they weren’t very good, in Tessa’s opinion. Scotty liked to skate fast and didn’t like how slow the girls skated. Tessa grabbed his hand, and even though her mittens were comically large, her hand felt so small in his. He started off slowly and as they made their way around the first bend, he sped up. Tessa skated faster. Scott pushed. Tessa kept up. She was quite pleased that she never fell behind, and she could tell Scotty was impressed too. When they finished their three laps, they skated over to Carol and Kate who were waiting by the boards._

_“Tessa, your mom and I were talking. Scotty needs a new partner for ice dancing. I think you would be wonderful. Would you like to skate with Scotty?”_

_Tessa stared at the ice and then up at Scott. She looked over at her mother who was smiling._

_“It’s your decision.” Kate said. “Just remember, you have ballet and gymnastics.”_

_“I like ice skating. I want to skate with Scotty.” Tessa rubbed her lips together._

_“Scotty, what do you say?” Carol raised her eyebrows._

_“Yeah. Sure.”_

_“Okay then. Well, we can start next Saturday. You have to be here at 8am.”_

_“Yes. I promise.” Tessa nodded her head._

_Scott put out his hand. “Let’s shake on it. And call me Scott. I hate Scotty.”_

Tessa watched as Scott played with the latch on the sideboard, opening and closing it. She knew she had to say something, but she was afraid she might blurt out the one thing she never had the courage to say.

“Please don’t break my furniture.” She gently admonished him.

“When are you supposed to get Zo—your puppy?”

Typical Virtue and Moir, she thought. Their low points or fights always followed the same pattern. Afraid to express their true emotions, they’d table them and forge ahead into neutral territory before circling around to the real problem.

“The breeder said July, but it could be sooner. Wanna see a photo of her?”

That meant Scott would have to sit on the couch.

Next to Tessa.

He hesitated for a few seconds and then walked over and sat down as she held her phone out.

Scott’s face broke into a huge grin. The puppy was adorable. She was quite literally the cutest puppy he had ever seen. Her amber eyes looking up into the camera, downy-soft ears slightly perked up, and a smidge of pink tongue poking out. His heart broke all over again. He had let himself dream about a day when he and Tessa would get a puppy. A starter model, so to speak, before they tried their hand at parenting. Pancake Sundays and hockey games. Little League. Soccer. Ice skating, for sure. Lazy weekends at their cottage. Christmas with his parents. A life with Tessa Virtue.

“She’s so cute, T.” He chuckled. “Look at those paws. She’s gonna be a big girl.”

“Yeah, that’s what Morgan says.”

Scott drew his lips into a thin line and nodded his head.

“Wanna play Scrabble?” She asked standing up not giving him a chance to refuse.

The board game between them and each with a rack of seven tiles, Tessa won the chance to go first and grinned wickedly as she laid down her first word.

“Flame. Twenty points.”

“Well done.” Scott set his tiles down as Tessa settled her new pieces onto her rack.

“Melon.” He silently counted as he touched the tiles connected to her word. “Fourteen.”

Several rounds later and the scores were fairly even, Tessa had 125 and Scott had 113.

“Zip.” Scott straightened the ‘P’ in its square. “The Z is on a triple letter space and it’s a double word score. So, that’s 30 and… a total of 66 points.”

“Not bad.” Tessa eyed him.

“Not bad? C’mon on now Virtch, it’s totally awesome.”

“Fine. It’s totally awesome.” She agreed with a laugh.

Tessa arranged and rearranged the tiles on her rack. She’d had enough of walking on eggshells so she employed a technique their couples counselor had taught them in order to get the larger conversation started. Ask a ‘life changing’ question.

“Do you…” she inhaled. “Do you ever think about what your life would be like if we never skated together? If we never met?”

Scott rubbed his fingers up and down his palms, the gesture turning his hands into windshield wipers in a drizzle. It was a nervous habit he displayed when he was uncomfortable talking about something.

“Not really. I don’t think about not meeting you. I think about what my life has been like because of you.”

Tessa sat quietly.

Scott started again. “What about you? Ever think about Tessa Virtue without the great and all-knowing Scott Moir? ”

Tessa fought back a laugh. “Well, when you put it that way.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“Right after Sochi. One day I was walking to class and I realized we hadn’t spoken in like four or five days and I hadn’t noticed. I felt so disconnected from you after all those years by each other’s side. I wondered; does Scott feel this way too. And, that’s when I recognized I didn’t know who I was without you. Without us. I needed to take time to discover who I wanted to be.”

“You shoulda tried drinking yourself into the ground.” Scott suggested sarcastically.

“You eventually figured it out.”

“After I nearly ruined my life and everyone around me.”

“We both struggled, Scott. We weren’t prepared. We didn’t know.”

Scott murmured in agreement. “I was so desperate to be someone other than Scott Moir, Olympian. All of my buddies were married with families and real jobs. They had real problems. And, I was busy following Kaitlyn around like a fucking tool and running as far and as fast as I could from anything skating. I learned too late that I needed a place to throw my focus. To have a goal. Discipline. Some kind of daily structure. I had to finally admit what I truly missed was skating, skating with you.”

Tessa stopped playing with her tiles and looked at him.

He stared back at her, a game of chicken. She gave in first, the blessing and the curse of having someone who knows you better than you do.

Tessa shifted her attention to the blanket on her lap and picked lint off it. “And, then with the comeback I was so busy concentrating on winning a gold medal that I never thought about my life after the Olympics, at least not a personal life. We came back home and it was a whirlwind of television appearances, sponsors, the tours. I just kept saying yes because I didn’t know any other answer.”

“You were too afraid to give any other answer.”

Tessa shrugged her shoulders knowing he was right.

“Watching you fall apart really scared me, T. I finally knew how my family felt when I was self-destructing. Sometimes I think I should’ve done more. Been there for you.”

“No. You did try to help. I just…”

Her words trailed off and they were left with the rhythmic sound of the rain and wind pelting the roof.

Tessa swallowed thickly, but the truth still bubbled to the surface. “I wouldn’t trade any of my life, if it meant not having _you_ in it.”

The way she said ‘you’ made him want to spend the rest of his life with her. Why did everything with them always have to be so complicated?

Scott watched the candlelight catch the tears forming in her eyes.

“Scott. I Ii—“

The thunder exploded like a bomb detonating as their phones signaled another storm warning. Both of them jumped, Tessa shrieked.

“Shit!” Scott clutched his chest breathing hard. “You okay?”

She nodded quickly, a startled look on her face.

Scott slumped back against the couch frame.

Tessa glanced towards the rattling windows. She knew they were safe in the basement, but the intensity of the storm worried her. So did the fact she almost confessed her deepest secret to Scott.

Auston and Mitch said goodbye and headed to their rooms. Morgan checked his phone. It was nearly eleven and still no message from Tessa. He took a swig of his beer and told himself to stop being an idiot. His girlfriend was not a cheater.

At the start of the pandemic, he and Tessa had a double date, of sorts, on zoom with Scott and Jackie. He and Jackie laughed at how their respective life partners finished each other’s sentences and had their own private jokes. They even made light of it saying they were going to form their own partnership called ‘J-Mo’. The conversation was fun and easy for the foursome. They’d never be the couples who went out to dinner, but they could be friendly. While Morgan knew this relationship felt differently than his others and Tessa confessed she had never been in love like this before, he still couldn’t get rid of the tiny voice in the back of his mind telling him something wasn’t right.

On a walk in the woods one April morning behind Morgan’s house in Vancouver, he asked Tessa about her relationship with Scott. She insisted, almost dismissively, she never saw him in a romantic way. Instead they focused on their friendship and partnership which was crucial to winning competitions. There was no room for anything else. He accepted her answer. But months later, Morgan listened to her interview with Lilah Fear and even though she said Morgan was the one person she was most herself around, he heard the hesitation when Lilah asked if she ever thought about a romantic relationship with Scott. Tessa had lied to him. Maybe to spare his feelings, maybe to hide hers. He wasn’t sure. He was sure Scott knew all of Tessa’s secrets. Morgan knew he would eventually discover them too, but what she and Scott had was on a different level and that was what really bothered him. No matter how much he learned about Tessa, Scott would always know her better.

He texted her and waited.

_Morgan: Hey babe. Just checking on you. Are u ok?_

_Tessa typing…_

His screen started to dim and then turned off. She had seen the text and started to respond and then stopped. Either the storm was more serious than he realized or his girlfriend was ignoring him.

“You want something to drink?” Scott asked.

They had finished playing Scrabble. He won by fifteen points and were now settled on opposite ends of the couch, feet propped up on the ottomans. The latest weather report indicated the storms would continue throughout the night, with the next big one hitting around midnight. London Hydro indicated they would hopefully have power restored by morning.

“It’s late.” Tessa halfheartedly replied.

“Time doesn’t count when the power’s off.”

She laughed. She always laughed, even when he wasn’t that funny.

“Okay. Why not.”

Scott opened the basement door.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Upstairs to get the wine.”

“But, what if…”

“Tess, it’s fine. The storm’s settled down a bit. It’s just raining. I’ll grab a bottle and some glasses and be right back.” He switched on the flashlight.

He took the stairs two at a time. His nerves were on high alert. A quick scan with the flashlight and he narrowly avoided running into the dining room chairs. In the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of wine and glasses from the cupboard. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He had missed a bunch of texts.

_Jackie: Checking on you. Are u okay?_

_Jackie: Me again. Obvi. U ok?_

_Mom: Dad and I are okay. How are you guys?_

_Jackie: Please just tell me if you’re ok_

_Jackie: Scott. Please._

He put the wine bottle on the counter and typed out a quick message and headed back downstairs.

Whether it was the late hour, the battering her nerves had taken from the storm or everything with Scott, her stomach started rumbling.

“I’m hungry.” She admitted.

“You want me to get up again and get you a snack? Why didn’t you say something before?”

“I wasn’t hungry before.” Tessa jokingly whined.

Scott groaned as he stood up. “What would ma-dam like?”

Tessa tapped her lip with her pointer. “Mmmm. Surprise me!”

Scott rolled his eyes.

He opened up the pantry. Given their lack of supplies, he knew he would have to get creative. His phone buzzed.

_Tessa: I kinda want something salty and sweet._

_Scott MOir typing…_

_Scott MOir: Like you._

He laughed at her response: the emoji face with its hand on its chin looking puzzled.

Tessa clapped her hands excitedly at Scott’s snack-making skills. He was placing each item, one by one, on the ottoman in front of her like a sacred offering. There was a small bowl of leftover chicken puttanesca, a wedge of brie, a hunk of bread, a bag of baby carrots, and an enormous chocolate chip cookie.

“How did I do?”

Tessa opened the lid on the puttanesca container. “Excellent.” She twirled her fork and sucked in the cold noodles and passed the bowl to him.

“S’delicious.” Her cheek bulged with food.

Scott laughed.

“Why is this so good cold?” She asked.

“The flavors have time to marinate. They’ve been hanging out together for a long time. Like us. We got better the more time we spent together.” He shoveled in a forkful of pasta and chicken.

Tessa snorted. “What does puttanesca mean anyhow?”

Scott took another bite. “Whore.”

“Excuse me?”

He answered while chewing. “It means whore.”

“You’re lying.” She reached for her phone and began typing.

She read quietly for a moment.

“And?” The smugness in his voice evident.

“Loosely translated it means ‘lady of the evening’.”

“Loose being the operative word there.” Scott joked.

“Historians are not sure why it was named after ladies of the evening. Some say it was because they could easily make the dish between clients. Others say the aroma reminded them of these women.”

Scott stopped chewing. “The aroma?” He sniffed the bowl and handed it back to Tessa.

“Does this mean you’re letting me have the rest of this?”

He grabbed his wine glass. “I’ll have cheese and bread.”

“Brie’s pretty pungent too.” Tessa examined a piece of chicken before popping it into her mouth.

“Is she now? Well, not everyone can smell like strawberries, T.”

Tessa shook her head as she corrected him. “Vanilla.”

“That too. You want some cheese?”

“Yes, please. This is an excellent snack spread you’ve prepared. I wholeheartedly approve of your efforts.”

“Quite the upgrade from vending machine candy, eh?” He munched on a baby carrot and imitated a rabbit.

Tessa’s laugh travelled across the room as Scott reminded her of the tradition of bringing her candy from hotel vending machines the night before a competition when they were supposed to be sleeping.

“How many times do you think you brought me clandestine treats over the years?”

“Hmmm. Three competitions a year for like twenty years… times two nights for each competition. Uhhhh-- roughly 120, give or take.”

His math skills were a marvel. “You’re a wizard, Harry.”

“That’s me, Hermione.” He pretended to wave a wand.

Tessa dug in for another bite.

“You know it wasn’t about the candy.” He looked over at her.

Tessa slowly pulled the fork from her mouth. Why was he doing this now?

“I know.” Her eyes focused on the bowl of food in her hand.

“You always doubted yourself. You took people’s opinions to heart. I wanted you to see what I did.”

She couldn’t let him go down this path. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable. She wasn’t ready for sweet Scott and all of his sentimental overtures.

“Remember the first time Kaitlyn was my roommate at a competition and she walked in and you were on my bed with me eating candy?” Tessa chuckled. “She asked me to go with her to the bathroom and was like, Tessa—I’m gonna go hang with Andrew, but next time please put the ‘do not disturb’ on the door so I don’t interrupt you guys. I don’t care what you do; I just don’t want to walk in on you doing it. I kept trying to convince her we were literally just eating candy and watching tv.”

“Yeah, I know. Poj gave me fucking shit. He told me to be more considerate and besides didn’t I have a girlfriend? I was like what the fuck do you think I was doing with Tessa?”

“From that day on, Kaitlyn and I always called hooking up with a guy ‘eating candy with him’.”

“Ya still think she and Poj ate candy together?” Scott winked.

“Yes.”

“Wha-t?”

Tessa sipped her wine.

Scott made a face. “What the hell?”

“You still think _I’m_ wrong? They lived together for years. Neither really dated anyone. You saw how they were. I can’t believe you still don’t think they hooked up.”

“Nooo. Nooo. Andrew would’ve told me.”

Tessa cocked her head to the side and grinned.

He wondered how much of this was the wine talking and how much was Tessa’s imagination. Kaitlyn and she used to be close, but something happened. He didn’t know if Kaitlyn was jealous over Tessa’s fame and success or if it went deeper.

Lightning flashed through the window and thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Round three.” Scott stood up. “I’ll take care of the dishes and be right back. Why don’t you check the weather report? Maybe we can leave the basement.”

Scott rinsed out the bowl and stuck it in the dishwasher. He turned around and watched the storm through the window. The wind was whipping the trees testing their strength and flexibility. The pool was still safely under the porch. He chewed on his thumbnail and tried to forget Tessa had kissed him. It wasn’t an ‘in the moment’ kiss either, he could still feel her lips—soft, warm, and slightly wet-- and her hands clutching his t-shirt, the snugness as she pulled it taut against his deltoids.

He was a guilty man. He should have pushed her away sooner. But, the tiny noise she made as she nipped at his mouth made him lose control and give in.

“Scott.”

He jumped.

“You okay? You’ve been gone awhile.”

Even in the dim light of the kitchen; she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He knew that title should go to his fiancée, but he was long past pretending.

“Ye-ah. So what’s the verdict? Do we have to stay in the basement?”

“The storm’s kicking up again and headed this way. We should go back down.”

He hung the kitchen towel over the oven handle to dry.

“Are you coming?” She asked over her shoulder.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Tessa froze; her hand on the door jamb. She closed her eyes and wished for the storm to carry her house away like in “The Wizard of Oz” so she wouldn’t have to answer this question.

“I don’t know.” She refused to face him.

“Lying’s not your style, T.” He challenged.

“I shouldn’t have done it. It was impulsive and wrong.”

Scott moved closer to her. “You’re not impulsive.”

The rain pummeled the house. The perfect partner to the maelstrom that was her life.

“We should really head downstairs.” She insisted and left him behind in the darkness of the kitchen.

Scott caught up with her as she reached the top of the basement stairs.

“Tessa. Answer me.”

All of the reasons she kissed him flooded her brain.

_Because I love you._

_Because I have always loved you._

_Because I will always love you._

“You kissed me back.” With her face in silhouette he couldn’t tell if her features matched the accusatory tone in her voice.

“I know. But you started it.”

“I wanted to see if I’d feel anything.” She offered him a half-truth.

“And?” She could hear he was desperate for her answer to match how he felt.

“I liked it.” Her voice was tiny but confident.

Scott clenched his fists at his sides and flexed his jawbone.

In a millisecond he was on her, his flashlight on the ground, rolling back and forth; the beam of light dancing along the baseboard. His hands cupped her face and his mouth covered hers as he stole breath after breath from her.

She felt the hard resistance of the wall against her back as she let his tongue slide against hers. God he kissed like a madman. Her whole body was electrified. She slid her left hand into the thick thatch of hair on the back of his head and tugged. Now they could be sinners together. She tried to get air into her lungs, but he had slammed into her so hard and without warning, she was forced to hold her breath.

His hands left her face and cradled her thighs lifting her in the air and propped her up on the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist. They needed to stop.

She mumbled into his mouth.

“What?” He breathlessly questioned.

“I lied.” She panted. “To you.”

Scott exhaled a shaky breath. Then another. Each breath slightly quieter than the previous one.

Tessa sucked in one last breath and the words she had kept locked up in her heart for nearly a quarter of a century fell from her lips into the space between them.

“I’m in love with you.”

His ragged breaths stopped as he kissed her again. She tasted salt. It took her a few seconds to realize it wasn’t drops of sweat.

She pulled back farther as a flash of lightning illuminated his face and she saw the tears. She nudged them away with her thumb.

Sheets of rain and wind battered the house, but all Tessa could hear was the pounding of her heart. Throughout the years, she had imagined what kissing Scott would be like; she even practiced on her Marvin the Martian body pillow he had bought for her. As a thirteen year old girl, what she knew about kissing could fill a thimble. She would watch soap operas and pay attention to how the actors would tilt their heads, and move their mouths against each other. When her friend Corinne told her about French kissing, Tessa thought it sounded gross but she was also eager to try it out. Scott always seemed light years ahead of her in the sex department. During their long drives to Canton, she would pepper him with questions. She didn’t want to seem inexperienced, but she also trusted him to not make fun of her. He never did. He answered her questions in detail. The image of Scott Moir as a lover emerged in her mind on those trips and in the years to come; passionate, giving, playful, and romantic; enhanced by a few fan fics she had dared to glance at which also described him as acrobatic and relentless with an extraordinarily talented tongue.

She had to agree. He kissed her with a strength and confidence that she never experienced with anyone else, not even Morgan. And, he was quite the kisser.

Scott’s mind was blank. Not that he wasn’t feeling anything, it was the opposite. His whole body responded to kissing Tessa. For years they had denied their feelings and poured them into steamy performances on the ice that left little doubt at just how much they actually wanted each other. Judging by the give and take going on right now she was as equally excited.

He buried his nose into her neck and gently sucked. The warm pulse point was like catnip to him, for years he’d find any excuse to gravitate there. After a skate, he just naturally nestled into the curve as they hugged. Other times it made less sense and it was those times that had earned them, or him, the joking reputation of either being a vampire or the more accurate one that he was in love with his skating partner and was lacking in courage to do anything about it.

A ringing phone stopped them both. They broke away and looked down at Scott’s front right pocket of his jeans. Tessa slid down, her socks landing with a soft thud against the wooden floor.

“Tess…”

“What if it’s your mum?”

He braced his hand against the wall preventing her from leaving. He knew her well.

A glance at his phone proved Tessa was clairvoyant.

“You have to answer her. She’ll be worried.”

Scott exhaled. “Hey mum.”

Tessa chewed her lip as Scott assured his mother they were well and the power was still off. The way he held the phone allowed her to hear Alma ask what shenanigans they had gotten up to in the middle of a storm.

“Nothing.” He answered staring into Tessa’s eyes. “I beat T at Scrabble and we just had a snack. We may braid each other’s hair in a bit.”

Tessa debated dipping under his arm and escaping to the basement.

“You be careful too, Ma. Talk later. Love you.”

Tessa’s mouth twitched. “We should go downstairs.”

The glow of the half-burned candles bathed the basement area in an almost reverent light. Scott hadn’t noticed until now how many Tessa had lit. He counted six large ones. The deep gray plush blanket Tessa had been using was crumpled up where she had left it. The storm was increasing in intensity. Tessa needed to take control of the situation. Their reckless behavior couldn’t happen again.

She turned back towards Scott.

“What just happened. Upstairs. We can’t do _that_ again.” She emphasized the word hoping Scott would agree.

“You just told me you’re in love with me and now I’m supposed to forget _that_.” He mimicked her emphasis.

Her eyes darted to the left and fixed on a spot near the television. He was right. She had confessed.

“Are you gonna try and tell me that you didn’t mean it?”

Tessa shifted her gaze back to him, her response barely above a whisper. “No. The truth is I’m trying to figure out how not to kiss you again.”

Scott took a small step towards her.

“It’s wrong.” She held her hands up in a futile attempt to stop him.

He nodded as he inched closer. “I agree.”

Tessa inhaled sharply. Scott reached out a finger and traced a path along her knuckles and up her arm drawing goosebumps. He could see her wrestling with how to react. The rest of his fingers joined in as he made his way past her shoulder and curved his hand around her neck, his thumb resting on the dip at the base and pulled her towards him.

Their lips so close she could feel his hot breath, the faint scent of garlic and wine intermingling with his soap.

“I’m not going to apologize for being in love with you.”

He leaned in, their foreheads touching, and nipped at her lips gently. She didn’t resist which made him happier than it should have, all things considered.

“So, when you said what happened earlier can’t happen again. Did you mean it can’t happen again tonight? Or it can’t happen tomorrow? Or--”

Tessa huffed into his mouth right before she kissed him fully. Every cell in her body screamed at her to stop, but she ignored them all. The immeasurable guilt she thought she would feel was nowhere to be found. Just as she was about to reach for his belt, she came to her senses.

“We need to stop and talk.”

“Okay. You first. When did you decide you were in love with me?”

Tessa folded her arms protectively in front of her chest. “Why does that even matter?”

“I just want to know...”

“Autumn Classic 2016.” She blurted out. “Greg had taken a bunch of photos of us during practice. I asked to see them. I remember looking at them and thinking how much you had matured. Gone was the impetuous and mercurial boy and in his place was this steady and emotionally-stable man. The way I was looking at you in the photos like you had never let me down. Not once. We’d had struggles and missteps, but you’d always been there to lift me up. Throughout my entire life, you’ve been the one person besides my mum and Jordan that I could always count on. The truth is I’ve always known. I just was too scared to admit it.”

Her eyes filled with tears and garbled noises rose from her throat as she tried to get control of her emotions.

“It’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug, her arms still folded between them. He kissed the top of her head.

She sniffled into his t-shirt. “Eym a lur.”

He pulled back. “Hmm?”

“I’m a liar…” She sniffed. “I lied to you. I lied to Morgan. If he ever found out, he’d be heartbroken. I do love him.”

“I know you do, T. One thing I’ve learned is you can be in love with more than one person. What you and I have is unique. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if telling you that I was in love with you was good or bad, I just know I had to tell you. I’m not about to ask you to give up Morgan. I have my own choices to make. I have a fiancée that I love too.” He inhaled deeply. “You wanna know why Jackie wanted us to take a break? Because she asked me to envision my wedding day and who did I see at the end of the aisle? I really wanted to say her. But, I couldn’t and that was all she needed to hear. My whole life changed the day you walked into the Ilderton Arena. And, I think I’m about to watch my whole life derail, but I don’t regret telling you how I feel.”

Tessa swiped away her tears with her middle finger. Part of her was drumming with fear over blowing up a relationship that she knew was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time. But, she also couldn’t deny how she felt about Scott.

“I don’t know what to do. How do I know that what I feel now is what I will feel in six months? And to just destroy everything I’ve built with Morgan? I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Then don’t.” Scott's voice was quiet and sad.

“The way I feel about Morgan is not at all how I feel about you. When I think about him, I can’t help but smile. But, when I think about you, my heart feels like it’s home. Like there’s this part of me that’s just in limbo until I see you.” Her voice began breaking and she struggled to keep her emotions in check. “Being with you has always been something that I can’t describe. I just know I only feel it with you. But, we are so different. And, I think we worked really hard to be that way. Because I think we both were so terrified of trying and failing, you know?”

Tessa didn’t wait for Scott’s reply.

“I think why I love Morgan and you love Jackie is they’re safe. They’re so much like the people we think we are that we never questioned if they were the right people for us. They make our lives easier. Because let’s face it Scott, we are not easy people. We have lived lives that so few people can understand. There are parts of me that Morgan won’t ever understand but you do.”

“I’m not sure what to say.” He acknowledged.

A crack of lightning strobed across the sky and a warning from their phones about high damaging winds, flooding and downed trees in the London area snapped them both out of the moment.

Tessa looked scared, her eyes watching him and the storm.

“I think your nerves have had it. Mine too. Wanna go to the couch and try to sleep?” He offered with a nod to the window.

“Okay.”

He plopped down on the center pillow and propped his feet up on the ottoman. Tessa sat next to him and covered them both in the blanket and snuggled into his side. He pulled her closer and soothed her back. She placed her hand on his chest and settled down.

The storm continued on and Scott sat awake thinking about everything Tessa had said. He checked the time on his phone. She had been asleep for an hour. His arm had lost feeling wedged behind her back and he was trying to figure out a way to extricate it without disturbing her.

She arched her neck back and looked up at him.

“Hey...”

She didn’t say a word, just stared at him.

“You okay? What’s wrong?”

Tessa bit her lip. “I think I’m going to break up with Morgan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Scott's reaction be to Tessa's confession?  
> And, will it lead him to make a decision of his own?


	5. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm has ended, but another one is beginning.  
> Scott and Tessa grow closer and realize they have some difficult decisions to make.  
> And, a surprising tweet causes issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still going... Let's start the new year with a new chapter.  
> Thank you for all of the support in 2020. I created two new fics and a few short ones--  
> I am overwhelmed and grateful for how you have embraced me.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter...

The storm continued on and Scott thought Tessa had finally fallen asleep. His arm had lost feeling and he was trying to figure out a way to extricate it without disturbing her.

She arched her neck back and looked up at him.

“Hey... thought you’d fallen asleep.” He smiled.

She didn’t say a word, just stared at him.

“You okay? What’s wrong?”

Tessa bit her lip. “I think I’m going to break up with Morgan.”

“Tess, you don’t mean that.” He lifted his arm from behind her.

Tessa sat up with a huff. She hated when Scott told her what to do or how she felt as if he knew what was best for her.

Sensing her irritation, he backtracked. “I just mean it’s a huge decision. It’s like two in the morning. Maybe you’ll feel differently after you’ve slept.”

“Have you returned any of the dozen text messages Jackie has sent you?”

Scott’s eyes flashed with the familiar frustration he displayed when he slipped up on the ice.

“That’s a different situation.”

“Scott, I know she’s been trying to reach you. I hear your phone vibrate. It’s not fair to her.”

He pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what I’m going to say, yet. I need time.”

Tessa knew better than anyone that you did not rush Scott Moir.

_March 2013_

_“Then, you tell me why Marina sat with Meryl and Charlie in the kiss and cry and not us?”_

_Tessa was frustrated and Scott was only making the situation worse. He refused to see how Marina was showing favoritism towards the Americans and it wasn’t the first time. His loyalty to Marina was blinding him to the simple fact that she had given up on them._

_“She’s in a difficult place, Tessa.”_

_“Why do you always do that? Make excuses for her.”_

_“And why are you always so sure she’s against us?”_

_Tessa looked away; it was no use fighting with him. When he made up his mind, Scott was the most stubborn person on earth, except for her._

_“I’m gonna check my makeup. I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes for the medal ceremony.” She gave him a small smile._

_After the ceremony and the banquet, Tessa excused herself and went to her hotel room. She wanted to forget about Marina and the bitter taste of second place. She ran a nearly scalding hot bath and read her new book until the water ran cold. Then, she got into bed with a sea salt dark chocolate Lindt bar and kept reading._

_Three quick raps on the door startled her. She threw back the covers rolling her eyes that Kaitlyn probably forgot her key._

_“Let me guess you forgot your ke--“She teased as she opened the door._

_“I didn’t think you’d want me to use it,” Scott replied._

_“Is everything okay?” Tessa looked past him into the hallway._

_“I was gonna ask you that.”_

_Out of habit, she went to pull the lapel of her robe tighter and realized she was wearing just a threadbare tank top and pajama shorts._

_“You bolted out of the banquet.”_

_She shrugged. “I was tired.”_

_“Can I come in?”_

_Tessa stepped aside. He removed her black dress from the back of a chair where she had left it and laid it gently on her bed._

_She thought about putting on her robe or at least throwing on a t-shirt, but something about being alone with Scott in a hotel room after skating to Carmen made her feel more daring and besides, she liked the extra attention he paid her when she acted casually flirtatious._

_“I thought about what you said about Marina.” He picked at the callous on his palm while stealing glances at her._

_“Okay.”_

_“I think you may be right.”_

_“I know you don’t want to believe it and neither do I. But, there’s no denying it. She has favorites and right now Meryl and Charlie are her favorites.”_

_“So, what do you want to do about it? We can’t leave.” He stopped attacking his callous and looked up at her._

_“I know. I don’t have a clue.”_

_They sat quietly as they came to the conclusion they were in this alone._

_“We have about a year before Sochi. It’s just us, Tess. We just pour everything we have into getting onto that podium, whatever it takes. You and me. That’s it. And, no matter what, I will be proud of us. And no matter what, I will always love you.”_

Tessa closed her eyes at the memory of the tipping point that ended the great Canadian triumvirate of Virtue, Moir, and Zueva.

“Let’s try to get some sleep.” He suggested; which meant the conversation was over for now.

Tessa was too exhausted to argue so she simply nodded her head and tucked into the corner of the sofa and pulled the blanket around her. She knew she would regret the cramped position in the morning but it was better than hating herself if she slept where she really wanted.

“Sweet dreams, T.” He whispered as she fell into a fitful sleep.

Tessa was caught in that fugue state between dreaming and waking up. Peripheral noises getting louder as her mind left the cocoon of sleep behind. She forced her eyes open and focused on the gray fabric of the couch. Her body was warm, and not because of the blanket. His arm curled around her protectively, fingertips resting on the swell of her breasts. She tried to move her legs, but they were intertwined and held in place by his legs. Somehow, she had shifted in the night and wound up in the very place she was trying to avoid.

Her ears tuned into the light pitter patter of the rain on the windows and Scott’s quiet rhythmic inhale and exhale. Her hand began tracing lazy patterns on his t-shirt. She heard him breathe deeply, he was starting to stir.

“Hey.” He croaked out; his voice sleepy.

“Hey,” she replied.

“The rain’s letting up. How about I make us breakfast?”

She nodded against the soft cotton wishing he was not a morning person so she could steal a few more minutes with him. Wishing she could stop time altogether.

She craned her neck and took stock of him in his favorite sleeping position; hand resting on his chest and his head tilted slightly to the side, long lashes grazing the tops of his cheekbones and his mouth in a small pout. The scene reminiscent of the teenaged boy she developed a crush on and never stopped.

“Are you watching me sleep, T?” He asked, keeping his eyes closed.

“Maybe.”

She was about to indulge her reckless side and reach out a finger to trace his eyebrows when he opened an eye and stared at her.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Mmm. Whatever is fine.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know if that’s on the menu.”

Her laughter was genuine; the joke was old but still funny.

He moved his hand and stretched his body, accidentally pushing her head off his chest and causing her to nearly slide off the couch.

He jerked his arm back down and caught her. “Whoa. Sorry.”

“You gonna move so I can get up?” He nudged her with his knee. Now it was her turn to stretch, arms high above her head exposing one of Scott’s weaknesses.

_February 2005_

_Scott placed a bowl of pretzels on the table closer to Tessa. He opened his book and began to work on his assignment._

_Tessa snagged a pretzel and bit the salt pieces off one by one then sucked gently on the side of the pretzel._

_Scott shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Why couldn’t Tessa just eat a pretzel like a normal girl? He watched the pretzel between her lips and realized he needed to get a girlfriend._

_“What are you working on?” She asked._

_“Lit. We’re doing a poetry exercise. Ms. Westphal is really into sonnets. She assigned us each a poet, I got Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I have to pick a poem of hers and then find another poem that answers it or complements it like they’re having a conversation. I found one from Robert Browning, her husband.”_

_“Oh, I love that. They were so romantic.”_

_“Yeah, they definitely had the hots for each other.”_

_She snickered. “That’s one way of putting it. Which poems are you using?”_

_“I-uh. I like this one by Elizabeth. Or Liz, as I call her.” He laughed at his own stupid joke._

_Tessa leaned up in her chair; inches from Scott’s face and began reading._

_“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”_

_Scott couldn’t stop staring at her mouth as she read. The way her tongue and teeth formed the words, how they sounded in her care. When he had the nerve to look at her eyes, she was smiling at him._

_“Which one did you pick of Robert’s?”_

_“Summum Bonum. He wrote it when he was eighty years old standing at her grave.”_

_Tessa raised her eyebrow clearly impressed._

_“It’s basically about how much he loves her, that everything he has ever had in his life, nothing is greater than her kiss.”_

_“Read it.” Her words sounded like a dare._

_“I dunno, T.”_

_“C’mon let me hear why you think it’s a match.”_

_“Okay.” Scott grumbled. “All the breath and the bloom of the year in the bag of one bee. All the wonder and wealth of the mine in the heart of one gem. In the core of one pearl all the shade and the shine of the sea. Breath and bloom, shade and shine, wonder, wealth, and how far above them. Truth that's brighter than gem. Trust that's purer than pearl. Brightest truth, purest trust in the universe--all were for me. In the kiss of one girl.”_

_He finished and his eyes darted nervously between her mouth and a spot on her collarbone._

_“It’s perfect,” Tessa said quietly._

_“Musta been some kiss, eh?” Scott reached for a pretzel._

_Tessa sat back in her chair. “I think it’s terribly romantic.”_

_Scott tried to concentrate on his assignment, but images of Tessa clouded his mind. She had another pretzel between her lips and her tongue was darting in and out of the tiny holes licking off the grains of salt. She slowly sucked the pretzel bit by bit into her mouth. He was seconds from bolting to the bathroom for a quick ‘hands-on’ session._

_She stretched her arms and her sweater caught on her bellybutton piercing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her fussing with it._

_“Scott?”_

_“Ye-ah?”_

_“Can you help me?”_

_She smiled sheepishly._

_“I’m caught.”_

_“Okay, stand up.” He faced her and lifted her sweater._

_It wasn’t uncommon for the piercing to get snagged on her sweaters. She usually worked it loose, but sometimes she’d ask him for help and he would never admit how much he liked it._

_From his angle he could see how the point of her piercing had snagged on a loop of yarn. His fingers disappeared under the sweater, his thumbs and forefingers working in tandem. He couldn’t help himself; he gave the piercing a little tug and reveled as her abs contracted in response._

_“All done.” He smoothed his hand over her bellybutton, her skin soft and warm._

_“Thanks.” She pulled her sweater down, her fingers grazing against his and he had to swallow his reaction._

_“Anytime.”_

Scott scratched an imaginary itch on the nape of his neck and ignored the taunting jewel. “Why don’t you check to see if the power’s back on.”

Tessa flipped a light switch and they cheered when the lamp on the end table gave off a soft glow.

“How much damage do you think there’s to my backyard?” She asked, climbing the stairs.

Luckily, there were only a few branches scattered in her yard which was surprising given the intensity of the storm. A quick check on her phone and she informed Scott the rain would continue for much of the day, but the worst had passed so she headed upstairs to take a quick shower.

Scott grabbed a pan from the cabinet along with pancake mix. Soon, he had a small stack on a plate. He brewed fresh coffee and set two places at the kitchen table.

He would have to talk to Jackie, but he wasn’t ready for that conversation. Instead, he thought about Tessa’s monumental announcement in the wee hours of the morning. As much as he liked the idea of Tessa and him having a fresh start, he wasn’t sure if they should sacrifice everything.

Tessa adjusted the towel around her damp body and stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She needed to make sure breaking up with Morgan was for the right reasons and not the ‘right now’ reasons. Besides, Scott had made it clear he was not giving up on Jackie, at least not yet.

As with all mothers, Alma Moir had a special sense when it came to her children. She knew when her sons needed her; often before they called out her name, she knew when they were hurt and hiding it, and she knew when they were lying.

Raising three boys was not easy and not for the faint of heart. Danny, the eldest and her toughest, was a beautiful ice skater; strong and technically gifted. He was outgoing and outspoken.

Charlie was quieter, but definitely the funniest. He preferred hockey to ice skating. He loved helping people which is why like Danny he became a firefighter. He lived nearby with his wife and four kids so they spent the most time with Alma and Joe.

And, then there was her youngest, Scott. He was rambunctious, spirited, and had a short attention span. He desperately wanted to be his older brothers. When he was five years old, he would tag along with them as they played roller hockey in the parking lot of the Ilderton Arena and usually wound up returning home barely five minutes later, in tears, over something his brothers had done that he deemed wholly unfair.

Scott was also the most sensitive of her sons. His passion was only matched by his compassion. He was loyal and kind and of all her sons, he was definitely the momma’s boy.

When Alma first watched Scott skate, she saw something in him that was different than his brothers. The way he moved on the ice was special. She knew if he continued skating, he would go far, but she wasn’t certain how far. She never imagined he’d be an Olympian.

But as the years went by Alma Moir knew two things for certain. Number one: her youngest son was a once-in-a-lifetime skater. He had five Olympic medals that proved her correct. Number two: he was in love with his skating partner; Tessa Virtue.

“Have you heard from Scott?” Joe asked as he poured a fresh cup of coffee into his ‘World’s Greatest Grandpa’ mug.

“Not since last night. I’ll call him in a bit.” She spread a little margarine on her toast.

Joe stirred creamer into his coffee. “Don’t interfere, Alma.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just mean let it be.”

“What is it I’m not supposed to be interfering in, Joe Moir?”

Joe rinsed off the spoon and dropped it into the silverware holder on the dishrack.

“They’ve made their choices.”

Alma spread a little jam over the margarine, and watched as the artificial yellow swirls mixed with the seed-filled raspberry ones.

“I just don’t get it. They were always such good friends. Best friends, really. Like a damn marriage. And, then they went their separate ways. So, excuse me, if I’m happy they’ve reconnected.” She bit down on the toast, the crunch providing a sarcastic punch to her words.

“I don’t know if I’d call it reconnecting. They’ve been forced together because of the pandemic.”

“Jackie texted me again. Scotty still hasn’t called her.”

“Leave him be, Alma.”

“Well, the least he could do is call his fiancée and let her know he’s okay.” She sipped her coffee.

“What did you tell her?”

“I wasn’t going to lie. I told her he was fine. But he should be the one to tell her that.”

Joe opened the paper and thumbed through it.

“You know you weren’t thrilled either when he proposed.” Alma reached for her coffee cup.

Joe put down the sports section he was reading. “I like Jackie.”

“I do too. I just…”

“Alma, they’ll always be friends. Even when they’re 80.”

Alma shook her head. “You know I thought that too, but they haven’t seen each other in months.”

“We’re in a pandemic. Tess was in Vancouver with Morgan for the last four months. Scott was in Florida.” Joe folded up the paper. “Honey, I know part of you always wished for a fairytale ending. I get that. I love Tessa too. And, I know Scott does. I also know she loves him. As friends. Scott made a decision. Did he ask us? No. Am I happy about it? I have to trust my son knows what he wants.”

“Be honest. Don’t you think he rushed this?” Alma pressed.

“How? They’d been together a year.”

“Not really. They played house for a few months. He doesn’t really know her. I think he saw all of his friends married and having babies. You know how sensitive he is about not having a normal childhood or really a normal anything. Not to mention Dan and Charlie and their families. He built up this amazing imaginary life in his head and in comes Jackie. She wasn’t even divorced, Joe. The last time they ever had a conversation was when she dumped him at the rink because he didn’t learn his steps. She didn’t pay him one iota of attention in high school. And, suddenly she’s interested? He wanted to prove something.”

“What do you want me to say? Bottom line, Tessa didn’t see them that way. Or rather, him that way.”

“That’s not true and you know it. That girl’s had stars in her eyes for Scotty since they started skating together. And, the same goes for him. Something happened.”

“Alma, you have to leave it alone.” He raised his coffee mug to his lips and took a large sip and winced when he burned his tongue.

Alma didn’t say a word, but she couldn’t stop the smug smile taking over her face.

The sweet buttery smell of pancakes lured Tessa into her kitchen. She smiled at Scott’s back as he flipped the last lightly golden-brown disc onto the plate.

“Smells heavenly.” She praised him.

“Let’s hope they taste heavenly.” He brought the plate to the table.

“You really went all out. Fresh coffee, eating at the table like adults.” She held up her napkin.

“I figured we could use a little class in our lives. We’ve been eating in front of the tv for days.”

“I think I’ve eaten at this table maybe three times.”

“Figured. So, what’s on the agenda for today?” He forked some pancake and dragged it through the syrup.

“I have a few contracts to look over from Russell. What do you wanna do?”

“Eh, whatever you want. But… a thing I ordered is coming today.”

Tessa giggled. “That sounds very mysterious.”

“I’m a man of mystery, T.” He used his fork to cut a piece of pancake. “While you talk to Russell, I’ll check your yard out. Get rid of the fallen branches.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“You plan on doing it, Virtch?”

She pretended to contemplate it for a second. “Thank you. And, thank you for the pancakes. They’re really good. I swear I’m gonna gain fifteen pounds quarantined with you.”

“Who cares? Eat up.”

Tessa hit send on her phone and waited for Russell to pick up.

“Hi Tess.”

“Hey, how are you?”

“Good. How’s it going out there? Did you get hit by the storm?”

“We did. It was quite bad. Scott and I had to spend the night in the basement.” She pressed her lips together at how the sentence sounded, but she knew Russell would ignore it.

“Wow! Scary shit. Glad you guys are okay.”

She explained the changes she wanted to the contracts and listened to Russell’s advice. He promised her the adjusted contracts by the end of the week.

“So how are you and Scott keeping busy? How is it being roomies?”

“We’re finding stuff to do. He has some sort of surprise for us today. He bought an inflatable pool for us which was fun. He’s actually a good roomie.” She thought about the kiss in her dining room. “He can cook, so that’s a bonus. Morgan’s almost as hopeless as me in a kitchen.”

Scott dragged the fallen tree branch behind him to the edge of the grass. The rain had briefly stopped, but the dark clouds overhead signaled it would be back soon.

His pocket started to vibrate. He checked his phone before answering. “Hey Ma.”

“Hi, how are you?”

“Good. You and Dad?”

“We’re fine. You made it through the storm?”

Scott had to laugh. “I guess so. I’m cleaning up a few branches. Did you have any damage?”

“I don’t think so.” She paused. “So, what are you guys up to today?”

Scott didn’t even know how to answer the question, a simple one but fraught with implications and consequences.

“I ordered a backgammon set. I thought I would teach Tess how to play. I actually promised her years ago.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Scott dropped the branch and stuck his hand on his hip.

“Nothing. I just said hmm. Like interesting.”

“No, you said it like you think it’s a bad idea. How’s backgammon a bad idea?”

“Scott, backgammon is a fine idea.” Alma reassured him.

“Did Jackie call you?”

“She texted us a couple of times. Why?”

“Nothing. I was just seeing if she was checking on you.”

“Scott, is everything okay?” Alma’s “mother’s sense” was on high alert.

“Yeah. I’m just tired. We didn’t sleep much. Because of the storm.” Scott relaxed his stance.

“Okay. Well, I’ll let you finish your yard work. Call me later?”

“I will. Love ya.”

He stared out at the neighbor’s trees. Tall and green. He wondered how long they had been there, how they had withstood so many storms. He remembered what JF had said in one of their first counseling sessions about approaching training like a willow tree. Bend, don’t break. Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect. Those who survive learn to bend not break.

Scott headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. He stood at the island gulping it down.

“Hey your surprise thing came!” Tessa handed him a box.

“Cool! Can you get me— “She placed scissors on the quartz countertop and shot him a grin.

Tessa watched Scott slice the packing tape; curious to see what was inside the box with the black smiling arrow logo emblazoned on the side.

“What is it?” She asked excitedly as he removed a shrink-wrapped rectangular box.

“What have you always wanted to learn and I promised I would teach you?”

“How to skate like an Olympian.” She deadpanned.

Scott laughed. “Nope. Look!”

She read the writing on the front. “Backgammon. You remembered?”

“Yep. And your first lesson starts now.”

Tessa huffed. “I feel like there are a hundred rules for this game and not one of them seems legitimate.”

“You’re doing well. You have all of your checkers on your side and you’ve already beared two off.”

She chewed on her lip, her frustration growing. “If you say so. You have six of your pieces already beared off.”

“T. It’s all good.”

He knew how annoyed she could get when she tried something and didn’t nail it right away. The perfectionist in her made it difficult for her to enjoy new things.

_2012_

_“This is Madeleine and Marco. They are with Cirque Du Soleil.” Marina waved at the couple. “They teach you to lift sexy.” She resumed her position next to Jennifer._

_After a quick discussion of Jennifer’s choreo and where to incorporate lifts, Madeleine and Marco moved to the center of the room. Madeleine stood with her back to Marco and in a flash, she flipped and twisted and landed on his shoulders._

_Scott was speechless. Surely, they were not serious. He could feel the tension rolling off Tessa._

_“So let’s get you guys going.” Marco gestured._

_Scott and Tessa approached the center of the room apprehensively. Their lifts had improved under Marina and Igor’s guidance, but what they were being asked to do now was on an entirely different level._

_“The keys to making this lift work are the signals and timing. So, Scott you need to be Tessa’s eyes because once she backflips and twists she’s flying blind. Support her back and guide her towards your shoulders. Tessa, aim your legs to Scott’s shoulders. Remember keep them spread apart because you will have skates on. And, above all trust each other. Let’s try it.”_

_Scott stood with his knees bent, ready for Tessa to launch herself at him. “Okay, T. Three, two, and up.”_

_Tessa threw her hands above her head and went into a handspring formation and added a front twist. Scott cradled her back and let gravity help her into position. She landed awkwardly leaning more on his right shoulder and slid off with Scott catching her and helping her down._

_Her shoulders sagged a bit in disappointment. Scott patted the back of her thigh._

_“Okay, good effort for your first try. Scott, don’t get so under Tessa, stand more perpendicular to her. And, Tessa don’t fight him. Let’s go again.”_

_Tessa readied herself. Scott called out the cues and this time narrowly missed getting his teeth kicked out by her left foot._

_Their third effort was another awkward display with Scott catching Tessa before she ever landed on his shoulders, and instead held her up in the air under her thighs as she slowly slid back down to the floor._

_Scott could see Marina whispering to Jennifer. She didn’t look happy._

_“Excuse me, Madeleine and Marco. I need talk with Scott and Tessa.” Marina stepped forward._

_Tessa swore under her breath._

_“Do you know what this lift represents?” Marina asked._

_Scott and Tessa kept quiet; Marina wasn’t looking for an answer._

_“Carmen is sexy. Do you know how to be sexy to a man, Tessa? Of course, you do. Forget what you know about Carmen before, this is the Carmen now. She’s a woman who demands. And, what she is demanding is the oral sex. And Don Jose wants to do that to her. Is that too sexy? It’s Carmen. Carmen is sexy. Is it too much? It will never be too much. You need to demand the sex, Tessa. Your Carmen wants Don Jose. Don Jose wants your Carmen. He wants her so badly, he goes insane. Make Scott go insane.”_

_Tessa nodded._

_Scott called out the cues again and in a split-second Tessa was on his shoulders and his mouth and nose were buried in her private parts._

_“Yes! That is sexy Carmen. Do you feel it?” Marina shouted in her clipped tone._

_Scott felt something, and he knew Tessa did too. Her cheeks were flushed and she could barely look at him. It was the most intimate position they had ever been in and soon they would have to do it in front of judges, fans, and their families._

_“Good. Good! That’s it. Do it again, sexy people.” Marina clapped._

_After two hours, and dozens of attempts, Marina was satisfied they would be able to move to the ice the following week. Scott wasn’t sure he was going to survive Tessa’s Carmen._

_“How do you feel about the lift?” Scott asked once he and Tessa were alone in the gym._

_“There’s definitely a rawness and sexuality which matches the overall tone of Jennifer’s choreo really well.”_

_“Tess, it’s me, not the CBC.”_

_She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally speaking. “I’m just really nervous about getting it right. I know we can’t be those starry-eyed kids from 2010 forever, we have to show that we can grow and surprise everyone. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t done that before.” She held his stare for a few seconds. “Obviously not to each other.”_

_Scott looked uncomfortable. “Obviously.”_

_She began her stretches again. “I’m worried about Skate Canada and the judges. The lift has to be perfect or it will look like we’re doing it just for the shock value.” She looked at him between her legs, her palms firmly on the floor. She popped up and bent her leg and held it against her body. “I feel like a total disaster.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“It took me like twenty times to land on your shoulders properly. What’s gonna happen when we do it on ice next week? I could wind up slicing your neck open.” She sounded so unsure._

_“Tess, don’t be ridiculous. We did really well. You heard Marco and Madeleine. It was our first day.”_

_“Yeah, well you don’t have people asking you whether you’re sticking to your meal plan and questioning your commitment.”_

_Scott stopped lunging. “You look great and you know it. And, anyone who says otherwise or even questions if you’re giving a hundred percent is an idiot. C’mere. I wanna to show you something.”_

_“What?”_

_“C’mere.” He urged her._

_Tessa rolled her eyes. “Scott— “_

_“No, I’m gonna show you how good you are.”_

_“This is— “_

_“What? Stupid? Unnecessary? Tessa, you always doubt yourself. Today’s the day where you see what I see.”_

_She gave him a look, but he knew she would give in._

_“Trust me.”_

_Tessa turned around. She listened to his count and launched backwards. In seconds, she was on his shoulders, and he was spinning them around and then he set her down on the floor._

_Scott whooped and Tessa couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face._

_“How do you feel now?” He asked._

_“Not bad.”_

_“Not bad?” Scott dramatically placed his hand to his chest._

_She giggled and fixed her bun._

_“You feel really good.” Scott realized a second too late his miswording. “I mean, we feel really good. It feels good. You know what I mean.”_

_Tessa barely hid her amusement. “Thank you.”_

_“Do you know how to be sexy to a man, Tessa?” He imitated Marina’s Russian accent perfectly while wiggling his eyebrows. “How to be sexy with Scott?”_

_Four months later when they debuted Carmen, Tessa proved she could be more than sexy with Scott at the Skate Canada Grand Prix Final. And, after winning gold when a reporter told them many people doubted Tessa could be Carmen, Scott snapped, “Then they don’t know Tessa.”_

Tessa slid another checker off the board. Maybe this game wasn’t so bad after all. Scott was beating her, but she was holding her own.

“After we finish the game, maybe we can go for a walk?” Tessa suggested. “I think we both could use the fresh air.”

“Sure. How about a burger for dinner? Bungalow delivers.” He knew she loved going there.

“Ohh. Yes!”

An eerie feeling had blanketed Tessa’s neighborhood. Threatening gray skies overhead, puddles like shiny black holes in the streets, and broken off branches and twigs scattered across lawns. Curtains were drawn close on nearly every home and not a soul outside.

“It’s like a zombie movie.” Scott looked around.

“I know, I figured a few people would be out, cleaning up or something.”

“Let’s head up this way.” Scott nudged Tessa to her right.

“You love this street.” He used to drive down it slowly when he took her home and told her imaginary stories about the people who lived inside the houses.

He must have recalled the same memory because he pointed at the brick house with black shutters and white trim. “This is the Olsen’s where everyone gathers for backyard parties, Halloween, and Christmas. Mrs. Olsen is a really excellent baker and Mr. Olsen loves to grill up burgers and hotdogs. And, they’re best friends with the Barkers.” He pointed to the blue house next door. “The Barkers never lock their front door and their kids run back and forth from yard to yard to play. The husbands borrow each other’s lawnmowers and they all take turns carpooling the kids to hockey and gymnastics.”

Tessa swallowed back a sudden rush of tears. Scott’s story was inviting and comforting like the beginning of a Hallmark movie set in an idyllic town. His desire for a family was so strong. She never understood why she couldn’t dream that way too, perhaps it was her parents’ divorce or that she never really met anyone that she could share her vision of family. Certainly, she and Morgan discussed marriage. His family was very important to him. He wanted to get married and have children; just not right now which was a relief to her because she definitely did not want either of those things yet. A dog was a big enough of a commitment for now.

They cut across the road and double-backed to her street, a few feet from her house Tessa stopped.

“I remember the day I found this house. You were driving me to PT and I made you stop because there was a for sale sign on it. And— “

“I remember you screaming at me to stop the car because your dream home was up for sale and you absolutely had to buy it.”

“I just knew.”

Scott laughed. “It needed a lot of work, T.”

“It did and I know everyone thought I was crazy, that I overpaid for some money pit. A hundred-year-old house with creaky floors, but I could see the beauty this house was hiding behind years of wear and tear. All of its character and charm. I knew what the house could become, with some care and love. It had all this potential and it just needed the right person to help it transform.”

It took Tessa a few seconds to realize Scott wasn’t beside her. She turned around in the driveway; he was standing a few steps behind, just staring at her.

“Everything okay?” She asked even though she knew it wasn’t.

Scott closed the space between them, cradled her face and leaned down.

“Tessa?”

They jumped apart.

Tessa peered over Scott’s shoulder. Her neighbor, Mrs. Baker, was standing on her front walkway across the street. Tessa reached into her pocket and secured her mask over her face. Scott did the same.

“Hi, dear. I’ll stay over here. No need for the masks.”

Tessa removed hers. “How are you Mrs. Baker?”

“Oh, I’m just fine. I saw the car in the driveway. I thought you were in Vancouver. Your mother said you had gone there to be with Morgan.”

“I was, but I came home for a quick visit.”

Scott turned around and waved. “Hi Mrs. Baker.”

“Oh my! Is that you Scott? How are you?”

“Good, thank you.”

“What are you doing here?” She nodded at Tessa’s house.

“It’s a long story.” He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Mrs. Baker tilted her head indicating she had plenty of time for a story, especially if it involved Scott.

“I was visiting Tessa; we went for a walk and we missed the lockdown deadline. The cops even showed up. They wouldn’t let me leave. It was quite the scene.”

“Oh?” She seemed to doubt the veracity of the story and Tessa wondered how long the older woman had been watching them.

“Not one of our better moments.” Scott acknowledged.

“Are you getting along okay? Do you have enough food and supplies?”

“Yes, thank you. Are you and Mr. Baker okay?” Tessa asked.

“Oh, we’re good. We have puzzles, board games, and plenty of things to read and watch.” Mrs. Baker bent down and picked up a few small twigs and tossed them into her yard. “Well, I’ll let you two get back to whatever it is you’re doing. Take care and if you need something, let us know.”

Once they were inside the house, Tessa spun around and put her hands on Scott’s chest.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He knew he had been careless trying to kiss her.

Instead of yelling at him, she attacked his mouth backing him into a nearby wall.

Scott was more prepared this time for Tessa than he had been last night and also less demanding letting her set the pace. Her first kisses were forceful; almost as if she was afraid that he would push her away. When he cupped her face, she relaxed and let their tongues wrestle lazily. She could taste mint and nearly laughed at how he always managed to have fresh breath.

Tessa fisted his shirt and arched her neck as Scott nipped at her ear. She could feel him, semi-hard pushing against her thigh.

“We have to stop.” He whispered, his voice leaving her wet and craving him.

She took several steps back and covered her face with her hands embarrassed for both of them. “I’m sorry. We clearly need to set some boundaries.”

“We set boundaries last night. They don’t seem to be working.”

“We just need to have some self-control.” She insisted.

“For the record, you’re the one who kissed me.”

“You almost kissed me outside in the driveway.” She volleyed back.

“Technically it was the sidewalk.”

He was aggravating and correct. “Let’s just agree to behave properly from now on.”

“Deal.” He held his hand up for a high five and as soon as her hand connected with his, he wrapped his around her thumb and gave it a squeeze.

Jackie slumped against the headboard and tossed her cell phone to the end of the bed. She was done texting Scott. She had reached out numerous times last night with no response from him. She swiped the back of her hand across her nose and sniffled.

Her phone buzzed and she leaned forward to see Cara’s name pop up on her screen.

“Hey.”

“Heyyyy. How are you?” Cara asked concerned.

“Fine. Tired. How are you?”

“We’re fine. I’m worried about you. How are things at the hospital?”

“A mix of good and bad.”

“Jackie.” Cara felt badly for her friend. “What can I do?”

“Get my fucking fiancé to call me back.” She half-laughed.

“What? He still hasn’t called you?”

“Nope. I texted him a bunch of times last night, and nothing. Why is he being like this?”

Cara sighed. “He’s stubborn. And he’s an idiot. And he’s a man. Which come to think of it is the same thing.”

Jackie laughed. “It was bad enough at work trying to concentrate, but I have the next two days off so now I have all this time to think about the reasons why he hasn’t called. What’s so infuriating is Alma says he is fine which means he’s purposely ignoring me.”

“I’m so sorry, but you know Scott.”

“I know.” Jackie stopped herself from crying. “When I told him I wanted a break, I didn’t mean for it to go down like this.”

“Jack, he’ll come around. He’s just hurt, licking his wounds. Being a dumb man.”

“Being a dumb man licking his wounds with Tessa.”

Cara snorted. “Trust me, he’s not going there.”

Tessa changed into a fresh t-shirt and lounge shorts and headed downstairs as her doorbell rang.

“Got it,” Scott shouted.

He slipped on his mask and opened the front door leaving the glass storm door closed. A young woman with a brown takeout bag waved.

“Burgers from The Bungalow for Scott?” Her voice was muffled because of the mask.

“Yep.” He nodded in case she couldn’t hear him through his mask and the door.

She placed the bag gently on the stoop. “Thank you for the tip.” She waved and left.

Scott grabbed the bag and headed to the kitchen.

“Tess, dinner!”

“In here. Picking a tv show.”

“Alright let’s see what we’ve got.” Scott pulled a takeout container from the bag. “The Tessa Virtue special. Turkey burger with a side of fries.”

“Yum! What did you get?”

“Burger with the bacon jam and fries.”

Tessa opened her container and placed her fries into the empty top. She reached into the bag and felt around, her fingers grabbing a few packets of ketchup.

“I asked for extra ketchup.” He winked.

No one really knew her better than the man sitting across from her on the floor. She observed him as he dumped his fries out and restacked his burger. She had grown up with Scott, he had been there for her awkward stages and she knew his quirks and moods. She had put up with a lot from him through the years, but it was worth it. The medals were a common goal, but the friendship was their real achievement. Wasn’t that enough? If they hadn’t made it work by now, why try? Didn’t she owe it to herself and Morgan to make their relationship work? Still, in the back of her mind she argued if there was even a chance, no matter how slim to be with Scott, wasn’t it worth it?

Scott lifted the burger to his mouth, winked at her and took an enormous bite.

“So good.” He said around the mouthful.

“Best burgers in London.” Tessa agreed.

“Top three meals, go!” Scott dipped a fry in ketchup.

“Um… Aloette in Toronto, the sushi dinner in Japan with Buttle and everyone during the Japan tour, and our first dinner at Foxy with Marie-France and Patrice.”

“That was a great meal.”

“The flatbread with roasted eggplant and ricotta was absolutely perfect. Definitely one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

Scott nearly choked on his burger. “Slow down there, Tiger.”

Tessa grinned mischievously at him. “Your turn.”

“Hmmm. Top three things I’ve put in my mouth…” He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll go with that sushi meal which was killer, the first steak my dad grilled after PyeongChang, and for sure Foxy.”

Tessa dipped a few fries in ketchup and bit the ends off and re-dipped them in the ketchup.

“We have a lot of memories, don’t we?” She said thoughtfully.

Scott nodded. “I think I have more memories with you than anyone else.”

Her eyes unexpectedly filled with tears.

“Hey—don’t cry. Tess…” He handed her a napkin. “I’m sorry.”

“No…” She dabbed at her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Scott watched her as more tears spilled over and trailed down her cheeks.

“T…”

“I—. I think it’s the isolating, the slowing down. With so much downtime, I’ve really been able to reflect on what’s important to me. For so long, I’ve been focused on training and competitions and sponsors. Sitting here with you, it just resonated that you’ve had a bigger influence on my life over the last two decades than anyone else.”

Tessa swiped another tear away. “Now, that we’re retired, I’m realizing no one has ever known me better than you. You were there for all my firsts.”

“Your first crush.” He wanted to lighten the mood.

“When I got my first period.” She joked with him; her voice thick with tears.

Scott groaned. “Why? Why do you always go there, Virtch?”

“Because you always react that way,” she teased.

Scott shook his head. “Seriously, I shouldn’t know that much about your period.”

“And yet...”

Scott dropped the remaining bite of burger in the container and wiped his hands and mouth with a napkin and tossed it into the container. “Jackie cheated on me.”

Tessa was caught off guard and at a loss how to respond. She had read the rumors on social media, but dismissed them as accusations from angry fans.

“When?” She swallowed her bite of burger.

“Right after I came back from Florida for my birthday when we had just started dating, Chad’s wife saw a bunch of photos on Facebook where Jackie was all over this guy. So, I asked her about it because I thought we were exclusive. Turned out the dude’s some doctor she knew from CrossFit and they’d been seeing each other before she and I got together.”

He cleared his throat and played with the end of a fry. “Anyhow, I thought everything was good. After the Thank You Canada tour, I went back down to Florida to be with her. One night she’s in the shower and I’m watching tv and her phone goes off. It just kept going like someone really needed to get in touch with her so I grabbed it and a new text popped up. I recognized his name.”

“Did you read it? What did it say?”

“Hey baby, miss you. And there was a photo of them kissing on a beach.”

“Oh, Scott…”

He pressed his lips together. “I was so fucking pissed. I lost it on Jackie. I called her a liar. Asked her why he was sending her texts and a photo if they’re over. She’s crying and yelling, telling me I needed to trust her.”

Tessa listened to Scott share his pain and she felt awful for him. Though she knew he wasn’t without his faults, he deserved better. Part of her hated Jackie for taking advantage of his loyalty and tender heart.

“But it was all lies ‘cause months later after we got back from Mallorca, we went to her best friend Jamie’s house for a big birthday bash. Jackie got wasted as hell. In the Uber on the way home, she started crying, telling me how great I am and how much she loves me.” Scott starts rubbing the callous on his palm. “We get home and then she says she has to tell me something and she just knows I’m gonna hate her for it. And then she confessed the photo of them that he texted wasn’t from a long time ago, but from her trip to Hawaii right before she came out to Nashville.”

“Wait, what?”

Scott chuckled sarcastically. “Yeah, we were on tour so I couldn’t go on the trip, but I told her she should still go.”

Tessa’s anger was growing. She knew it wasn’t her place to judge, but Jackie had some nerve.

“I asked her if all they did was kiss, even though I already knew the answer. I must’ve asked her like ten times. She finally admitted they slept together. She apologized over and over saying it meant nothing. I was so angry and hurt I actually thought about breaking up with her.”

Tessa was stunned. Scott still proposed to Jackie after knowing this, it was one thing to look past the fact that she was in the middle of a divorce when they started dating, but to know that she cheated on him and lied not once, but twice.

“That’s why she didn’t come to Newfoundland. I needed to get away and clear my head.”

Scott was so much more relaxed on that trip than he was a few weeks prior in Mallorca. It was like old times for them. He was affectionate and attentive to Tessa. Now, she knew why. She had always suspected it was because Jackie was not around, and in Mallorca he was trying to be respectful to his girlfriend, but now Tessa knew the real reason and she couldn’t hold back.

“Why would you propose to a woman who lied to you? Twice. She betrayed you. She took advantage of your kindness and—.” Anger exploded out of her. “She cheated on you, Scott. I can’t believe you’re okay with this.”

“I wasn’t okay with it, but people make mistakes. I was really in love with her.”

Tessa wondered if Scott knew he used the past tense.

“Jackie wasn’t trying to hurt me. And maybe if we hadn’t been so far along in our relationship, I wouldn’t have forgiven her, but it was worth it to me to try. Besides, I couldn’t fault her when I’ve basically been cheating the entire time that we’ve been together.”

“How so? Have you been sleeping with someone else too and lying about it?”

Scott ignored her barb. “No. But, I knew I was in love with you and I lied to her when she asked me. I’ve lied to every girlfriend who’s ever asked. Up until Jackie, I don’t think I’ve ever given any woman a hundred percent of me. I used to blame ice dancing because it was an easy excuse. Being with an Olympian is not a walk in the park. It doesn’t have the makings of a stable relationship. You’re never around. You have to give so much of yourself to sport and they always get the worst of you, the leftovers. I thought once that part of my life was over, it would be different. I could build a life with someone. But, as much as I tried to move on from that, from us— it didn’t work.”

“But you didn’t act on your feelings for me.” Tessa replied.

Scott exhaled. “Maybe not, but it was emotional cheating and somehow I think that’s worse. When I look back at what I did to Kaitlyn at the end, I feel terrible. She got the absolute worst of me. I was either too drunk or too depressed to give her what she needed and deserved. She put up with me probably because she was so busy, she never noticed. But she noticed in Scotland and I’ll always regret that. Every time I got to a point in a relationship where I felt like I had to pick between you and my girlfriend, I always picked you.” He stopped and looked at her. “I will always pick you.”

Tessa looked away. She couldn’t let him sacrifice his happiness. “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get everything you want and deserve. I’ve been lucky enough to have you in my life for so many years and I know no matter what we’ll always be in each other’s lives.”

“Why do I feel like you’re breaking up with me?” Scott scrunched his eyebrows confused by her statement.

“Stop. I’m being serious.” She said gently. “You deserve to be happy. If Jackie is who you want to be with then you need to do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

“I’ve tried to be happy. I really have. I retired from skating. I focused on the skate shop and coaching. I built a life with her. I do love her. A lot. Rebecca says I self-sabotage.”

“When did you talk to her?” Her curiosity piqued that he had spoken to their ‘marriage counselor’.

“I’ve been talking to her off and on since PyeongChang. I knew if I was going to succeed post-Olympics, I needed to get my head right. At first, I was checking in with her to help with some personal goals. Then, I needed to work on making my heart more accessible. I couldn’t blame skating or you anymore for my shortcomings. I had to own the fact that I was responsible. I had built these walls and I didn’t have time for anyone else, it was just skating and you. Then, Jackie came along and I knew for us to be successful, I needed to change once and for all. Being that open with someone, that honest is terrifying. I can kinda shut down quickly, as you know.”

She smiled wistfully. “It’s just your defense mechanism, we all have one.”

“Rebecca asked me what I wanted with Jackie, what I envisioned. I wanted someone to come home to after a long day at work, to share my dreams with, to do things for, and to make a family with. I really believed it was her or I wouldn’t have proposed.”

Tessa felt her chest tightening. Out of all the milestones they shared together, his engagement was not one she ever pictured. It still stung.

“These last few days, spending time with you—hearing about your life with Morgan and the plans you’re making for the future, like you said, I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get everything you deserve and want. You’re brilliant and beautiful, Tessa. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. I—“His voice faltered. “I want you to be happy and the way you look at Morgan and talk about him, I know he makes you happy.” Scott stopped; he couldn’t bring himself to tell Tessa what he really wanted to, he didn’t want to cloud her thoughts.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry I dumped all this on you. I know we talked about boundaries.”

“No, I’m glad you told me. You know, I never thought about marriage or having kids. When Elisha introduced me to Morgan, I was dead set against dating anyone, especially a famous athlete. He’s also younger than me and I just didn’t want to make the effort. But I knew if I didn’t try, I would regret it. So much in my life was changing, we were going to retire, I wanted to go back to school, I wanted to pursue other goals. So, I said yes and I’m so glad I did. He helped me slow down and to appreciate my life in a different way. This pandemic has been so awful for so many people, but for someone like me who was always going, always busy and took pride in that—it was a panacea. I really do love him. He’s wonderful, he loves me.” She rubbed her lips together and played with the hem of her shirt, wrapping it around her finger. “And, yet I still have this emptiness. A part of me that no matter what happens or how happy I am, I can’t fill that hole. And I used to think, am I broken? And, last night I realized that hole I’ve been carrying around for so long is shaped like you.” She gave a half-shrug.

“Tess…”

“No, I need to say this. When anyone ever asked me about us, I always said it was a compliment because it was—we worked so hard to connect off ice. Far be it for me to say to a reporter, while you’re sitting next to me, that I’m not attracted to you which would have been a lie. I know we’re such different people. We have different interests and we see the world so differently. But, at the end of the day, I still love you. I still have that ‘you-shaped’ hole in my heart.” She tucked a small piece of hair behind her ear but it slipped off and skimmed her cheekbone. “And no one else can ever fill it.” Her eyes filled with tears.

Scott reached out and wiped one away. His hand settled on the side of her face.

Tessa knew she needed to stay put; they needed to maintain their boundaries. But, she couldn’t. She crawled into his lap, her legs on either side of his thighs and grabbed the sides of his t-shirt as he cradled her jaw. She pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes. His lips skimmed over chin, bypassed her mouth, and continued a slow journey along her cheekbone. He could taste her tears as he caught them on his lips. He whispered things that made fresh tears nestle in her lashes and slide down her face when she opened her eyes to look at him.

He nuzzled her nose. Before she could even reply, he covered her mouth and kissed her hard.

Tessa slipped her hands under the front of his shirt feeling his skin for the first time. Smooth and warm with the occasional ridge of muscle. She refused to compare him to Morgan, she refused to even think about Morgan at all and not because she felt guilty. She only wanted to think about Scott. Everything about him was comforting to her, the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he kissed her. After twenty years, everything about them was second nature, how they communicated, how they moved with each other, even their jokes were worn and used but never old.

Kissing him shouldn’t be this easy, she thought. The few times they accidentally kissed on ice; Tessa was beside herself. She couldn’t bear to look at him afterwards, but not because she was embarrassed. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to press her body against his; she wanted him inside of her making her come. But, acting on that would have come at such a high price, and it wasn’t one she was willing to pay. Until now.

He gave her a few gentle nips then pulled back. “We have a serious problem with boundaries.”

She looked at him for a split second and barked out a huge laugh. “Ya think?”

“What now?” He knew his answer wouldn’t be a smart one, he was hoping Tessa would be smart enough for both of them.

“Wanna play another game of backgammon?”

“Not what I thought your answer would be, but that sounds safer than the one floating in my head.” He laughed.

Scott set up the board while Tessa checked her phone. She had several dozen notifications from twitter which wasn’t unusual and Scott was tagged as well, which also wasn’t unusual. She set aside her phone.

“Want something to drink? Water? Beer? Wine?” She stood up.

“Water. We’re like one bottle of wine away from really going over the line.”

“Since when do you talk like Taylor Swift?” She grinned.

“Since I’ve developed a serious habit of not controlling myself around you.”

Tessa played better this time, but she still lost. Scott locked up and followed her up the stairs. He washed up and waited for her to tell him it was okay to come into her bathroom to borrow toothpaste. After they finished, he lingered. He didn’t want to go back to his bed; he just needed an excuse to stay.

“So, uh, I’m gonna head to bed. Sleep well, T.” He waited a few seconds and turned. He looked down and saw her hand on his bicep.

“Stay. With me. It’s starting to storm again.”

“Okay, but...”

“Purely platonic.” She assured him.

Morgan high fived Mitch and pumped his fist into the air.

Freddie shook his head. “What the fuck? That’s an impossible shot, Marn.”

“I know. I’d never be able to do it on ice.”

Morgan, Mitch, Auston, and Freddie were playing NHL 20 on the 80” tv in the rec room set up for the team at the hotel. Morgan and Mitch against Auston and Freddie and the game was heated. Half-eaten burgers were on a table along with a few beers.

Auston and Freddie turned off the game and started putting the equipment away. Morgan grabbed his beer and drained most of it.

“Hear from Tess today?” Mitch asked as he grabbed a cold fry.

“Yeah, a few texts. She’s good. The storm was really bad; it knocked out the power for the entire night but not a lot of damage.”

“You feel better?”

“I guess.”

“Dude…”

“It is what it is. I have a job to do here and I can’t spend my days and nights worrying about this. I trust her and love her and I know she loves me.”

“When do you get Zoë?”

“She’s supposed to come in July. Tess may have to pick her up herself. How’s Steph doing?”

“Good, she’s spending a lot of time with her sister, they’re trying to launch this cocktail page on Instagram. I just hate being away from her and Zeus.”

“Tell me about it.”

Morgan’s phone dinged. He checked it and saw a text from Tessa telling him to sleep well and she would call him tomorrow. He fired off a quick text back telling her he couldn’t wait and he loved her. He saw a bunch of notifications from twitter but ignored them and joined his friends on the couch to watch television.

Tessa settled into the bed and waited for Scott to come back. The wind whipped tree branches against the siding of the house. She got up and plugged her phone into a speaker and selected a playlist. She thought music would calm her and the thought of sleeping in a quiet room with Scott made her nervous.

Scott padded into the room and reached over his shoulder to scratch his back. His shirt lifted a little and Tessa turned away. There was no need to be tempted. She had made him a promise.

“What is this?”

“Never Be Like You by Flume.”

“A little punchy for sleep, no?”

“The rest of the list is… calmer.”

He waited for her to make a move. She slid into bed and pulled back the covers for him. He sat on the edge of the mattress and then swung his feet over and pulled the cover up to his waist. He placed his hands on the outside of the duvet.

“Now, keep those cold feet to yourself, Virtch.”

“What?” She huffed.

“You know how you are…”

“Whatever.” He could hear the playfulness in her voice. “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

“I was thinking about trying to bake bread.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.” He smushed the pillow down and turned to look at her.

“What kind of bread?”

“Just regular bread. Or maybe focaccia, I haven’t decided.”

“My vote is for focaccia.”

Scott chuckled. “You vote then you gotta help.”

Tessa made a little noise. “Fine. But, I’m much better at eating.”

She turned on her side to face him. “Thank you. For staying with me.” The thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Of course.”

Tessa nodded. She listened to the storm roll in again and to Scott’s breathing. When she thought he was asleep she opened her eyes and watched him. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

The first few notes of ‘Movement’ started playing and she inwardly rolled her eyes. She loved this song and had they decided to continue skating she would have asked Sam or Marie to choreograph something for them.

“This is a good song.” His voice was quiet.

“It really is.”

They were playing a game of chicken. He turned onto his side and faced her. He knew it was dangerous being inches from her, but he was past the point of caring. His fingers itched to touch her skin. He flexed them hoping the urge would subside. She must have been feeling the same way because she flipped onto her back and let out a large breath.

His hand was on her thigh and heading north at a slow pace. She stared at the ceiling and silently negotiated with her conscience. His breath was hot on her ear and she wondered when he moved so close.

He should stop. He should respect Tessa’s wish to be platonic, but when she looked at him, he knew he was about to break every rule they ever put in place to maintain their friendship and partnership.

Tessa’s mind raced with thoughts, but she couldn’t focus on one, all of her attention was on his fingertips delicately tracing a path on the top of her thigh. Goosebumps formed on her bare skin as he inched higher and higher and other parts of her began to react. She was surprised at the gentleness of his hands, the same hands that held her tightly for 22 years and never once dropped her.

Scott slid his hand over the fabric of her pajama shorts and rested it on the hem of her tank top. He reasoned he could stop here and turn over and go to sleep without endangering their relationships. He had nearly convinced himself to do the right thing when Tessa turned back on her side and faced him. They locked eyes. Years of unspoken conversations between them on ice and he could read her better than anyone. There was no mistaking the electricity between them. She cast her eyes downward and found his hand under the covers and brushed the back of her fingers up the center of his palm before interlocking their fingers, her pinky between his index and middle finger in their special hold. She pressed her lips together and tried to think of something to say, but words failed her. Instead, she roughed out little patterns on his forearm.

He snuck under her tank top and along the sliver of exposed skin. Even though he knew every part of her body from skating, tonight felt different. Touching her this way was exhilarating and tantalizing. He was already half hard and he knew by the end of the night he would wind up nearly insane like Don Jose.

He swept his hand across her stomach and outlined the curves of her abs with his thumb. The tip of his pointer nudged her piercing and he couldn’t resist going back and giving it a little tug. A small noise from Tessa and his fingers were back playing with it, swirling his finger over the stud.

Tessa inhaled sharply and wrapped her hand around his forearm. He stopped. She loosened her grip and he continued playing with her.

Scott eased her tank top up higher and clenched his jaw.

Tessa’s heart began pounding so loudly; it was all she could hear. She concentrated on the way his hand felt on her, sensual and exciting, and gazed into his eyes. It was a relaxation technique JF had taught them. Find the other person’s eyes and lock in. Breathe in and out slowly and you will feel relaxed. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t feel relaxed; more like a combination of lust, desire, and love. Some might say she should have added shame to the bevy of emotions.

He contemplated his next move and tried not to think about the enormity of what was happening. He knew no matter how much distance he put between them or how he tried to live without her, how he justified his decisions—he would never be over her. They would never be over each other.

But he couldn’t do this. Not to her and not to Jackie or Morgan. They weren’t those people. He had already taken it far enough. He flopped onto his back, cursing his lack of control. He threw back the covers and sat on the edge of bed.

“Scott…” She sat up; her hand frozen in mid-air, afraid to touch him.

He swallowed thickly. “I don’t want you to hate me. And if I didn’t stop, you’d hate me. You’d hate yourself.” Scott looked off towards the corner of her room. “I won’t ever be sorry for wanting you. I know I should be. Every time we kiss, it gets harder and harder to do the right thing and I feel like a terrible person.”

“You’re not terrible. I’m the one who asked you to stay. I used the storm as an excuse, but I didn’t stop you. What does that make me?”

He turned around and looked at her. The moonlight illuminating the side of her face and her eyes glistening with unshed tears, she was absolutely stunning. His very own Helen of Troy. He was impressed he had remembered the story from high school.

“I need to talk to Jackie. It’s not fair to her. I haven’t been fair to her for a long time. Some things I can’t help, like the way I feel about you. She deserves me to be honest with her.”

“I don’t want you to break up with her for me.”

“Well, we certainly think a lot of ourselves, young lady.” He raised his eyebrows.

“You know what I mean.” She gave him a gentle smile.

“Do you want me to go back to my room?” He looked down at the comforter.

“No.”

He settled back into the bed. Tessa waited and when he opened his arm, she nestled against his body, fitting perfectly. He played with her hair, combing his fingers through her strands.

““You’re not broken, Tessa.”

She buried her face into his neck and kissed along the underside of his jaw. She pulled his face to her and kissed him gently. “And, you’re a good man.” She laid back down.

He kissed the top of her head and played with her hair as she fell asleep.

The early morning summer sunlight created a diffused haze in Tessa’s room, dust dancing in the rays. She stretched and her arm hit the empty space next to her. It still felt warm so Scott couldn’t have been gone long. She slipped her pajama shorts off and then her panties. Her hand traced the same path as Scott’s fingers on her abdomen, she shuddered when she thought of what they nearly did, how he had stopped them. The daylight bringing her guilt to the surface and her gratitude for Scott being strong enough to stop them when she wasn’t. She had to talk to Morgan. Breaking up with him when he was away wasn’t going to be easy, in fact it was downright crappy. She wasn’t sure she was brave enough or heartless enough to do that. One thing was for sure, she and Scott couldn’t act on their feelings until they both were honest with their partners. She pulled her hair up into a bun and brushed her teeth.

“Scott?” She called out as she came down the stairs.

The basement door was ajar and she could hear a woman’s voice encouraging the riders to dig deep and earn that sweat.

She headed into the kitchen and fixed a mug of hot lemon water. She sipped it while standing at the sink watching a squirrel climb a tree. She felt sorry for the little guy, he was scurrying up the trunk thinking there were acorns. While she admired how determined he was to get to the branch so he could have a snack, she knew the utter disappointment that would befall him when he realized his efforts were all for nothing. She thought about ordering a seed mixture online and hanging feeders, but part of life is figuring out how to deal with the lemons that life hands you.

Her Noni always told her ‘you can make lemonade or you can make lemon juice. It’s your choice, Tessa.’ She had many opportunities to turn lemons into lemonade; the gut-wrenching heartbreak at losing out on Torino in 2006, the surgeries, Marina’s abandonment, Sochi, the comeback. Every time life tried to throw her a fast pitch down the center she swung as hard as she could for the fences. Whatever happened with Morgan and Scott, she’d make lemonade because she didn’t know any other way.

She reached for her phone and after checking her email, she opened her Twitter timeline and quietly let out an expletive.

“What is it?” Scott asked, sounding breathless.

“Hey…”

“You okay?” He stepped closer.

“The delivery person that came from Bungalow, was it a girl?”

“Uh, ye-ah. About 19 or so. Why?”

“She tweeted. ‘Just dropped off burgers and fries. Guy answers the door and it’s Olympian Scott Moir. The house belongs to Tessa Virtue. I’m dying. So, how’s your evening, ladies and gents?’ And she tagged Morgan. So of course, fans are freaking out.”

“Aw shit, T. What do you wanna do about it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, what to do about that tweet and more importantly-- Scott and Tessa talk to Jackie and Morgan, what will they decide?


	6. Though I've Tried, I've Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott try to deal with the fallout of nearly crossing the line and soon realize setting boundaries is one thing, maintaining them is something else.  
> And, Tessa makes a startling confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around. I had a rough time with this chapter. Parts of it did not come easy, but that's what I relish about writing, pushing and pushing until you finally break through.  
> Many thanks to Rook for pushing me and reminding me that I shouldn't ever settle.  
> I hope you all enjoy this. Leave a comment and let me know.  
> (Also, the title for this chapter comes from Canadian goddess, Sarah McLachlan.)

Tessa reached for her phone and after checking her email, she opened her Twitter timeline and quietly let out an expletive.

“What is it?” Scott asked, sounding breathless from his Peloton ride.

When she didn’t answer, he stepped closer. “You okay?”

“The delivery person that came from Bungalow, was it a girl?”

“Uh, ye-ah. About 19 or so. Why?”

“She tweeted. ‘Just dropped off burgers and fries. Guy answers the door and it’s Olympian Scott Moir. The house belongs to Tessa Virtue. I’m dying. So, how’s your evening, ladies and gents?’ And she tagged Morgan. So of course, fans are freaking out.”

“Aw shit, T. What do you wanna do about it?”

“I have no idea. Ignore it like I ignore every other fan freak out?”

“See when you just ignore social media altogether then none of this shit matters.” Scott joked. “I’m gonna go shower. When I come back, we can make bread and pretend we live in the 1800s and the internet doesn’t exist.”

Tessa sipped her coffee and scrolled through her timeline. The responses to the delivery girl’s tweet were as over the top as expected.

_OMG! Sc** and T**sa are together. This is not a drill! I repeat NOT A DRILL._

_S & T together. I love that for us VMies. _

_Fam, Its what we deserve._

_Scoot answering Tessa’s door, this was not on my 2020 bingo card._

Not all of the responses were kind.

_What happened to his Tampa lizard? Did she fucking leave town? God I hope so. Bye bitch!_

_I can’t believe Tessa let Scooter into her house. Is he housetraned?_

_How the fuck you gonna dump thicc ass Morgan for a guy never gave a shit about u?_

As she read, one thing was certain, the education system in Canada and everywhere else for that matter, needed to be revamped. The tweets were littered with spelling and grammatical errors. She checked the time and figured she had about twenty minutes for a quick call with Morgan. She didn’t think about it too much or she would have talked herself out of it.

“Hey babe.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Good. About to head to practice. Everything okay there?”

“Uh, yeah. Scott’s in the shower.” Tessa rolled her eyes at her comment.

“O-kay.”

She quickly got back on track. “How are you feeling about the team’s progress?”

“Pretty good actually. Me and Tyson are looking strong. Muz is stepping up and shutting shit down.”

“I wish I could be there.”

Morgan sighed. “I know, but if we make it past the first round, they’re saying family members can come and stay in the hotel. And if we don’t make it, we’ll still get to see each other.”

“Either way I win.” She teased.

“So, what are you up to today?” He asked, still laughing at her.

She hesitated. Sharing that she was going to bake bread with Scott just didn’t seem like the kind of thing Morgan needed to know.

“Tess?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I—I have some studying to do.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. How are you and the boys staying sane? Let me guess. Video games?”

There was rustling on his end and his voice dipped in and out as he told her about the dynamic duo of ‘Rielly and Marner NHL 20’.

“Sorry for sounding weird, I’m getting dressed.”

She closed her eyes and remembered his body after a swim at the lake. She could feel the water droplets under her fingertips as she pushed him away when he tried to give her a wet hug. His damp hair curling around the nape of his neck and off his forehead. She loved him so much. There was just something gnawing away at the edges and she knew what it was and it scared her.

“I should let you go.” Five little words tossed out with a casualness that masked their real intention.

“Yeah, I don’t want to be late.” He agreed.

“Love you.”

“Love you mo’,” he replied using his signature sign off.

She clutched her phone to her chest and watched the squirrel root around the branch, and when it found nothing, climbed higher, more determined than ever.

Tessa blew a strand of hair off her face. When Scott suggested they bake bread she honestly thought she could perch herself at the island and watch him. Now, she was covered in a light dusting of flour and kneading the dough under his watchful eye.

“You know this is really supposed to be your thing.” She grumbled.

“Fine. Scoot.” He bumped her hip and rolled the dough ball towards himself and then pushed it away with the heel of his hand.

Tessa ignored the way his hands worked as she washed the stickiness off hers. She didn’t need distractions.

“What do you wanna do while the bread’s rising?” Scott drizzled oil into a glass bowl.

“We could go for another walk? I also have to do laundry at some point. You can too, if you want.”

He swiped the dough ball around the oil, covered it with a dish towel, and placed it in a corner of the counter away from the window.

“Sounds like a plan. Let me throw my sneakers on.”

Tessa slowly tied her shoelaces. Moments like this morning, just the two of them, not having to force a conversation is why they made such a good team for twenty-two years. Isn’t that what a relationship should be she thought. _Effortless._ They also challenged each other in a good way and supported each other so beautifully.

_December 2019_

_“You keep saying you want to go back to school, T. You keep saying you want to get your MBA. Then, do it." Scott pressed._

_"I know. I just—”_

_“Just what? You’re afraid? I get it. Doing something new is always a little scary. But you’re the smartest person I know, Tess. And, if you really want to do this. If this is what's in your heart, then don’t keep waiting. Did you turn in your application yet?”_

_Tessa bit her lip. “Not yet.”_

_“What the hell are you waiting for? Poj’s doing it. You wouldn’t be alone.”_

_Tessa gripped the phone. Scott was right. “Okay. I’ll send it in.”_

_“Listen, I know a lot is changing. And, it’s gonna change more, some for the better and some not. But I believe in you. You got this.”_

_Tessa nodded before she remembered he couldn’t see her. Attending Queen’s would be her first big step without Scott. Time to put her big girl pants on and do it._

_“Thanks.”_

_“And just think when you graduate and look out into the crowd, you’ll see me cheering and screaming for you. I’ll be wearing my cap and gown from Western U.”_

_She giggled. “Scott.”_

_“Uh, Doctor Moir. Thank you very much.”_

All these years later and no one gave her confidence a boost like Scott Moir. No one understood her insecurities or her doubts the way he did. Maybe because he shared them having been a world-class athlete and that came with the territory or maybe because they had spent nearly every waking hour together for two decades. More than likely, it was just Scott. Compassionate and observant Scott.

The sun peeked through the layer of clouds and the familiar scent of fresh air and wet earth that happens after a good rainstorm settled over them.

“Patch texted me.”

Tessa glanced over. “How are he and Marie?”

“Good. They really want me to come to Montreal and help with Madi and Zach, specifically Zach. Help him connect more. Get out of his head.”

“And?”

“Well, obviously they know about the lockdown. They said once it’s over they want to talk more about it. Just have me come for a week to try it out. They’re doing Hallelujah again.”

Tessa made a happy noise. Madi and Zach had attempted Hallelujah several years before and it was probably their best program. Of course, everyone in the skating world had done Hallelujah. Tessa and Scott had skated to it first in ‘Stars on Ice’ in 2012 and again in the 2013 season at competition galas. They always did the Jeff Buckley’s version. Despite Leonard Cohen’s Canadian heritage, Jeff’s version was their favorite.

“Have you seen it?” She inquired.

“Bits and pieces. Marie reworked it. I see stuff I would change. But, Madi and Zach are really committed.”

“You should do it. It’s a way for you to get more choreography experience and wear that coaching cap. You could definitely help Zach.”

“Yeah. We’ll see.”

“What do you always tell me? That if I want to do it, I should. If it’s in my heart, then don’t keep waiting.”

“You’re not allowed to use my logic on me, T.”

She touched his bicep. “I mean it. You would be an amazing choreographer. You always say I was the stronger dancer and maybe technically I am, but I always loved seeing how you interpreted a song. You’re gifted, Scott.”

He lifted his shoulder and shot her a shy look.

“Only if you promise to at least think about joining me on the ice at some point.”

Tessa didn’t have a desire to coach, but she worked with Sasha Fear back in January. Although she liked Sasha a lot and she was very complimentary of Tessa’s advice, the experience felt odd. She narrowed it down to being on ice without Scott. The idea of coaching with him appealed to her. “If it means you’ll take Patrice seriously, then fine. I will think about it.”

She could see the neighborhood park up ahead, the sunlight dipped behind the clouds and left everything looking dull and gray again. 

Halfway around the lake, they stopped and sat on a bench. Scott pulled the plastic baggie holding his mask out of his pocket and fiddled with it. He always had so much energy.

“Was there any more fallout from the tweet?” He flipped the bag over.

“I haven’t looked.” She casually reached over to quiet his movements.

“Are you gonna say anything?”

“I don’t know. Anything I say will be misinterpreted. I think I should just let it go.”

Scott’s eyes flitted across the water.

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed his finger over the plastic.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Eh. Still.”

“People are always going to talk about us, always have opinions. I’ve learned to not pay attention. Besides, Morgan didn’t say anything when we spoke this morning.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Good. You’ll be happy to know practice is going well.”

She chewed on her lip, hesitant to share what Morgan had told her. “He said if they make it through to the second round that I can go be with him. The league will let family and significant others come stay at the hotel.”

A sadness crept into Scott’s heart, but he quickly dismissed it. Tessa was not his.

“That’ll definitely lift spirits up. It’s gotta be so weird not having fans in the arena and on top of it you can’t see family or significant others. It’s one thing to be away for a week but months?”

“I agree.”

“Just gives the boys added incentive.” He winked.

She shook her head at him even though she had the same naughty thought.

Scott grew quiet. They hadn’t talked about what happened the night before and he wasn’t sure how to initiate a conversation so he decided to be direct.

“So, are we gonna talk about last night?”

Tessa picked an imaginary piece of lint off her leggings. “What’s there to say? We stopped ourselves.”

“It took every ounce of strength I had. And if we’re being honest, you didn’t try to stop me at all.”

Tessa refused to make eye contact. Scott was right. In fact, she hadn’t been able to fall asleep right away because she kept thinking about what could have happened. What she wanted to happen.

She studied his profile, and could see his jawbone tense up.

“We have to respect those boundaries, T. A line in the sand that we don’t cross.”

“People always say that and I never understood it. Lines in the sand aren't permanent. The wind blows them away or the water makes them disappear. Or you erase them yourself. You have to admit we've been pretending for a long time that we haven't been crossing boundaries.”

Scott didn’t disagree. They had perfected the art of fake romance. The problem, the only ones they fooled were themselves.

“I used to laugh when Buttle would get so pissed at us for ‘reinterpreting’ his choreo. Always claiming we were too handsy or not family friendly. It became second nature for me to touch you and push it to the edge. Last night was different and if we’re gonna keep ignoring that line or blurring it—”

She cut him off. “Do you feel guilty about what happened?”

“Do you?”

“I asked you first.”

He turned to look at her. “No.”

Tessa’s stomach flipflopped. She thought for sure he would express remorse.

“I told you I won’t ever be sorry for wanting you or being in love with you.” He ran his hand through the front of his hair. “I feel guilty for how my actions would hurt Jackie or Morgan. But, if given the chance again, I don’t know if I could stop myself. Or would want to.”

Tessa shifted her gaze from his eyes to a spot on his chest. She was overcome with a deep and unapologetic desire to be with Scott. She just didn’t want to hurt anyone and that wasn’t possible.

“I feel the same way.” She finally admitted.

They sat silently watching the wind create tiny ripples in the lake.

Scott inched his hand along the bench towards Tessa. He softly rubbed the side of his pinky against her hand before he turned it over palm facing up. She slotted her fingers through his and held on tightly.

“We need to figure this out, T. No offense but I’m not gonna make it through this quarantine acting like ‘horny seventeen-year-old Scott’.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Seventeen-year-old Scott was certainly something.”

“So’s 32-year-old Scott.”

“I want to figure it out. I really do. Just not in the middle of the park.” She stood up and pulled his hand. “C’mon, let’s finish our walk.”

A few houses away from hers, a group of neighbors were hanging out in a driveway. Four women in their late thirties, socially-distanced in lawn chairs.

Tessa was too busy laughing and teasing Scott who was giving her a piggyback ride to notice. She gave him no choice when she hopped onto his back as they left the park.

“I’m putting you down, T.”

“Noooo. You have to keep carrying me. It’s just a few more steps.”

“Hi Tessa.” One of the women waved.

Tessa managed in between her giggles to respond. “Hi Rebecca.”

The three women openly stared at Scott and her. Tessa knew how it looked, but she wasn’t in the mood to explain the situation.

Scott hoisted her up higher on his back and adjusted his hands around her calves.

“Take care.” She called out and Scott started off towards her home.

“Do you think they have twitter accounts?” He snarked.

Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck tighter and laughed. “We can only hope.”

“How’s Scott?” Maggie dipped another chip into the salsa sitting between her and Jackie.

“Fine.”

“It’s hard being away from family. It never gets easier.”

Maggie was a nurse in the COVID unit. She and Jackie had bonded quickly on her first day when they both had escaped the chaos for a quiet corner inside the cafeteria. Maggie was born in London and never moved away. She and her husband, Steve, had three children.

“How do you even do it Maggie? We’re like barely a week into this and I miss him so much.”

“Steve travels a ton for work so I got used to it. He’s having a harder time. All three kids at once and no grandparents and he’s working from home. Last night he told me he doesn’t want a fourth and he promised me a full spa day once this all ends.” Maggie laughed. “But I do miss my kids so much.”

Jackie smiled and sipped her margarita.

“FaceTime helps. Steve sends photos or little videos of the kids throughout the day. We zoomed with my sister and parents the other day.”

Jackie held back. Her fiancé wouldn’t even return a text.

“Also, these hotel room lunches keep me sane. Seriously, Jackie. Having you and Teresa and Michelle is really what’s helping.”

“I know. I feel the same way. As much as Scott is sympathetic, he can’t really understand. And, obviously he can’t be here.”

“What’s he up to? How’s he keeping busy?” Maggie was one of the few people Jackie confided in that she was engaged to Scott Moir, one half of the most decorated ice skaters in Olympic history.

“He uh… he’s just at home. Working on some projects.”

“Make sure you FaceTime. You know a little alone time.” Maggie raised an eyebrow. “Send him a photo.”

Jackie laughed. “Yeah, uh no. My luck that photo would somehow get out and make the news.”

Maggie laughed and lifted her margarita. “You’re right. Maybe FaceTime is best.”

Jackie stole a glance at her cellphone, at this point it was just a cruel joke.

Scott stacked a lettuce leaf on top of the turkey slice. He spread some mustard on a slice of wheat bread and cut the sandwich on the diagonal because his mom taught him sandwiches taste better that way. He took sandwich making quite seriously. The perfect bite started with the perfect ratio of meat to lettuce and cheese and mustard or mayo. He added a few baby carrots to the plate and some potato chips.

After the walk, Tessa started a load of laundry and headed upstairs to study.

She was quite proud of herself for buckling down and reading through a few assigned articles. A particular quote by John Maxwell caught her eye, “Leaders become great not because of their power but because of their ability to empower others.”

She dragged her highlighter over the words and made a note in the margin. She was copying it in her notebook when she heard a paper slide under her door.

A folded note with her name scrawled in familiar handwriting on the front. She opened it and read.

_You’re invited to a picnic._

_Where: TV room_

_When 1:00pm_

_Menu includes sandwiches prepared by sandwich artist Scott Moir_

He had drawn a rather hysterical picture of a picnic with two stick figures, the woman was in a triangle shaped dress and the man had exaggerated eyebrows, both were eating sandwiches with what appeared to be tubes of lipstick. It was adorable and sweet and her heart never stood a chance.

She headed downstairs and heard him in the tv room. He had moved the cocktail table and laid out four dishtowels to mimic a picnic blanket.

“Look at this. How lovely!” She praised his efforts.

“Ready for a picnic? The ground’s still too wet outside and I was afraid it may rain again, so I thought this is the next best thing.”

“It sure is. What do we have?” She sat down and crisscrossed her legs.

“Turkey sandwiches.”

She picked up a baby carrot and realized that’s what he had attempted to draw. She was incredibly touched by his gesture.

“You’re always feeding me. I feel like I should be making you something.” Tessa lamented as she bit into the carrot.

Scott eyed her. “Like what?”

“Something other than poached eggs and toast.”

“It’s fine, T.” He pushed a mouthful of sandwich to the side. “How’s schoolwork going?”

“Pretty well. I’m reading some interesting ideas about leadership, the hallmarks of what makes someone a good leader and why people follow them. What separates leaders from just being a boss. Better than statistics, for sure. So, when do we get to bake the bread?”

“It needs to rise for another hour.”

Tessa moved a baby carrot back and forth on her plate. She wasn’t sure how to broach the topic of Jackie. She knew it wasn’t really any of her business, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Are you planning on calling Jackie?”

He stiffened. “I was thinking about phoning her after lunch, seeing if she’s around.”

“I think that’s a really good idea.” Tessa hoped she sounded convincing.

He stacked the plates, clearly, he wasn’t comfortable discussing the topic of his fiancée. “I can come get you when I’m about to put the bread in, if you want.”

“Sounds good. I need to check on my laundry and throw it into the dryer. Do you need to do a load?”

“Later’s fine.”

“What do you want to do tonight?” She gathered the dish towels.

“We could watch a movie or if there’s a show you wanted to binge. Unless you’re saving it to watch with Morgan.”

“Either one’s fine. Though I should warn you, I usually fall asleep fifteen minutes into whatever we’re watching, so you pick what you want.”

“Oh, I know. You forget how much tv we watched together, T.”

He stood up and reached for the plates. She went to grab them but he was quicker.

“It’s good, I got ‘em Tess. Go finish studying.”

She knew he wouldn’t back down so she took him up on the offer. As soon as she sat at her desk, her phone buzzed.

“Hi Jord.”

“Hi, how are you?”

“Good.”

“Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Nope. Just finished lunch and am about to do some studying.”

“Oh? What did you have? Maybe it will inspire me.”

“Scott made us an indoor picnic.”

“A picnic?”

She could hear the disapproval in her sister’s voice.

“What?”

“Nothing. That was nice of him,” Jordan replied.

“That’s not what you were thinking.”

The line was quiet.

“Jordan.”

“What?”

“Please stop being passive-aggressive. Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

Jordan exhaled, “What I think doesn’t matter. How’s studying going?”

“Your opinion does matter to me,” Tessa pushed.

“Fine. What’s going on with you and Scott?”

Tessa hesitated; she had never lied to Jordan. Growing up she idolized her sister, was in awe of her beauty and intelligence. Jordan was always her elegant, gorgeous, brilliant, and accomplished sister. Tessa may have appeared that way to the world, but she was just following in Jordan’s footsteps. Jordan excelled at school and loved to read, so little Tessa would take her books and climb onto Jordan’s bed and read too. Jordan took gymnastics and ballet so little Tessa did too. When little Tessa discovered she really liked skating, she finally found something that would separate her from Jordan. Jordan found plenty of success as an adult, but not the stratospheric success of Tessa. Tessa who had a dozen sponsorships and partnerships, five Olympic medals, countless trophies, a book, a jewelry line, an eyewear line, and an NHL star for a boyfriend. Not to mention she was the most popular female Canadian athlete.

“Nothing. What do you think is going on?” Tessa knew what her sister was implying.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.”

“Obviously you have thoughts on the matter, or you wouldn’t be acting this way.”

“How am I acting, Sam?”

“Like you’re trying to catch me in a lie,” Tessa snapped without meaning to.

“Are you lying?”

Tessa chewed on the inside of her cheek. “No.”

“Then it’s all good.” Jordan knew an accusatory tone wouldn’t work on her sister. She let her misgivings go for the time being. “How’s Morgan?”

“He’s good. Spoke to him this morning. Practice is going well. We’re both so excited to pick up Zoë. I’m a little worried that if he makes it into the playoffs, he won’t be able to go with me. I know that sounds so stupid, but I want him to be there. I asked Richelle to take photos. I know it’s shamefully ridiculous, but I just want to capture her first sweet moments with us.”

“Aw, Sam. If he doesn’t get home in time, I’ll go with you. I know it’s not the same.”

How could she admit to her sister that she was a fraud, a cheater? How could she admit she risked her relationship with Morgan? And for what? Her sister was always very fond of Scott but in the last year that diminished a bit. Jordan resented him for not telling Tessa about his engagement. The fraying started when he acted as Jordan put it ‘like a selfish asshole’ for bringing Jackie to the Walk of Fame gala.

_December 2018_

_“Sam, he’s being selfish. It’s your night too.”_

_“He’s allowed to bring a guest. She’s his girlfriend.”_

_“For what? Three months? I’ve had a longer relationship with my barista.”_

_“That’s not fair.”_

_“No, that is fair. What’s not fair is bringing a plus one to the most important night of your lives. Like he just has to have her there. He can’t be alone. Or just be with you.”_

_“We’re not a couple.”_

_“I know that. But I just think it’s incredibly selfish. And typical Scott.”_

_“Jordan!” Kate interrupted having had enough of her daughters’ squabbling. “This is Tessa’s night and Scott’s too. If she’s not bothered by Jackie, then you shouldn’t be either.”_

_Tessa couldn’t believe how rude her sister was being. She was seconds away from putting on the most gorgeous dress and her hair and makeup were flawless. She was accepting one of their country’s highest honors. Why couldn’t her sister just be happy for her?_

_Jordan’s face relaxed. She pushed Tessa’s hair off her shoulders and smiled. “I love you baby sister and I am so proud of you. This is a magnificent honor. I’m sorry. You know I love Scott. I just…”_

_“I know. Am I thrilled he’s bringing her? To be honest, no. But, that’s his decision.”_

_Tessa walked across the hotel lobby towards Scott. The feeling of satisfaction at seeing his face when he spotted her was something she would never forget. His eyes filled with tears and he didn’t move, he just stared._

_“Hi.” She clutched her pink jacket._

_“Hi-i,” He stammered. “My god, T. You look absolutely stunning. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”_

_Tessa smiled knowing the hold she had over her partner would never fade away._

“I have to tell you something,” Tessa blurted out.

Either Jordan didn’t hear her or the connection was bad. “…next barre class is tomorrow. You two should zoom in.”

Tessa swallowed and jumped in. “He’s in love with me.”

Jordan stopped, “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I said Scott’s in love with me.”

“Scott?”

“Yes.”

“Scott Moir,” Jordan repeated.

“The only one we know.”

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Jordan suggested.

Tessa explained how things were fine the first day of isolation and then her accidental slip-up posting the photo of Scott’s foot. Jackie telling Scott she wanted to take a break. Tessa finally described Scott’s confession four days ago that turned her world upside down.

“All this in just the last five days?” Jordan was incredulous.

“I know. It feels like it’s been six months,” Tessa agreed.

“I guess my first question is what do you plan on doing with this new information?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really allowed myself to think about Scott as anything other than my skating or business partner. We both knew that our on-ice relationship was more important than anything else. Besides, I didn’t think for a second he would see me that way. Of course, we love each other, but not like that.”

Tessa stood up and quietly shut her office door.

“During the comeback, we grew closer. He changed so much, as you know. He was still the same intense, competitive Scott, but he was also very affectionate and… I can’t explain it.”

“You don’t have to; I’ve heard his interviews.”

Tessa tried not to laugh. “Remember how we went to Antwerp after PyeongChang, just the two of us? I think he really thought maybe we could put aside everything we’d been taught and told ourselves. But I just was spiraling and I felt so unsettled. Then, he found Jackie. And I found Morgan and while I’m in love with him, there’s something about Scott that I can’t shake. We’re so different in every way. But having him here now made me realize, I just missed him so much. I miss skating with him, and riding in the car to practice, and our stupid 20-year-old jokes. Knowing his thoughts. I even missed the way he smells. The way he calls me Virtch or T or T-bone.”

“Tessa, what are you saying?”

“I kissed him.”

Jordan made a series of noises like the air being let out of a balloon. “Wh-a-a-at?”

“We’ve kissed.”

“That implies you’ve kissed more than once.”

“Hmm mmm.”

“Sam…” Jordan sounded like she was scolding her.

“It’s not like I meant for it to happen. I’m ashamed that I let it go this far.”

“How many times have you kissed?”

Tessa counted in her head. “Three?”

“You need to stop right now, you know that.”

“I know. We have boundaries now.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” Tessa could hear the eyerolling. “What about Morgan? Are you going to tell him?”

“I can’t, Jordan. It would destroy him. It would destroy us. I do love him. I’ve never felt this way about a man. Besides, we’re moving in together; we’re getting a dog. We’re creating a life. I can’t ruin that.”

“Yet, you kissed Scott. Your supposed platonic ice dancing partner. Three times.”

A feeling of guilt and shame washed over Tessa. Hearing it out loud was like a thousand knives stabbing her at once. She had never cheated on a boyfriend. She had never cheated at anything. Everything she had in life she earned through hard work, practice, and more practice. Cheating with Scott was so easy. It didn’t require any effort.

“I feel terrible.”

“People cheat, Tessa. That’s not the point. The point is _you’re_ not a cheater.”

Tessa wiped a tear off her cheek. Disappointing Jordan was the last thing she wanted to do; she couldn’t bear to hear the reckoning in her tone.

“Part of me thinks I should break up with Morgan.”

“Because you kissed Scott?”

Tessa didn’t know what to say.

“Are you in love with him?”

Her silence was the answer.

“Does he know?”

Images of them clawing at each other in her dining room flashed in her mind.

“Yes. And before you say anything, he was insistent that I not break up with Morgan.”

“How noble of him.”

“Please don’t blame him.”

“I’m not. This is on both of you. You know I love Scott. I may love him some times more than others, but I know he’s a really good guy. And, I know he would never hurt you or anyone else intentionally.” Jordan paused. “But you and Morgan are so good together. He’s crazy about you and you’re crazy about him.”

“I’m just so confused.”

“Tell me why you kissed Scott,” Jordan asked gently.

“I don’t know. It just happened.”

“Tessa, picking up the wrong coffee drink just happens.”

“That’s the second coffee reference you’ve made, you must really want some.”

Jordan chuckled, “I’m being serious, Sam. Kissing Scott didn’t just happen. There’s intent behind it even if you’re too scared or too ashamed to admit it.”

“I really can’t do this right now. I need to finish studying.” Tessa was getting upset. Jordan’s words stung. She needed her support, to tell her it was okay even though it wasn’t. She needed to live in the lie for a while longer, to justify her bad behavior.

“I know you expect me to tell you it’s all going to be fine. I won’t do that. Scott’s engaged. And, you’re a month away from moving in with Morgan. Why now? Why not two years ago?”

“I have no idea,” Tessa sniffled. “I don’t like disappointing you.”

“Oh Sam, I’m not disappointed in you. I get it. Scott’s been the one constant man in your life for more than twenty years. You’ve shared a lot. I’m not surprised, I’m just surprised it took this long. I mean I kinda felt like you always had a bit of a crush on him even though you said you didn’t. And, I know you were never together, but it’s clear he loves you and I don’t think it’s just in that special ‘Virtue Moir’ way.”

“When we retired, it felt like I was losing my best friend. The one person who knew me better than anyone for all those years. I could never help people understand how I feel about him because I don’t really understand it. I just know I need him in my life.”

“He is there. Just in a different way. The way he’s supposed to be.”

“But what if…”

“I hate ‘what-ifs’ and you know that. There are other people involved. Other hearts. And as much as you may not like Jackie, she is Scott’s fiancée.”

“I like Jackie.”

“Tessa. You guys get along for Scott’s sake. Be honest. I was the one who was friends with her. She’s cordial to you and you’re cordial to her. Neither of you are interested in being more. Your commonality is Scott.”

“He’s always made a huge effort to separate his business and personal life. I’ve never really known any of his girlfriends.”

“And for good reason. Imagine dating Scott and then seeing him hold his business partner and touch her and hug her and say all that overly sweet stuff in interviews. Trust me, it’s not easy being Scott Moir’s girlfriend. Whether you admit it Tessa, he sees you as the ultimate woman; gorgeous, brilliant, talented. I’m surprised Jackie stayed. I’m sure it’s one reason why he distanced himself and brought her to Nashville and the Walk of Fame and bolted for Florida the first chance he got. He had to prove to her and to himself that you didn’t have this unnatural hold over him. By his own admission, he’s the absolute worst at having a significant other and maintaining his relationship with you. And the fact that you both have allowed yourself to cross this line just shows you I’m right.”

Tessa had to agree, but it hurt way more than she was willing to admit.

One flight below, Scott laid down on his bed and hit the send button on his phone.

“Hey,” Jackie smiled.

“Hey you, how are you?”

“Good.”

“Do you have the day off?”

She nodded, “I do.”

Scott scratched the nape of his neck and scrubbed his fingers across his mouth.

“Jacks, I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner.”

“Why didn’t you?” She looked angry.

Scott pulled his mouth down. “I didn’t know what to say. I was hurt that you said you needed a break. I—”

“That doesn’t excuse you ignoring me. Look, I don’t want to fight. I’ve been alone in my thoughts for two days now. I was so worried about you during the storm. I texted you and texted you. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking my fiancée just basically said she was done with me.”

“That’s what you wanted to hear.”

“Then you tell me what I should’ve been thinking?”

Jackie shook her head. “You should’ve been thinking about me. About us. You have no idea how much _you_ hurt _me_. When I asked you who you saw at the end of the aisle on your wedding day, you should have answered right away that it was me. You didn’t. It made me feel like such shit.”

“It was a ridiculous question.” Scott immediately regretted his harsh words.

They stared at each other for a few seconds.

“So, what now?” Scott asked.

“I love you Scott. So much. I want to marry you. And I think you really believe you love me too.” She looked down.

“What are you saying Jackie?”

“You couldn’t be bothered to return any of my texts. What does that tell you? I get that you think you were respecting me, but we both know that’s not really what you were doing. I don’t know what’s going on with you. I don’t know if it’s cold feet or something deeper. I do know that you shouldn’t have any doubt about marrying me and I think you do. I don’t blame you. I just need for you to be sure about what you want. Because I am.”

She could see Scott’s eyes filling with tears and her heart broke as he used the heel of his hand to make them stop. Her fiancé was a loving and kind man. He was funny and sweet. He was handsome, sexy, and he made her feel special and loved. Her friends really liked him. Her parents loved him. And she did too. With all of her heart. She just didn’t know if it was enough to make him hers forever.

Tessa walked down the hallway and listened at Scott’s door. When she didn’t hear anything, she gently knocked and pushed it open. Scott was on the bed, his right arm draped over his eyes. His cellphone was lying at the foot of the bed, like it had been tossed aside.

She thought he was napping until he called her name quietly.

He sniffed and pulled his arm away. He wouldn’t look at her.

“I called Jackie.”

“How did that go? You don’t have to tell me if…”

“It sucked. I’m pretty sure she’s figured out I’m having second thoughts. I don’t think she knows the reasons, but she’s probably got a good sense. She may even break up with me.”

“I doubt that. I think she’s just very stressed with everything going on. It’s a lot to be immersed in every day. She doesn’t really get a break.”

“I think it’s more than that.”

“Do you want to be alone because I can go?”

“No. Stay. Distract me.” He scooted off to the side.

Tessa laid down gingerly next to him and folded her hands over her stomach and stared at the ceiling.

“Jordan called.”

“How’s the other Virtue sister?”

“She’s good.” Tessa wasn’t sure if she should tell Scott she confessed to Jordan.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing.”

Tessa made a non-committal grunt.

Scott stretched his arm over her head. “C’mere. Let’s nap.”

Tessa turned on her side and leaned into the comfort of his arms.

Patrice added a pinch of sugar to the pot. He stirred the contents and took a small taste. His wife, Marie-France, adored his marinara sauce. She loved to tease how a Montreal-born man with French parents excelled at making Italian sauce.

“Ça sent bon.” Marie-France kissed his cheek. “What do you want?”

“What makes you think I want anything?”

Marie-France raised a perfect eyebrow. “We’ve been married for 12 years, together for longer. I know you.”

“Here… taste.”

Marie-France blew on the spoon and sampled the red sauce. “Mmmm.”

“Maybe there is something I have been thinking about.” Patrice admitted as he turned down the gas under the pot.

Marie-France sighed and playfully rolled her eyes. “Will I need wine for this?”

She sat down at the table and noticed his laptop was open with a frozen image of Tessa and Scott’s ‘Prince’ routine.

Patrice poured a generous glass of wine for his wife. “Scott says he will think about our invitation. I want him to do more than think.”

“You want me to call him?”

“Oui. I think he’s wavering. Partly because Jackie doesn’t want to come here and partly because he’s insecure.”

“Well, I can’t do anything about Jackie but I can try to convince him to help out. He’s looked at the videos. He knows what he’s working with. He already sent notes.”

“It’s more than that Marie. I’m thinking we need him to be on the team. Permanently.”

“Looks like somebody is in his feelings.” She pressed the spacebar and the familiar ‘Now representing Canada, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir’ played on the computer speakers.

“Do you remember how excited they were to skate to Prince?” Marie asked.

“It was brilliant choreo and they skated so strongly. It’s when I knew they were gonna be unstoppable.” Patrice admitted.

“Which one is this?”

“2017 Worlds.”

“Ah, the neck kiss.” Marie scrunched her nose. “Le petit brigand.”

Patrice watched the screen as the first few notes of ‘Kiss’ hit, and Scott mouthed Prince’s words. How many times had he secretly and not so secretly wished his two favorite skaters would get out of their own way and see what was in front of them? He knew they were both happy now, and yet he still thought about the ‘what if’ from time to time.

“Mon Cherie, they are happy.” Marie patted her husband’s hand.

“I know.”

“Not every ice dance team falls in love and lives happily ever after like a fairytale.”

“I just thought. I hoped that they would find what we have. When I look at them, I see.” He caught himself and swallowed. “I see so much of us. But, more intense. More passion.”

“Oh, I think we have plenty of passion.” She winked and sipped her wine. “What you saw is what everyone else did. Two people very committed to each other and their sport. You see yourself in Scott. Little boy learns to ice skate to be better at hockey. Finds out he can hang out with girls if he skates. And, then finds a partner who he loves to skate with.”

Patrice bobbled his head side to side. “We both found a partner that we love. I found you. He found Tessa. It made all the difference.”

“What are you saying?”

“Whenever I talk to Scott, he talks about wanting to coach more, and I don’t think ISC is challenging enough. He has the ability to coach Olympic-caliber. I want to offer him a full-time coaching job here. With us.”

Marie sighed. “He will not come. Jackie doesn’t want to live here and he won’t leave her.”

“But maybe we can have him here on a special schedule where he gets to go home on some weekends or for a week here and there. We can figure it out.”

“Patrice. I love you and I love the way your mind works. I just don’t think he will say yes.”

The video ended and the next one started. Scott and Tessa’s free dance to ‘Pilgrims on a Journey' and 'Latch’. They both watched as the duo glided across the ice weightless. Patrice slipped his hand into Marie’s. He was determined to find a way to bring Scott into the I.AM family. As the music ended, Tessa and Scott spun to their knees and Scott laid his head on Tessa’s chest as she gave a little rub to his ear. Scott had stumbled on a spin but recovered. Patrice knew Scott was angry at himself as they couldn’t afford mistakes with Gui and Gabi breathing down their necks. Scott’s grandfather was sick and he was devastated knowing the end was near. Tessa was so worried about him. He wasn’t sleeping well and didn’t have an appetite and would push himself to exhaustion in the gym. It was then that Patrice saw the true nature of their relationship.

_March 2017_

_“I’m going to see if Scott wants to grab a cup of coffee. When you’re ready to head out for shopping, text me, Cherie.” Patrice told his wife as she smoothed moisturizer on her face._

_“Oui” She turned her cheek for a kiss._

_Scott had been distracted by his grandfather’s illness and despite sitting in first place after the short dance, Patrice wanted to check on one of his favorite skaters._

_He knocked softly on his hotel door._

_“Oh!” He barked loudly caught off guard seeing Tessa. “I… “ He checked the room number._

_“Scott’s taking a nap." Tessa smiled._

_“Okay. I came to see if he wanted to grab a coffee.” Patrice took in her slightly disheveled appearance, hair piled on her head with a few flyaways, sweatpants and a t-shirt with the phrase ‘First… coffee’._

_“That’s very sweet of you.” She turned her head towards the room and back to Patrice. “It’s been so hard for him to sleep. He finally gave in about 45 minutes ago.”_

_“I see.”_

_“Sometimes he finds it easier if I’m with him. It’s leftover from when we were kids. We always napped in the car on the way to morning practice.”_

_Patrice thought it was less about a childhood habit and more about two adults in a game of chicken, but it wasn’t his place to say anything._

_“Well, I’ll let you get back to him.”_

_Tessa nodded. “I’ll tell him you stopped by.”_

_“What happened to coffee?” Marie asked when he returned to the room a few minutes later._

_“He was taking a nap.” Patrice watched his wife dress. “With Tessa.”_

_She looked up from zipping her jeans. “Excuse me?”_

_“Tessa answered his door and said he was napping, and she looked like she had been…”_

_Marie didn’t say a word._

_“She said something about napping together as children and how it helped Scott.”_

_“I bet.” Marie pulled on her dark gray overcoat and belted it. “Well, you can take me for a cup of coffee and then we can go find a snow globe for Billie. And, if you’re lucky, I’ll nap with you later.”_

Patrice decided he wouldn’t give up on Scott. And, he wouldn’t give up on Scott and Tessa. That last part he wouldn’t share with Marie. He knew it was wishful thinking, and they could say what they want about just being friends and it not being a romantic love, but he had a front row seat to their relationship and he was not blind.

“How about we color with Billie for a bit before dinner?” Marie smoothed her hand over Patrice’s cheek.

“Sounds perfect.” He smiled.

Scott opened his eyes to find Tessa staring at him.

“Don’t be a creeper, Virtch.”

She scrunched her nose. “Don’t flatter yourself, I just woke up.”

He patted around the bed. She sat up and reached for his phone where he had tossed it and handed it over.

“Thanks.” He checked the time. “Feels like I slept for two hours not twenty minutes.”

“I know. I love a good power nap.”

“Suddenly you’re a good napper?”

“Once I slowed down, it just got easier. I napped all of the time in Vancouver.”

“No longer restless? I didn’t read about that.”

She shoved his shoulder and hopped off the bed.

Scott punched small holes into the rectangular-shaped dough with his fingertips.

“Can you grab the olive oil and the thyme and rosemary and salt, please.” He pointed to the counter where he had left everything.

Tessa much preferred being his sous chef and handing him items rather than take responsibility for cooking. Watching him so at ease in her kitchen was comforting. It was also quite sexy, but she did her best to ignore that feeling.

“What are you gonna serve with the focaccia?”

“I figured I would do a salad, add some grilled chicken breast.”

“Who are you and what have you done with the carnivorous Scott Moir?”

“I do like vegetables, ya know.” He slid the baking sheet into the oven and set the timer.

_Don’t get too comfortable with him in your kitchen, Tessa._

_You’re just borrowing him, Tessa._

_He’s not yours._

The voices in her head taunted her. She flicked on her remote speaker and helped Scott tidy up.

“Ohhh I love this song.” Tessa danced around the island as she wiped it down. “Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening…”

She was surprised when Scott belted out the next lyric. “I want more berries. And that summer feelin'…”

He rinsed off his hands and wiped them dry and scooped her into his arms for a quick dance.

“I'm just thinking out loud. I don't know if I could ever go without… Watermelon sugar high!” He sang to her as he twirled them around the kitchen.

“Watermelon sugar high! Watermelon sugar high! Watermelon sugar high! Watermelon sugar.” They sang together.

He spun her away from him and she danced along, her right arm straight up in the air and bopped to the beat. Scott chuckled. It never failed; she had used this move for years. She swiveled her hips from side to side and sang the chorus. Scott took her hands and waltzed them around.

The electricity between them was palpable. Years on ice and off produced a synchronization that was unparalleled. She and Morgan had dance parties which were mostly her dancing and him watching. He tried, but he didn’t have the same gift of grace as Scott. He wasn’t bad, he just wasn’t great. He picked up choreography pretty quickly, she had taught him a few steps and she found it adorable. There was no denying she loved dancing with Scott. He was always the first on the dance floor during the skating banquets or any function, for that matter. He was like the Energizer Bunny; he could dance for hours.

Dancing with Tessa was easy, Scott thought as he led her around the kitchen. His hands fit perfectly along her curves and they moved together without trying. He tried to keep his distance, but he couldn’t resist a quick sniff of her neck as he pulled and pushed with her.

“I just wanna taste it. I just wanna taste it. Watermelon sugar high. Watermelon sugar.” Scott thrust their hands into the air like the ending position for their ‘Prince’ skate.

Tessa laughed, breathless from their impromptu rug-cutting, but she knew if she didn’t let his hand go soon, she would be in dangerous territory.

“Woo! Alright, I’m gonna get started on grilling the chicken.” He paid no attention to his heart pounding and the way he missed holding her in his arms.

“What can I do?”

Scott placed his hand on his chest. “You wanna help?”

“Not if you’re going to be mean about it.” She replied with fake indignation.

“You can cut up the veggies, T.”

Scott handed her a few carrots and tomatoes and tried not to micromanage her horrible knife skills. They worked quietly with the occasional singing. The aroma of the focaccia filled the kitchen. Scott grilled up chicken breasts and arranged the salads.

They brought their dinner to the kitchen table along with a bottle of white wine. Halfway through the meal, Tessa worked up the courage to tell Scott that she had confessed to Jordan.

“I told Jordan about what happened.”

Scott looked up from his nearly empty plate. “What do you mean about what happened?”

“About…” She lifted her shoulder. “Us.”

“Why?” His eyebrows scrunched together.

“Because she’s my sister and she could tell something was going on.”

“What did she say?”

“Obviously, she’s not happy. I mean she’s not angry. More like concerned.” Tessa sipped her wine regretting she even brought the topic up.

Scott put his fork down and leaned back.

“Are you mad at me? You told Danny.” She realized a second too late how she knew that information.

“I know… wait, how do you know that?”

Tessa looked off to the side. “I accidentally overheard you confessing to him. I know it seems like I’m a professional eavesdropper, but I promise you I’m not. I was looking for you and you had your phone on speaker.”

“Maybe your business venture should be spy-related or private detective agency.” He raised his eyebrows.

She laughed a little. “It’s not like I was trying, I assure you.”

“Well then you know Danny was pretty pissed at me.”

“I think it was more concern like Jordan. He knows how much you have at stake, and the commitment you made to Jackie.” She left out the part about the conversation she had with Danny right after they won gold.

The now familiar sound of rain tapped against the window.

Tessa knew he didn’t go looking for Jackie, but it was ironic and just her bad luck that his so-called first skating partner reemerged in his life just when he was ready to settle down.

“I told Jordan having you here made me realize how much I missed you. Not just the skating part, but all the peripheral things like car rides, our inside jokes and just that overall comfort of knowing someone as well as we knew each other.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line and looked down at the table. He had to get his emotions under control.

“I missed you too. Not being able to see you because of the pandemic has been really hard. You know we've never been away from each other this long. Ever.”

She gave him a sweet smile, hiding how she desperately wanted to jump into his arms and forget about the rest of the world. They sat staring at each other.

“Is the tv room window open still?” He pushed his chair back needing something to do before he acted on his feelings for Tessa. _Boundaries he repeated in his head._

When he got back Tessa was carrying their plates to the sink. “I’ll do dishes and you pick the movie.”

He smiled wide.

“Anything but 'Bloodsport', Moir.”

Tessa sat down on the couch. “Seriously? How many times have you seen 'The Office'?”

“Depends on the episode. They’re hysterical, Virtch.”

“Is this what you’re picking?”

“No.” He didn’t sound believable. “I turned on the tv and started flipping through the channels and I got stuck here.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

Scott started scrolling through the channels before stopping on HGTV.

Tessa nodded approvingly. “What do you have left to do in your house?”

“Not much really. I finished the last bathroom. I hung the dining room chandelier. It’s pretty much done.”

“Did you at least let Jackie make some of the design decisions?”

“Yeah, she picked out the bathroom tile. I’m not sure she’s absolutely in love with the idea of living so far away from the ‘city’.” He formed air quotes with his left hand. “It’s hard. She’s used to going out with friends, out to dinner, out for drinks. And, now she’s stuck with just me in the middle of nowhere. I’m not as charming as I think.” He laughed.

“You’re very charming.” She giggled. “It's hard though. Morgan and I were still newish when we moved to Vancouver and I don’t think either of us knew what to expect. We just packed up our clothes and headed to his house. I’ve never lived with anyone like that. It was weird at first, you try to be on good behavior, give each other space. And, then you get into a rhythm. I actually really liked it. It gave us an opportunity to get to know one another.”

“You find out real quick how compatible you are, that’s for sure. I never thought you and I’d be able to live together and now look at us.”

The small smile on Tessa’s face said it all. In less than five days they had managed to turn their lives upside down.

Scott’s phone buzzed. He glanced down and showed the screen to Tessa.

“Hey Ma.”

“Hi, is it raining again by you guys?” Alma asked.

“Yep. It is. You?”

“Yes, the storm is quite bad. How are you and Tessa?”

“We’re good. We’re just watching some tv.”

“Oh, I can let you go. I just wanted to say hi and check in. Give Tessa our love. Love you. Call us later.”

“Love you too. Bye Ma.”

“Alma sends her love.” He told her as he dropped his phone on the cocktail table.

“I could go for one of her chocolate chip cookies right now.” She got up. “You want some popcorn?”

“Sure.” He joined her.

Standing face to face with just a few inches of separation, Tessa closed her eyes as Scott tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. His fingers curled gently around her neck. He knew the rules, but he was desperate to break them. It was like there was a magnetic pull that neither of them could escape.

She opened her eyes and he reluctantly let her go.

Inside the safety of her kitchen, she released the breath she had been holding and scolded herself for almost giving in again to Scott. She placed the bag of popcorn into the microwave. Knowing he was just on the other side of the wall feeling just as conflicted made her only want him more. Jordan had asked her why she kissed Scott. Her sister was right, it didn’t just happen. It was years in the making. Years of counselling and yelling and fighting and making up and talking it out. Putting each other first. Creating a safe space and soft place for the other to land. They had put so much effort and work into creating the strongest partnership and friendship, they didn’t realize they were also creating a love that was indestructible and incomparable.

She handed Scott the bowl of popcorn and lifted the blanket he had spread out and sat down.

They stretched their legs out onto the coffee table and watched tv. Occasionally their hands would touch as they reached for popcorn.

Tessa couldn’t keep her eyes open; she slumped against Scott’s shoulder.

The next thing she heard was Phil Dunphy’s voice. She awoke with a start, blinking rapidly and confused.

“Hey sleepyhead,” he winked.

“I’m sorry. How long was I asleep?”

“Eh, about thirty minutes. Not long.”

She rubbed her eyes and shivered. “It’s chilly.”

Scott adjusted his position and held the blanket away from him. “C’mere.”

She snuggled in and enjoyed the warmth of his body. “Thanks.” She tilted her head back and looked at him.

“Boundaries,” he whispered.

She tucked her lips in as if that would be enough to hold her back. Staying away from Scott was a lot harder than she thought. Under the blanket, he played with her fingers never taking his eyes off her.

A clap of thunder caught them both by surprise and momentarily distracted them. The rain began to pour down.

When Tessa looked back at Scott, the moment had passed.

They turned their attention to the tv show, but neither was really able to concentrate. Sharing a blanket was not the best way to keep from crossing lines. They spent the next two hours pretending to watch television and pretending they weren’t seconds away from giving into their feelings.

“We should head up to bed.” Scott half-heartedly stifled a yawn. “Maybe grab a flashlight. The storm sounds pretty bad.”

“Okay.”

Scott changed out of his sweats and pulled the cover down on his bed.

“Scott?”

He turned around. “Yeah?”

“Can I sleep in here with you?” Tessa looked so innocent in her slightly oversized pajama set with polar bears wearing bathing suits.

“The storm?”

She nodded.

He knew she was partially lying but he was okay with it.

“Sure.”

She placed her phone on the nightstand and crawled into the bed. He slipped in next to her.

“Sweet dreams, T.”

“You too.”

The steady drumming of the rain should have made it easy for Tessa to fall asleep. Instead, her mind was a jumble of thoughts.

After her fourth loud sigh in a row, Scott spoke up. “T?”

“Hmm?”

“I can hear your brain tossing and turning, it’s louder than the rain.”

“Sorry. I can’t sleep.”

“Is the storm bothering you?”

“No.”

“School?”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

Tessa paused and sat up in bed. “I’m thinking about us.”

“What about us?” Scott leaned on his elbow.

“About everything. What we did, how we keep lying that that there are boundaries. Jordan asked me why we kissed and I told her it just happened.” She played with the blanket. “Because I think I’m trying very hard to convince myself instead of just admitting the truth.”

“Tess… you really wanna discuss this now?”

Tessa ignored his apprehension. “She says there was intent behind it even if I’m too afraid to admit it. And, she’s right. I know I keep saying how much I love Morgan, and I do. It doesn’t change the fact that I kissed you. That I wanted to kiss you and I still do. And everything else that I want to do. And sleeping in the same bed as you is a spectacularly horrible idea…”

“Maybe it’s best if I slept on the floor? I’ll grab a blanket and—”

“No, it’s okay.” Tessa laid back down.

Seconds later she sat up again. “I was so mad at you when you brought Jackie to Nashville and then the Walk of Fame. Like super mad.”

Scott pushed himself upright. “So, we are doing this right now. Having a discussion at nearly one in the morning?”

“I need to say this.” She looked serious.

Scott rubbed his hands together. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“I get Jackie was your girlfriend, but it was like you took our special moment and inserted this stranger into it. I know I acted like I was okay with it, but I wasn’t. I really wanted you all to myself. Just one more moment in that Virtue-Moir bubble with my best friend.”

“T, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know and I know I’m being petty and childish. It just felt like you were trying to prove something. To me, to yourself. Like you had your life under control. You survived the post-Olympic crash. And, I came face to face with the reality that you were moving on and leaving me behind which was every nightmare I ever had. I’ve missed you so much. Like you said, it’s the longest we’ve been away from each other in our entire lives.”

“I’ve missed you too. A lot. It’s been really weird to do stuff without you, especially coaching or just being on the ice. I’ll hear a song and think what you and Marie could do with it, or I see something on tv and want to tell you about it. Get your advice on stuff.”

“The thing is I’ve missed you since you and Jackie started dating. Watching you spend your nights on the tour bus talking to her, going down to Florida any chance you got. For the first time, I felt like the other woman in your life. And, I hate it.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear, a sign that she was nervous.

“I can’t lose you Scott.”

“T…” He reached for her hand. “You’re not gonna lose me.”

“If you marry her, I will. You’ll be her husband. You’ll be the father of her kids. And, we’ll just be two people in the record books. We’ll meet up for lunch or dinner and reminisce about all of our skating years together. There won’t be anymore Jeopardy watching or ballroom dance lessons when we’re 80. And, maybe that’s what’s meant to be but it’s already happening. I feel the shift.”

“Now who sounds like T-Swift.” He squeezed her hand.

Tessa smiled wistfully. “You’ve been mine since I was seven years old. I don’t know how to be without you. I don’t know how to share you. I don’t want to share you.”

“You think I do? When my buddies found out you were dating Morgan Rielly, they went crazy. Shit-talking. Called it the greatest mindfuck ever. They couldn’t believe it. Even Charlie and Danny laughed about it. Truth is, it wouldn’t have mattered who it was. It’s been pointed out to me on more than occasion that I can get a bit possessive when it comes to you.”

“I hate that you’re engaged.”

“What?”

“I hate that you’re engaged. That you made this enormous life decision without me. You barely knew Jackie and suddenly you were all in. You didn’t even think about it.”

“That’s not fair. Or true. I didn’t just propose out of thin air. I did think about it. You know I always wanted to get married and have a family of my own. I didn’t think it would happen that quickly, but it did.”

“It helps to have a matchmaking cousin looking out for you.”

“You and Morgan didn’t waste any time. Barely three months into dating and you decide to quarantine together. Now you’re getting a dog, moving to Toronto.” He snapped back.

Tessa rubbed her fingertips along her temple. “I’m not trying to pick a fight, I swear.”

“Sounds like you are.”

Tessa’s voice dropped to a whisper as she pleaded. “I don’t want you to marry her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Scott respond?  
> And Tessa and Scott get some unexpected news.

**Author's Note:**

> Tessa and Scott find a domestic rhythm that includes game-time, cooking, and working out.  
> Also, Scott receives a mysterious package.


End file.
